What do you think the problem might be with dd?

[GooseyLoosey]

Dd is just finishing Yr 2.

Her teacher has finally confirmed to us that her failure to listen/comprehend what he says goes beyond the norm and is affecting her education. I have been worried for a while, but managed to convince myself that there was no real problem and I just expected too much from her. The teacher suggested taking her to the GP as otherwise we will find it hard to access any help at school as her behaviour is great and her attainment is average. I am going to do this, but am trying to work out what the problem might be in advance.

It is not just a failure to pay attention with dd but a complete failure to process what is said to her. Some examples might help:

She will ask what is for tea. I will answer. She will ask again. I will answer again. She will ask again and I will say I have already answered twice - what was the answer I gave. Most of the time, with some thought, she will be able to tell me what the answer was - but she does have to think about it. This happens all the time (but she generally appears to hear just fine).

I was explaining that the plot of a book was about "people looking for water" and her immediate response was "what is water". I said "you know what water is - think". She said "I don't", I said "you do". Eventually she was able to tell me.

She has a favourite episode of a television programme which we have recorded and she has watched many times. Recently she wanted to refer to the episode to me and she described it in terms of what people were wearing and the visual events that happened in it rather than giving a narrative of the plot.

She often watches a programme like Scooby Do and really has no clue who is doing what to who and what is happening.

In terms of attainment - she is a 2a and 2b (pretty much exactly where she was last year). She is the youngest in the year and has a late Aug birthday.

Any ideas?

Oh, soooooo much of this thread sounds like ds1...

We're waiting for him to see the Ears Nose n Throat Specialist as the gp thinks the adenoids might be to blame, swelling and affecting his hearing.

Definitely Watching this thread and coming back for a proper read soon:)

I really wanted to comment on the IndigoBells dyslexia comment that all the dyslexia label means is that she is struggling to learn to read. Having worked as a dyslexia support tutor in a university and having a close relative who is dyslexic I would say that trouble reading is only a tiny part of dyslexia. Many of the early comments on this post could be describing dyslexics. In my experience they can not process conversation in the same way as non-dyslexics - the way it has been described to me is "I hear the sounds you are making but I can't link them to a meaning. I have to concentrate really hard to make them make sense and whilst I am concentrating on the next one I forget what you have said before." Other common problems I have found are a really bad sense of direction, even to the point of getting lost on journeys they do every day, bad organisation and poor short term memory with fantastic long term. There are many other things but I just wanted to get across the point that dyslexia is a different way of the brain working not just a struggle to read.

Edukation - i think the comment was made due to the reading score on my dd's KS1 assessment. Thats why it just mentioned the reading aspect.

There are a lot of other things worng which all point to dyslexia. She has some of taits you have mentioned, definately in conversations. She gets her words muddled up when speaking and writing. She has to think of the right word to use, watches TV but hasnt got a clue what its about.

Thanks for all your further input

edukation - what you say about dyslexia is interesting. Dd has a fab long term memory (it amazes me the details she can recall), but stuggles with short term recollection. She will also get confused with language - she was trying to tell me what had happened in an episode of Scooby Do and get referring to what the cat had done. At the end I said "what cat?" and it turned out she meant dog! If she it too hot, she will often say she is too cold as she has just mixed the words up. However, I had ruled out dyslexia in my own mind as she spells phonetically - or is that too simplistic?

dietcokeandwine - prompting in some way would help her a lot. I know however that she will totally resist anything which appears to be giving her special help, she would also totally deny that there is any problem at all. If possible, I need to disguise any support she receives as something else. When she digs her heels in, its impressive to watch!

Fifi - I too am worried about dd moving into KS2, I think she will find it harder. I hope you get the help for your dd. I too fear that dd will not utter a word when I take her to see the GP. Indeed, I am hoping that I can talk to him on my own as there will be no point whatsoever in him talking to her.

Would be grateful if any of you have any ideas on how to achieve anything at all with a dc who will never, ever admit that there is any kind of problem.

Thanks Goosey

I have fired off the letter to the LEA which indigo sent me. I have informed the school this morning by letter and requested her P scale result.

