A thread for the average or below average DC...

[oddgirl]

Feeling distinctly depressed by all the threads on here about levels...I have 2 DC-a 6 year old at end of year 1 with dyspraxia and ASD so levels mean diddly squat...still struggling with writing his name but has been able to tell the time since he was 2 so not easy to assess really..an NT DD (4) about to start reception in Sept-she cant read or write but is bloody brilliant at crawling round the garden pretending to be a worm. Have a feeling I have not got 2 geniuses on my hands bog standard for DD I reckon and totally off the wall for DS...anyone else?

[nunmenepofregademeno]

Just reading through this and chuckling that there are still those who have added comments on a thread titled "for the average or below average DC" still can't resist posting "my dd/ds is very bright and can speak and write three languages at age 5 but can't do..." then name a mundane skill like riding a bike or holding a pencil. How patronising.

[rebl]

I'm extremely proud of my ds (rec). We've not got his report yet and I don't know about levels etc. What I do know is that he might not be able to read more than a handful of sight words, write anything other than his name, or recognise numbers beyond 10 but he can now go into school without a 2hr tantrum and most weeks now he doesn't refuse school. This is more important to me than anything else. Next step, learn something .

[HumperdinkFangboner]

Dealing with RL competitive mums ATM, it's driving me mad. DS is being assessed by the Ed Psychologists and I'm finding it hard to tell people!

He's come on massively since he started reception but he's still on level 1+ reading books, he's trying so hard but I'm worried that he's not going to cope in Y1.

[CrapolaDeVille]

My oldest two are a little apart unfortunately the oldest is lower levels than the younger, or the same. WE don;t discuss levels, only effort. The younger is doing above average but could do much better and the older is below average and hates work.

Both got stunning remarks about being kind, helpful, working in teams etc. My youngest, 2, can already read and recognise letters and numbers....largely because I have ignored him and given him my itouch to play with!!

[EllenJaneisnotmyname]

My DS2 isn't average at all. He has ASD and a statement of SEN and nobody could ever describe him as at all average! I was very proud that he managed to get average Y6 SATs results, though.

[RoadArt]

When my DC started school was the over anxious parent, wanting to know grades and believed they were important. As time has gone by, I have realised it makes no difference whatsover how fast your child can read, write, do maths etc., that all children learn at their own pace and that you cannot compare.

One child might be excel in maths but be lousy in sport. Another child could be fantastic in a sport or art or music or drama or anything else, but academically they struggle.

All children are different and all that matters is that your own child is progressing at their own rate.

Getting anxious about whether your child is reading hard enough books at school does not matter. Children can read at home, and parents get too anxious about pushing their kids to do better, to do a bit more, but in the end they will all do what they will do.

I wish someone had told me this when my DC started school.

[hester]

I've just got my dd's school report. She is in reception, one of the oldest in her year, and I have to report that she doesn't seem special at all

Have courage, OP, and ignore all those competitive mums. I've said it before on here, but I started school light years ahead of the other kids - I was reading before I was 3 - but I peaked at the age of 4 and it's been downhill ever since. Honestly, Reception was the last time I was ever top of the class in anything. My db, by contrast, didn't read till he was 9, left school at 16 with no exams whatsoever, and has now got two degrees and a fabulous glamorous job

[mrsspews]

I think it is terrible that our education system makes the parents of such young children worry about their child's achievement in a maths and English. So much of the focus in education is on the levels in those subjects purely because it is the way that schools and teachers are judged. I think it is very damaging for our children and I hope I am still in teaching when the government finally wake up and decide to follow the example of countries who don't start formal school until much later.

[oddgirl]

Thanks all-really cheered me up! I am inordinately proud of both my DC-my DS for managing finally to remain in the classroom all day without a meltdown and for my DD for being the most talented worm ever...it seems to me after reading MN that having an academically average or below average child is so rare amongst all those bog standard geniuses, I feel very priviledged to have 2 such rare species...

[paddingtonbear1]

Thanks for starting this thread. My dd (just turned 8, coming to the end of yr 3) has always struggled at school. Her reading has improved but her writing and spelling are not good, and she is a fair way behind in maths. She is very creative though and has a great imagination!

[pleasekeepcalmandcarryon]

I think people should focus more on effort than levels. A lot of SN/SpLD kids will have worked bloody hard for average/below average levels where as some kids will be naturally academic and probably get KS2 L5s without breaking a sweat.

There isn't actually anything amazing about doing something that comes easily to you. It's hardwork that deserves recognition. There was an interesting Harvard lecture on BBC4 about this a few months ago-made me re-evaluate who/what I consider to be intelligent/amazing.

This will never change in primary schools though, parents will always be proud of high acheiveing DC, even if those DC put no effort in at all :)

[Taffeta]

My DD (4) is just finishing Reception ( August birthday, started Jan ) and is ahead of where DS was at the same age. But DS with an October birthday, has nearly a year on her and his reading and writing levels were waaay ahead of her by the end of Reception.

