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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Original poster

Very disciplinary catholic or a diversal state primary school with lots of afterschool activities for a very temperamental boy?

30 replies

confusedperson · 28/05/2011 22:37

Hi! My boy is 3.2yo and I will be applying for the primaries this coming autumn. He is very active, energetic, loud, talkative, chatty, also sometimes bossy, temperamental and disobenient. We have two main good primary school options. One is catholic, known as very strict, lots of discipline, going to the church once in a week, excellent pass rates, no (or very limited) afterschool activities. Another is a state primary, slightly worse but still good pass rates, very diversal school, lots of afterschool activities for children. The catholic one would be a bit more convenient by location, but I really wonder if my boy would enjoy/obey the pressure in the catholic school. Any experiences or opinions here, please?

OP posts:
Elibean · 28/05/2011 22:39

which one do you think he would be happiest in? (btw, disobedient, temperamental and bossy sounds like the standard 3 yr old, IME Wink)

zanzibarmum · 28/05/2011 22:39

Go to the Catholic school if you are Catholic; if not, not.

Elibean · 28/05/2011 22:40

Also, I would vote for lots of afterschool activities - it was hard to imagine when dd1 was 3.2, but when you have an energetic 7.5 yr old its a godsend.

Goblinchild · 28/05/2011 22:43

Depends if you want him to be educated or crushed I suppose. Is he used to sitting still in church for 45 mins?
I'd go for the second choice. You make the other one sound like boot camp.

Original poster
confusedperson · 28/05/2011 22:54

I am Catholic and go to the church about once in a month, could go more if really wanted to get into the catholic school. The catholic school is closer to home, but only has occasional fairs and outings organised, oh and a Christmas choir :) no breakfast/afterschool clubs. The state school has breakfast/afterschool clubs, football, netball, hockey, tennis, gardening, dancing etc... activities. Everything you can wish for...
You could say that all 3yo are like that, but I know for sure that my one is extremelly temperamental... (not only my personal opinion)

OP posts:
Original poster
confusedperson · 28/05/2011 22:59

Goblinchild, he sits in the church quietly occupied with a pack of raisins :) and some drawing/children books, but still too young to be consciously quiet there.

OP posts:
Mabelface · 28/05/2011 23:00

The non catholic school sounds like far more fun.

Original poster
confusedperson · 28/05/2011 23:01

The state school is definitely more fun, but at the end of the day we want good results too...

OP posts:
Goblinchild · 28/05/2011 23:08

Both schools have good pass rates though, so you want the one that will engage and educate your energetic child. It depends whether you think boot camp or interesting and stimulating will achieve that best.
The only people who know that are you and him.

Mabelface · 28/05/2011 23:09

A child will learn more if they are enjoying the environment.

Goblinchild · 28/05/2011 23:13

Ask the schools what they would do with a child like yours if he was 'very active, energetic, loud, talkative, chatty, also sometimes bossy, temperamental and disobenient. ' in their reception class.
Look at the behaviour expectations in EY and what the consequences will be. Do you know anyone with children already in the schools?

southofthethames · 29/05/2011 10:44

Haha - my family and friends have had a certain kind of experience of our local (quite popular) Catholic school, but should point out this by no means applies to all Catholic schools. Basically, it was good for personalities who could toe the line, whether lively or quiet. Those who needed more patience, cajoling or encouragement didn't fare well at all. So I would be more inclined to vote for the other school. But you can't really judge without seeing the school for yourself. Why not visit both quite early and see what the headteacher and Reception teacher(s) say when you ask the question of dealing with temperaments that you describe - quite often the non-verbal reaction is more telling than the actual words they say!

mumtoaandj · 29/05/2011 11:32

we had the same decsion last year- we too are catholic. both schools are on the same road! my son possible has asd is to be diagnosed. the catholic school had much smaller classes which when i thought about it suited my son better- he practically gets 1:1 and craves attention, he would be lost in a large class and would have created and been naughtier. The school does not have a breakfast club but the state school s one does and the catholic school children can attend that. if he wants to plat football etc when older there is the leisure centre etc. all children from both schools mix at the local park-so he is not missing out on anything.
go inot both schools- look at class sizes- spot a child similar to yours see how they are doing!
personally, if you are a catholic then really you should try and get your child into a catholic school- we are a dieing faith round here!

puch · 31/05/2011 13:51

i am catholic and i would send my son to the catholic one as it is part of my faith but if you are only going to church once a month and not really bothered about your son making his first communion, confession etc i would send him to the other school as it sounds fab and your son would burn off all that excess energy. Bearing in mind some catholic schools want weekly attendance about 2 years prior to admissions!

twonker · 08/06/2011 23:24

Children can be overstimulated in schools with loads of different activities. A frind of mine recently moved her child from a school which seemed fabulous, in part because the staff were so busy with the extra curricular activities they weren't managing to ensure that children struggling with reading etc were given the extra help they needed.