The doctor was fine she just got a nod of the head from my dd. I find it hard to get my dd to do any work. The homereaders are a battle as are the massive projects she gets set. Its hard to get her to concentrate on them. She is constantly looking elsewhere when i try and do any work with her.

I am going to download some stuff from the net which she may find more appealing than the work the school are setting her.

Marking my place as I need to come back & read this thread later...

I've been following this thread with great interest. Goosey, your DD sounds very similar in a number of ways to ours - about whom our concerns have now reached a real peak, as I have recently been posting in another thread. Ours is 2 years older than yours, but everything you've described - the not listening to/taking in of what is said to her, the failure to follow a narrative/plot, the sudden loss of word meanings sometimes (in our DD's case, this is something she spotted and pointed out to us herself - and something she said caused her to ask questions that got her laughed at in class), etc. Where ours differs is in finding social relationships in the playground very difficult sometimes (I think you said yours was socially happy) and in having periods of being very anxious (you haven't mentioned this I don't think). But like yours (and most kids), she doesn't want to be different, and until very recently - last half of Y4 - would not have admitted she had a problem with learning/listening/understanding etc.

An ed psych assessment we had done privately diagnosed mild dyslexia, and a clinical psychologist has identified generalised anxiety disorder (which we feel has only arisen in the last 8 months, when school has been particularly awful, though she has always had a tendency to be a bit anxious) plus feels she is very mildly on the autistic spectrum - but not enough to be likely to get a 'formal' diagnosis. But in themselves these are only labels - what really matters of course is what gets done to help. For our DD, the clinical psychologist's advice is that he can help with the anxiety, but that the dyslexia must also be addressed, at school - the two problems for our DD are distinct, but in reality of course they interact and magnify each other to cause her very real distress. But as I have posted elsewhere, the school simply refuse to accept there is a problem, not least because thus far her NC levels are average or above. Instead, they just say we are being pushy and anxious parents. Meanwhile, DD has literally become a total wreck this calendar year. The trauma of our experience with this, makes me urge you, as others have done, to act as soon as you can - I wish I had made a stronger fuss earlier. We have been talking to the school about our concerns since Y2, but, I realise in retrospect, have just repeatedly been politely fobbed off (until last week, when it was offensive and very upsetting). They just do not want to know.

As for the GP visit and DD not speaking, etc - again, ours was similar here. In fact, with all our GP visits related to her and to request referrals, we or I went without her. Apart from anything else, I did not want her to feel I was sitting there criticising and complaining about her (as it may have sounded to her) while she sat beside me. The GP, whom I do know pretty well, was fine with this. But obviously it's different when it comes to the next appointments with the specialists!

My dd has social problems which have ben ongoing since pre-school. She has been much better this year as she has on really good friend. When we go into the yard on a morning she will not approach her friend and will stand by herself. She is fine once her friend approaches her.

www.dyslexiatreatment.com/

Ive been reading the dyslexia and adhd symptoms on her and my dd had traits of both ADHD Primarily Inattentive and dyslexia.

I need someone to tell me what she has or i will just be 2nd guessing TBH.

Goosey - if she is in denial that there is a problem, could you not go with that and say 'There's nothing to worry about but we want to make things better and easier for you and to help you learn as much as you can'.

She might be worried. It may be her way of dealing with it. Or she may not give a hoot. If that's the way she rolls, you might have to say 'It's fine if you aren't worried at all, but I want to make things a bit better. We're going to try, so we expect you to do your bit and try hard too... ??

Thanks everyone for sharing your experiences - its so much easier knowing other people perceive their children in this way. I have kept on wondering if it is all in my imagination, and your perspectives help me to see that it is not.

Climbingrose3970 - your dd does sound very similar. Dd is thankfully very happy at the moment - helped by the fact that she has 2 very close friends who are also fairly shy as she is. If she did not have these friends, I think the position would have been more like your dd.

Just like you, the label does not really matter at all except as a means to getting some form of intervention put in place.

I think the school think I am the pushy parent from hell although so far, the head and I really get on rather well so I am at least lucky in that regard.