They are different children, and I am learning to celebrate the differences. Whilst DS had always raced ahead confidently and loudly, DD does things quietly, and most importantly at her own pace. She's always been like it, potty trained 6 months after DS, she decided to do it when she was ready, not me. And not one accident once she had it. I suspect reading will be the same. At her pace, when she chooses.

And she's got a good ear for music and DS is tone deaf. We've just had Sports Day and while DS won his races, she got a sticker for stylish running and a joint 3rd on the podium and couldn't have been more chuffed.

[cassgate]

Hi

I am new to mumsnet and I joined because I wanted to post to find out if anyone had experienced getting below average scores on the eyfs assessments. I wanted to say how refreshing it is to see this post as I have been getting very anxious about the low scores my ds has been given in certain areas. I knew he was going to get a low score for writing as he is not remotely interested in it and can just about write his name and I had already decided that there seems little point in writing if you cannot read so have concentrated my efforts on the reading at home. Seems he is also behind with numeracy as well although I am not convinced they have scored him correctly on this. I just feel that there is so much pressure put on them when they are still so young but at the same time feel that as this is the education system they are in and is what is expected, I should be doing extra at home to help him catch up before he goes into year 1. I certainly do not remember it being this intense when I was at school.

[DrNortherner]

My ds is 9, average in all subjects, really behind with his hand writing. It's terrible. However he is delightful, charming, funny and entertaining that I hope will stand him in good stead in years to come. I have no desire to push him into academia if he is not academic.

[MigratingCoconuts]

This is my favourite thread at the moment. I feel at home here.

[matilda10]

DS about to get sats results. Already all I am hearing is .... got all 3's. Can't imagine dd will get any 3's. Also handwriting appalling Ds2 is in reception. Couldn't read or write when he started but now doing well. So op you can't be sure your reception aged child will just be average.

[oddgirl]

Ooh-Migrating-pass us a jammy dodger...

[seenitallbefore]

I have twin girls. Bottom reading/number groups all though junior school. Extra class help from Learning Support teacher. Roll forward 5 years. Now both 16. Both straight As in Int 2s(Scottish) and on course for a good bunch of Highers. Wish I hadn't wasted all these years worrying. Wish i had had that crystal ball. Wish someone had told me what I tell mums of little ones now. There is no rush. Sometimes it takes till their teens to knuckle down and do some good work. DH always said they would be fine....

[Ormirian]

Yay! I have a G&T 11yr old DD. An intelligent but supremely lazy 14yr old DS who is now distinctly average, and an 8yr old DS who is very sweet, funny and knowledgable but way behind the class in maths and writing - struggling to reach yr 2 levels.

[pinkhebe]

It's lovely to hear how some 'average' children have flourished in later years. I have a ds (8) who is decidedly average academically, especially in spelling, still struggles with high frequency words like 'where, there, what'. But he's a delight, and apart from with his brother, never argues with anyone or gets into trouble

[fruitshootsandheaves]

I got told off in DS2's(9) report for not reading to him enough!...but TBH I hate it. I am a bad mother. It's a battle, he hates it and makes excuses and we took a few months off. It really wasn't helping either of us but i know I should persevere. He is below average in all academic areas but way ahead in imagination, running fast and energy

[seenitallbefore]

Average is fine. Saving their energies for when it counts. Hope they are busy making pals,having fun,baking cakes,or whatever else. My twins still cant spell well-spellcheck computer a godsend .

[southofthethames]

I switch off when they talk about "levels"!! (yawn). Your children sound great.

Can one diagnose true dyspraxia at age 6??? At that age, children (esp boys) are still trying to get the hang of where their arms and legs are, adjusting to different heights (and centre of gravity) as they grow with each spurt....as someone with a background in human biology, I'd say don't be too quick to assume that those "labels" will stay with him for all of his school career. If it gives him access to more attention from the teacher with speaking and reading, good, but don't give up on his potential to achieve.
For what it's worth, I hope he's signed up for lots of sporty and active pursuits - games and sports outdoors, with lots of running and chasing, use of trampolines and tunnels, is very good to improving boys' coordination and the fun and activity is great for their confidence and concentration.
I do know a few boys who didn't start out dyspraxic or with any sort of diagnosis, but having a sedentary lifestyle and Sky tv + Xbox + Wii on tap the moment they got home (never saw them out in their massive garden playing) was not great.....they did eventually have serious academic and coordination problems at age 7 to 11, and it is only now being addressed when they are older.
Play acting at being a worm shows great creativity and imagination.....nothing wrong with that. None of my mates in class who went on to Cambridge/Oxford/law school etc could read or write at four either. I'd only worry if she still couldn't read or write properly at eight. Don't fret.

[seenitallbefore]

Fruitshoots-he sounds great fun. Lay off the chore of reading. Does he like football ? One of my sons read nothing until he discovered football . age 9 he then would read all there was about his team in the crappy local paper etc and then moved onto sports related novels. Not high quality stuff but it did at least mean he was reading. Still age 22 never reads for pleasure but has done very well academically anyway.