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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

A thread for the average or below average DC...

90 replies

oddgirl · 12/07/2011 17:33

Feeling distinctly depressed by all the threads on here about levels...I have 2 DC-a 6 year old at end of year 1 with dyspraxia and ASD so levels mean diddly squat...still struggling with writing his name but has been able to tell the time since he was 2 so not easy to assess really..an NT DD (4) about to start reception in Sept-she cant read or write but is bloody brilliant at crawling round the garden pretending to be a worm. Have a feeling I have not got 2 geniuses on my hands bog standard for DD I reckon and totally off the wall for DS...anyone else?

OP posts:

latermater · 13/07/2011 21:17

Wonderful, wonderful thread. Thank you oddgirl. This is just the reality check I need today having received my DS's Y1 report.

Insanity · 13/07/2011 23:20

My dc are average, maybe ds could use a little help with writing but he will get there in the end, as they all do, in their own little ways.

They are above average with their sense of fun, much more important I think then any levels in primary school!

allegrageller · 13/07/2011 23:31

me too.

ds1 got a solid 'B' report this year (year 3) and a prize for 'effort and determination' in work. I couldn't be prouder of him.

It's a highly competitive private school and they have got my poor little ds2 aged 4 on 'probation' in the reception year as he failed the entrance tests!! Apparently his 'pencil grip' and concept of rhyming etc were not 'good enough'! Poor little mite being forced to compete at such a young age.

Both my boys are total geeks, amazing on the computer, cannot be arsed reading or writing, or focusing on anything other than the screen even if it's off (they start begging to turn it back on.... I have to take them out a lot :D) I suspect they are probably not academic types, but who knows, things can change.

I'm an academic myself and was always a swotty bookloving kid so it's been a surprise to me, but not a disappointment- it's great that they seem to be different to me.

Original poster

oddgirl · 14/07/2011 08:28

Lovely to hear of some late bloomers-have to say there is little doubt DS is severely dyspraxic-verbal, oral and motorwith delayed social/communication skills (autistic spectrum without a doubt) But he is just fabulous and we are doing masses of trampolining, swimming and the best thing-yoga to help him.As I put in his end of term report, DS has further to go than most, so for me his achievements are all the greater. He is without doubt the quirkiest boy in town but full of brilliant ideas and I am so so proud of him mainly because he has taught me so much as a parent and I am a better more tolerant person because of him-for us learning is not a race down the motoway, but a meander around the lanes stopping to look at things that nobody else sees....and that goes for NT DD too...

Thanks again all..

OP posts:

SweetGrapes · 14/07/2011 10:19

allegrageller, I wouldn't worry one bit. The geeks shall inherit the earth...
bill gates anybody?

I've got a pair of chickens , pakk pakkk pakk pakkapakkpakkpakk....
flapping arms and all. Lots of original jokes about why the xxx crossed the road ... we have great fun after school but not much writing... [hgrin]

Ormirian · 14/07/2011 10:23

Hmmm.... all these little animal-impersonators. DS2 does it too - all the bloody time! In fact he got old off by our neighbour a few weeks ago for 'screaming' in the garden. He wasn't screaming, he was being a chimpanzee! Tsk! Stupid man....

And there was the time he was being a dog in the garden centre with GPs. All the old people were saying 'awww, isn't he sweet' ...untill he 'cocked his leg' on a display of garden chairs

In fact there were times when he spent months on all 4s, talking in animal noises and being cross because we wouldn't let him eat out of a bowl on the floor.

It must be something to do with very intelligent children who don't fit into school boxes!

paddingtonbear1 · 14/07/2011 12:33

oh yes, dd loves pretending to be various animals - current faves are cats, dogs or dragons (the latter after she saw How to Train your Dragon)!

sugartongue · 14/07/2011 17:28

DS just got the prize for "kindness to others" and I thought of this lovely thread and our lovely DCs...he also does a great cat impression..really what is it with the animals?!

allegrageller · 14/07/2011 17:42

yes my favourite bit in Ds1's report was in his music lesson report. (He got 'fair' for actual musical achievement- and 'excellent' for attitude :-D) The teacher remarked on his 'sunny disposition' and said it made him a pleasure to teach which I thought was so lovely I nearly CRIED (soppy mother emoticon)

I hear you all on the animal noises, and just flipping NOISES in general...ds1 spends a lot of time screeching,really, or just letting out lovely big primal screams for the joy of it. Excellent cat impressions too. Ds2 more of a silent geek until the StarWars induced whining starts up....'I want to go on Star Wars lego games nooooooowwwwww' etc.

sweetgrapes I do worry SLIGHTLY when I have to physically prise my FOUR year old off my laptop. He practically drools over it, would spend 4 hours at a time on it, and usually reverts to toddler tantrum straight away when I suggest a nice art and craft session or some reading :S

MigratingCoconuts · 14/07/2011 18:09

DD does lizards and dragons...less noise but lots of running around with tails and flapping 'wings'

Cortina · 14/07/2011 18:17

It's sad that we so often underestimate a child's potential to develop. Minds are malleable and expandable, learning capacity is expandable. It's possible to be 'average' today and doing more than anyone thought possible tomorrow.

Not only that but once a child has been recognised as 'bright' they'll rarely lose that label. If they don't live up to their early billing excuses will often be made, in with the wrong crowd etc. A child that's been labeled as 'average' that goes on to exceed expectations will often be seen as having an amazing work ethic. Once these judgements have been made they're rarely rescinded, no one thinks they might have been wrong about the 'bright' or 'average' child in the first place.

If a child believes (and their parent, teachers etc) that intelligence is hereditary, a life sentence, and they are pretty average chances are they'll live up to that expectation. The mind is incredibly powerful, new developments in cognitive science too have proved you can get incrementally smarter. With a growth mindset it's amazing how far you can go.

