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Original poster

Which of your child(ren)'s friends/classmates do you like least and why?

76 replies

NormaSnorks · 28/08/2011 12:07

DS2 (9) asked me why we never seem to have classmate X over to play and I answered him quite honestly - "because he is rude to me, doesn't do things I ask (like take muddy shoes off in house) and is nasty to you about your toys and the things you do"
The bit I didn't say to DS is that I also think he is a bad influence on him, because DS copies his way of talking an attitude Hmm

Out of DS1(11)'s 'friends' I'm least keen on a child who comes to our house and proceeds to turn it upside down - nosing in drawers/ fiddling with stuff (models, toys, techo things) until he breaks them, and also has no respect for our home - jumps around on sofas/beds, and goudged a big scratch in our kitchen table with a paper clip Angry.

In both cases the parents think their children are little darlings/angels. I wish I had the guts to be honest with them...
In the case of the table incident, I DID mention it and the mother just looked a bit crestfallen, and said, "Oh poor Y, I expect he didn't realise he was doing it..."
No apology or anything....

OP posts:
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WelliesAndABrolly · 28/08/2011 15:30

Oh and my other pet peeve is children who expect to walk off as soon as they have finished their meal. The rule in this house is you wait until the other children have finished. So rude!

MrsRhettButler · 28/08/2011 15:46

Ditto gay40's post.

I don't hesitate to tell other children off

And I agree with op, if we all told the gods honest truth and complained more to parents of children who have misbehaved then maybe the parents would do something about it.
Mind you, I have said stuff to certain parents and they literally DON'T believe that their child is that bad.... Always making excuses and the such. Angry

Gay40 · 28/08/2011 16:56

I'd prefer to be told to my face if DD has been acting the kipper. I'll listen to both sides before saying or doing anything, but I won't make an excuse.

Takver · 28/08/2011 16:57

I would say that there aren't any of dd's friends that are hard to have round because they are badly behaved. In fact I would say most of them are much better behaved than she is (caveat here in that I know they are not all such angels at home, and dd is far better behaved when she is out!).

I do find extremely shy children rather hard work - only because it is so difficult to figure out whether they're having a nice time, if they're not eating because they're not hungry or because they don't like what is served etc. But I don't dislike them or blame them for it, its not their fault they're shy and I'm sure they don't want to be . . .

amigababy · 28/08/2011 17:10

when dd was 3 we had a little boy round, with his dm - we grown ups were sat drinking tea in the kitchen while the dc's played in the bedroom - occasionally they wandered in and said "it's down" and we just ignored them. Turns out the "it" that was down was the curtain rail that one or the other of them had been swinging on. In a generous spirit, all we could do was laugh - don't know why it was funny but it was - not too precious about it.
dd is now 15 and suitable friends are by and large self-selecting and all seem to behave just as she does when they come round to visit, therefore I like them all except the one who scuttled off without saying thank you or goodbye

ggirl · 28/08/2011 17:12

I have an irrational dislike for one of ds' friends.
Am not proud of it , but I think he's an evil wee bugger.

gabid · 28/08/2011 18:32

I really disliked a friend of DS who was rude, disruptive and didn't seem to have any boundaries and my DS (then 3) copied the rude behaviour and mannerisms and was obsessed with that boy. Now, they are 6 that boy is better and I don't dislike him anymore - I disliked the way he acted and he was not put in his place.

UniS · 28/08/2011 19:20

Which do I like least?

Well I'm not too keen on the one who is a little horror at birthday parties,tells my child they have the "wrong" clothes because they do not have logos on everything, is rough in the playground and whos mother thinks they are a little angel at home and can't think why they behave that out of the house.

Not too keen on the one who claims to be nearly X for 6 months before their birthday.

happyhorse · 28/08/2011 19:53

Why do some people get all sniffy if anyone admits to not liking a child? It's not a crime. Some children, like some adults, are very hard to find likeable.

DS hasn't started school yet but I expect some of his friends will be lovely and others will be vile.

lovecheese · 28/08/2011 20:15

Well, one of DD2's certainly springs to mind, trouble is she is one of her BF's so what can I do? I wouldn't actively encourage DD to ask her for tea but if she persisted for long enough and I had run out of excuses I would have to concede defeat. And the problem is that DD is quite a sensitive little soul whilst friend is full of herself and is the best at everything; quite destructive in the long-term for DD. (Hope friend goes to a different secondary school).

Bourbonchops · 28/08/2011 21:50

My eldest daughter seems to make friends who are like her. Respectful, sweet, blah blah blah... So I have no problem with any of them.
But my younger DD aged 5 seems like a magnet to all the badly behaved, bossy, nasty little madams. I know I sound a bit Hmm but my DD's best friend is such a nasty little girl considering she's only 5 and she really bully's my daughter who wont say boo to a goose. Angry

Original poster
NormaSnorks · 29/08/2011 09:33

Bourbon - that is exactly like the situation with my two DC! DS1 has mostly lovely friends - very like him in manners/ character - but DS2 is in a small class with a limited 'choice' and his supposed 'best' friend is a precocious (sp?) only child who is full of back-chat/ tantrums and (sorry to say) a compulsive liar. He is a sly little thing, and manages to stir up trouble in the playground, but then always manages to extricate himself without getting into trouble. Privately DH & I refer to him as 'Master Teflon' i.e. nothing sticks to him.....

OP posts:
HoneyPablo · 29/08/2011 09:37

Must give you an enormous sense of wellbeing to know that your children are so perfect.