I have a chaotic lifestyle, and my children are very happy in their ordered, calm, focussed, RC school.

Again, visit each school and plan to spend some time in each one to see what the feel of the school is. Trust your instincts.

Original poster
confusedperson · 21/07/2011 22:51

Coming back to the same topic... I called the catholic school asking when parents are allowed to visit - the lady over the phone said we don't do visits, just make an application through LEA when the time comes! I wonder if I got the wrong person on the phone or she was in a wrong mood!

OP posts:
seeker · 22/07/2011 09:09

There are no circumstances in which I would send a child of mine to a school that refused to let me visit - and visit on a normal school day of my choosing, not on a special open day.

Rearrange these words into a well known phrase or saying "barge touch don't it with pole touch a"!

ExpectoPatronum · 22/07/2011 10:59

might have missed something obvious here, but what are they 'passing' with these good pass rates? Are you in an 11+ area?

asecretlemonadedrinker · 22/07/2011 11:09

I'm a Catholic and even I think the other one sounds better! Having your child enjoy school is really first priority - you can instill discipline at home {allegedly Hmm} , do extra work to brush up marks at home... 2nd school sounds more well rounded.

asecretlemonadedrinker · 22/07/2011 11:15

you wont get good results from an unhappy child. I know it sounds extreme, but my son is in a school with... well, it's a new school so I have no idea of the scope for one of the 4 local grammars, but the school is lovely. I am going to get DS a tutor at some point to keep him up to scratch, mainly because he had most of his reception year ruined (other school) and alot of his class are english second language, though they do have gerat provision for them, I am still a wee bit concerned DS won't maybe be doing as well as another school. Anyway, my point is, you can put in the extra work. I mean, you can send him strict Catholic and then do all the extra curricular yourself, but... it sounds miserable.

Blu · 22/07/2011 11:28

Both schools are state schools - one is a faith school and one is a community primary.

You need to visit both and talk to other parents (if you can ) before deciding which one your DS will be happier in. I agree that being happy is of prime importance - happy as in enjoying learning, enjoying the whole school experience. But sometimes 'enjoying learning' involves giving boundaries...it's complex. You know your child, read the ofsteds, go and visit. If you will need after school and breakfast clubs for work, then that is a huge factor.

Original poster
confusedperson · 29/07/2011 10:51

I guess I have already decided in my heart to go with the non-catholic school. Just don't want to blame myself later if case he doesn't achieve well academically. But hopefully that can be resorted with additional tutoring.

OP posts:
Erebus · 29/07/2011 15:52

Fair comment, but you mustn't assume your DS would 'achieve well academically' at the RC school if he felt crushed, misunderstood or oppressed.

A good friend of mine chose the local RC school (as her DH is a lapsed RC!) but she said that she's been happy with it as it keeps her DC away from some rougher elements at the local primary; in her large Close there are DCs at several different schools so her DC weren't socially isolated BUT she also said the RC was staid and boring, and not particularly stimulating, and that she'd've had to have whipped a DC out of there quick smart had there been any suggestion of SEN as the RC just didn't do SEN!!

mathanxiety · 30/07/2011 16:40

I would choose the school with the smaller class sizes. That makes a big difference, imo. Another thing to look out for is teacher turnover/stability and leadership stability.

Sometimes children crave a more orderly environment by the time they reach 6 or 7 even if they are hell on wheels at 3. Sometimes having a convivial atmosphere and clubs that create a sense of belonging are what's important. A lot can change in a year of a child's life.

mummytime · 01/08/2011 07:59

Just because a school has a good pass rate doesn't mean your child will pass or even do their best there , sorry but that is a fact that we often over look. In fact with the Catholic school I would really like to see the breakdown of the figures for boys versus girls. It could be the girls are doing much better. Alternatively there are schools who "bend" the rules on SATs tests (my DD is horrified on hearing how one local school to us does the spelling and Maths tests). It could even be (like private schools) that those who don't get on with the system leave.