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 14/07/2011 18:23

I am regularly astonished at all the MNers whose DCs apparently got level 3s at the end of Y2 and are worried about it

I was reminded of this book recently(it's another MNer's nickname!). I absolutely loved it as a child. I wish I'd remembered it earlier (ds is a bit old for it now at 10) - he'd have loved it too I think.

Blindcavesalamander · 14/07/2011 18:48

I had two cousins about twenty years younger than me and three siblings similarly younger. My cousins both read really early and fluently, anything you put in front of them and asked them to read. It was fun and exciting at the time to be wowed by what such small people could do. My sister, by comparison, struggled and began much later. However the thrill wore off for my cousins and they hated books for presents and havn't grown up to have their noses in books. However, once my sister overcame her initial difficulties she discoverd she loved reading and spent her pocket money on books, especially Animal Ark ones, which she adored. I still remember her sitting in bed and reading, just like I loved to do.

Also, what is average and is it so bad? Someone once said to me that we can't all be above average, or the average would have to be moved.

Children aren't 'finished' (and niether are adults, so long as we can still learn and discover). I thought I was really talented when I was younger and was fully expecting to be a great writer, remembered for generations. When I feel miserable about my failures in that area and embarrassed about my illusions of granduer (sorry if my spelling's rubbish) I try to think to myself that there is no deadline for success in life until you are, indeed, dead! I don't think educating our children is a race either. They may discover a great and unusual talent in their later lives.

Blindcavesalamander · 14/07/2011 18:59

Also, where I live it's extra bad as we have the evil 11+ ....In my DD1's class the children are now either under the pressure of sitting for exams they will pass or fail, and so influence their future educational lives, or feeling like the ones not clever enough to sit. Whichever catagory they fall into they will be divided. What happened to the idea that someone could excell in maths or science or English, but struggle in another area? And the children do not even have fair chances as the richer parents all buy their children extra tuition. Our headmistress even warned us that they had had a message from one of the grammar schools that children whe were coached to pass the test were then sometimes struggleing at the school. I wish the 11+ didn't exist.

allegrageller · 14/07/2011 22:44

Ah the evil 11 plus, my mum went into paroxysms of anxiety about putting me in for that.

Btw if it's any consolation to the parents of the 'average' child, I was top top top in everything most of the way through school, winning prizes etc, Oxbridge degree, MA, PhD, academic career....also clinical depressive with incredibly low stress tolerance, which is part of the reason said career is probably now over. So early brilliance means nothing really. A stable, happy personality is so much more important and I think in the end leads to greater 'success'. And anyway- success IS happinness isnt' it? in the sense that if you have the bloody lot and are too depressed to enjoy it, it's worth nothing. But if you are happy with less, then you have everything.

ragged · 14/07/2011 23:51

?I wasn?t very good in school at all, I was kind of useless. I found the work really, really difficult.?
The man who said that was also dyspraxic (motor skills). Any clues who it is?

ragged · 14/07/2011 23:54

ps: it is someone rather famous, respected & accomplished. If you can't resist the temptation to Google don't blurt out answer on thread right away!

Thought it might cheer those of you up who think below average may not be good enough.

Chandon · 15/07/2011 07:39

DS1 is in Y3, and has just got his levels, it's a 2c for reading/writing. I guess that is below average!

And it's been bloody hard work to get there!!! (extra homework, KipMcGrath...blood, sweat and tears).

He has no SEN, he just isn't very good at language.

He is ETXREMELY good at trading though, he always ends up with better Pokemon cards than he started with. He even out-trades the 10 yr olds. He always manages to get the cards he wants (we started out with a £5 tin from e-bay, we now have more level X than you can shake a stick at.).

I can see him as an EXCELLENT future second hand car salesman , he just seems to be able to persuade others. (cue me calling up friends' mums to check they o.k. the swaps!)

Chandon · 15/07/2011 07:43

is it the same guy that said:

"It's not that I'm so smart, it's just that I stay with problems longer."?

Riveninside · 15/07/2011 07:54

Just got dds end of year 2 report. Well below average and cant read or write. But she is happy and out my hair 7 hours a day.
This is partyly why i home edded my other kids. No bloody labels, no grades, no assessment. Just fun in learning as and when they wanted.

Insanity · 15/07/2011 10:25

Well, I read early, was apparently a bright child, passed my 11 plus, refused the grammar school and went to the local comp to be with my friends. My gcse's were good but I could have done better, same with my a levels.

The problem was that although I started out with great promise I also loved to socialise and have fun, a little too much :o I fell in love about the time I was doing my a levels, and also the same time I got offered an RAF scholarship, which I never accepted. I am still in love with that same man, have two fun loving kids, a rewarding job where I get to socialise help those in need.

Who says brains is everything, I wouldn't change my life at all!

Insanity · 15/07/2011 10:26

Is it the man who is on the rich list?

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 15/07/2011 11:45

Who, who, who?

Is it someone Bill Gatesey? I don't think it is Gates mind, otherwise we'd know I'd have thought

DS seems to be becoming really quite entrepreneurial and has fairly recently (growing maturity maybe) become a real grafter for the first time - sold shed loads of stuff at the school fete recently (wasn't asked to, missed out on playing with friends but seemed to enjoy costermongering), hauling barrows full of gravel for hours at school grounds day. It's lovely to see :)

Tillyscoutsmum · 15/07/2011 12:40

Was it Branson ? or Sugar ?

ragged · 15/07/2011 13:27

Oh no, Chandon -- not that clever guy, now that would be something.
Do you really want me to say? It's easy enough to Google the quote.
It's somebody known for other talents & charms (HINT), not esp. brainy or physical achievements.

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