Bourbonchops · 29/08/2011 11:27

HoneyPablo, not sure who your comment is aimed but just thought I would say I don't think my children are perfect- at all! My comment about my eldest was slightly tongue in cheek (although her friends are all pleasant)
I know my own DC's faults / shortcomings but they don't include being nasty, bullying little moo's

cjbartlett · 29/08/2011 11:34

Ds once had two 6 yr olds round here
They ganged up against him, threw all his toys at him, one of them kicked a football really hard at my little dd deliberately
Same boy also mocked my ds for not having a laptop and never being on a sleepover ( at 6 Hmm )
it might have been the dynamic of three but I was really shocked and the worst offender has never been invited back
I've since been told by ds that he's a bully and terrorises quite a few kids Sad

spiderpig8 · 29/08/2011 17:54

'In both cases the parents think their children are little darlings/angels. I wish I had the guts to be honest with them'

perhaps other parents are saying exactly the same things about your DC???

MrsHWeasley · 29/08/2011 17:57

The one who is here right now

Will read thread now.

spiderpig8 · 29/08/2011 17:58

the rude,boisterous even destructive kids I can handle.It's the precocious little madams that i can't abide

Original poster
NormaSnorks · 29/08/2011 18:16

spiderpig - I know my kids aren't angels, but I doubt very much friends would be specifically complimentary if there had been a problem - they just wouldn't say anything, or do the 'he was fine' thing.
Also my kids get re-invited round to their friends a lot, which wouldn't happen if they were a nightmare would it?

My OP was about the mum of one of DS2's friends who had complained (to another mum) that nobody had invited her son round to play over the summer... err .. it doesn't take a rocket scientist to perhaps begin to question why?

As some other posters have said - kids are not stupid, and they come home and tell you how badly behaved X was at Y's house (or at school). Sometimes it seems like everyone except the parents are aware what a 'handful' their child is...?

OP posts:
FellatioNelson · 29/08/2011 19:38

The one I like the least is in prison now - aged barely 16. I didn't pay school fees for that kind of nonsense, I can tell you. He was eventually expelled but not until my son had declared him to be his 'best friend'. Hmm

There have been many and varied reasons I have grown to dislike him intently over the years, starting with the time in year 9, when he decided he didn't like my son any more, and bullied him so badly that he refused to go to school for a whole week and begged to leave. Then, once they'd kissed and made up, Hmm he came to my house for a sleepover (against my better judgement) stole my bottle of vodka in the middle of the night and then prompted to vomit it back up over my armchair.

Then there was the time he was caught prowling around in my neighbour's back garden and extensive outbuildings (across the road) at 3am, when he should have been asleep in my house, and he claimed he'd 'gone for a walk and got lost' Hmm He hasn't been allowed near my house since, which is unfair of me apparently, and I am just a big snob. Yes I am - suck it up, tosspot. Angry

Oh, and the time my son was out with him and a few other friends, and he decided to steal a bottle of booze from a mentally ill homeless person, which was reported to the police by a witness. When the police came after them he ran away and left my son to stand there like a lemon and take the flak for him. Luckily we arrived a few minutes later as we were on our way to pick him up anyway, and they were very nice, and said they knew my son had not done anything wrong, and that he was very polite and accommodating. Grin Phew.

Oh, and there was the time he stole a car and crashed it into a house. Then there was an unfortunate accident with the baseball bat....the death threats, the restraining order... but that was a misunderstanding apparently. come to think of it, they've all been misunderstandings.......

bigbuttons · 29/08/2011 19:43

badly behaved kids simply don't get invited again.

Scootergrrrl · 29/08/2011 19:45

Eeek. Makes my friend of DS who I don't really like having round because she's such a telltale pale into insignificance Grin

Mine are still reasonably small so I find a firm "stop behaving that way or you'll have to go home" works. Am quaking at the idea of dealing with horrid little guests when it doesn't.

anonandlikeit · 29/08/2011 19:47

when ds1 was younger i was nice to their friends & we did have a few nightmare visits, now I am equally horrible to their friends as I am them & tbh most of them are OK.... Certainly no better or worse than my two.

I did have an 8 yrs old ask me if he could use the bog as he needed to piss, i was shocked & asked him not to swear.. he said "my dad lets me say it" I told him that i don't allow swearing in my house & if he used bad language again i'd take him home before tea.
Now he only swears if he thinks i'm not in ear shot.

ragged · 29/08/2011 20:12

Don't have much opinion about DC1 or DC2's classmates. Or DC4's preschool peers.
DC3, though....
I presume that DC3 is typecast as violent, obnoxious and out-of-control, btw, for those who want to presume the worst. I know of several children who have definitely done far worst than DC3, maybe repeatedly, and yet were quite popular with peers, unlike DC3, but I don't have anything much else to go on with why DC3 has no friends.
I dislike J because DC3 chose him as a best friend and J's mother is very unfriendly and comes across as precious, is unfriendly if I try to talk to her (is friendly to some other parents), won't let J come 4 a playdate no matter how nicely we ask. J may be perfectly nice, but I wouldn't know... he's tainted by association...
I'm not keen on M because she has had bossy gos at DS which led to him blowing up badly in class once; plus her mother gossips with family resulting in one of DD's friends not being allowed to come around to play any more (okay, I'm extrapolating what's happened, but it all fits & explains various things). M gossips with her classmates about things too, which is I how DS knows what "bluetooth" is and I know that M's mother got busted for driving with a mobile phone Hmm.

It's not the kids, is it? It's the parents who annoy me. I really to stop being a SAHM & get a job to better ignore this rubbish.

motherinferior · 29/08/2011 20:17

Ones who are rude about food. I don't mind them not liking the food I've cooked - and if they are struggling I will occasionally, if I like them, suggest an alternative; but the ones who say 'I don't like this' get a sweet smile and a passive-aggressive 'well, that's what's for tea, darling'.