WowOo - at a guess I would say she is in denial and refusing to acknowledge the problem is her way of dealing with it. I know that whatever I say to her, she will be very upset about any intervention. She is a child who would not even have happy birthday sang to her at her party.

Fifi - good luck with the LEA. No idea if dyslexia runs in our family. As far as I know it is not in mine, but DH is adopted so we have no idea at all.

Wrote a long letter to the GP setting out basically what I have said on this thread and took dd to see hom on Fri (she only actually saw him for 30 seconds, ostensibly about her excema - the rest was just me and him). He said that were it not for the fact I say she has good social interaction, he would think from what I had written that she was on the autistic spectrum. He has referred us to a pediatrician.

I was not expecting him to say anything like that and it has shaken me a bit - now I am watching her thinking,"well, she is shy - maybe she is not so good socially. There was that time when she was left out...". Any one got any words of wisdom for me ?

It's great news she's been referred to the paed.

She may or may not have ASD - either way she's still your gorgeous girl - nothing's changed.

Just it will be easier for you to help her.

Don't panic. Keep an open mind. And good luck.

And you can always ask for help on the SN children board - we were all there at some point.......

It'll all be OK. You are now finally on the path to getting her the help she needs - whether she has ASD, or dyslexia, or ADHD or something else, or nothing.....

Thanks Indigo. I know it's great she has been referred. I guess part of me just wanted him to say "pull yourself together - she's perfectly normal" and I am so sad that he didn't. I know he can't make a diagnosis himself but it was still a shock. I am second guessing myself about everything I have thought about her now.

By the way - I did that hearing differentiation test on the dcs and dd's results were the same as ds who is a year older and has no problems at school at all (oddly - niether of them passed so it may be down to the way I say things).

Auditory Processing Disorder (APD) is a listening disability, or about not being able to process all that you hear all sound based information which includes speech.
Those who have APD can have problems following conversations and following long lists of verbal instructions.
According to the UK Medical Research Council 10% of children have some degree of APD, including those who may have had Otitis Media with Effusion (Glue Ear)
APD can mimic other conditions such as ADHD and Apsergers Syndrome.
APD is also one of the underlying cognitive causes of the the dyslexic symptom.

For an APD assessment you will require a GP referral to an APD assessment Centre currently Great Ormond Street Hospital, although it is hoped more regional centres will be coming on stream. You will also need the results of a recent hearing test so that any hearing impairment can be calibrated into the Battery of APD diagnostic tests.

Girls with ASD mask it much more effectively than boys, and it may not become more "obvious" until teenage years. However a good paediatrician should be looking for this and; ASD, Dyslexia, and other processing issues.
From my experience it is good to know why you are different, especially when you become a teenager (when everyone feels like a freak secretly).

No time to read your thread but the bit about the TV prog reminded me of my sister who is dyslexic and has LDs. This manifested itself in part in an inability to always recall the word for something. So she can remember everything else about something just not the name. (as with programme) When she was at school her friends turned this into a game (bless them!) and would happily spend a few minutes playing 20 questions and high fiving whoever was the first to guess whatever was on their mind. Shows you what a clued up school can achieve!

Worst thing about this is that your girl will be aware of it:shes not stupid, she has bits in her memory that dont work the way they normally do. Very damaging to self-esteem and very frustrating never to be able to process something fast enough to get your hand up in class to participate. Remeber she also doesnt understand why she cant do what everyone else is able to - its very demoralisng

People like this often need to access info in different ways. My sister has very physical things she needs to do to 'get' to text. Eg: run finger along what she is reading. Trace an arrow, letter word with her finger and 'feel' it (rather than just use her eyes to read).

Get her some clued up professional support otherwise she its likely that she will withdraw and try to counter what is happening by acting up/out. You will need to educate the 'sit still dont fidget teacher'. My sister is the happiest most successful adult you could wish for. Altho she does have the occasional chip on her shoulder.

Good luck!

have seen last few posts now and realise you're on your way. Well done. I was a little alarmed when the opening page it looked like the discussion was heading in the direction of addressing this with a bit of fish oil!