Is 20 minutes each way too far to travel?

[mckenzie]

DD is currently in the local state primary (year 1) which is a 5 minute walk away. DS is at the local prep school (year 5), 5 minutes drive away.

I've been today to look at a new school for DD and it is fabulous. Faultless really except that it will take me 15/20 minutes to get there every morning, slightly longer to get back and then 15/20 minutes again each way in the afternoon.
DH takes DS currently and even if DH was away it should be doable because of the different start times. The different finishing times mean home time is doable too.

But is it madness to spend that much time driving too and from school? Or does the quality of the school justify it?

Your thoughts gratefully received.

TIA

If you don't find the drive stressful, it is ok. My car journey in primary school was 20-25 min each way. Mum and I were very relaxed. Some years had a school bus, journey was 50-60 minutes. Learnt to do homework on the bus (oops) - still got it right and handed in on time! (walking would mean I couldn't do that) :-p I think the main concern is not the time but whether that route gets traffic jams, reckless rush hour drivers, or whether it's a pleasant drive. Wouldn't worry about snow -snow will be a problem if you walk too...if they are big main roads mainly, they will be gritted and clear because of frequent use. (the school could be closed too)

It's not whether or not the drive is stressful or not. Mine is a delightful route through country lanse. Practically never any traffic except theoccasional tractor, loads to see and talk about, lambs, ducklings, blossom, horses, a river - the whole "Country Living" bit. But school is still 6 miles and 15 minutes away and all the other problems I talked about apply.

15 mins drive each way for us and there are quite a few other kids in our village that do the same. Commute for senior school will be an hour each way.

We consider it well worth it for the education/pastoral care/sport she is getting.

The only thing that bugs me that having driven 15 mins to school I have to drive right back past home to go 15 mins in the other direction to work!

I would hate the thought of a school that had to be driven to, full stop. Like someone else pointed out, what if you're sick & cant drive? What if no one else lives in your direction? What about the sense of community? We're feeling on the edge of things as it is, at a 15 min walk away!

Thanks again for all these posts and your views. i really do appreciate it. I'm going to look at another more local school on Monday. I can mull over your comments until then at least.

My journey is about 30 minutes, and I can still work because my work is close to the school! My dd likes to get her homework done during the journey, so leaves plenty of time to fit in the missed exercise from not walking :)
I think you just have to do what is right for you, if you are really keen on the school you will get used to the journey. The idea to try it out for awhile is good.

Well DS and I cycle 20 minutes each way to get to school and back, so I don't think 20 minutes is too far to travel to school.

20min-2 hours on the bus for the child is one thing... The children often enjoy the extended socialisation time. And if it's 2 hours, I assume the school covers you for forgotten lunches, PE kit and etc.! But 40 min. for the adult, twice or more often a day... that's quite another commitment.

I assume you mean 20 mins in the car.

Where I live, a 20-min drive would take me to about 50 different schools so that makes my mind boggle.

I wouldn't do it myself, unless it were the only school (ie I lived in the middle of the country 6 miles from a school- but then I wouldn't do that either).

Just remember it's there and back, then there and back again; then for after school clubs; or for parents' evenings, playdates, concerts, assemblies, summer fairs, etc etc.

DD atm is in a show in a nearby town - about 20 mins' drive away in fact. We were impressed with the group when she did similar last year, and can't find anything suitable for her age group locally; but virtually everyone else doing it is from the town, and I have to say the travel is a right PITA. It's twice a week just now and thank goodness the show is at half term!

We are sending our DS to a school that is 20 minutes drive away (he's been offered a place at an Ofsted rated 'Outstanding school' that is 5 mins away). However he'll be able to get the bus when he's a bit older.

Ultimately, if the school is far better than nearby schools, then IMO it is worth travelling for it.

I am in Nottm and do roughly 20 minutes each way for my children's school. I've been doing it for almost a year now and have to get there early in the afternoon for parking. I work in the waiting time on a BlackBerry so that the time "counts" and isn't wasted. In the morning the children either listen to music with me or read. On the way home though they fight like buggers! I have noticed the increased cost in petrol though.

A huge part of school life is the friends, parties, park - all the fun stuff. If your child can't play with her friends after school it doesn't matter how good the school is, she will eb missing out.

Put yourself in a child's head. All the kids who live neart you don't go to your school. All the kids who go to your school have an after school life that you're not part of. Neither of these are good things.

OK read the thread now.

I agree with seeker, 20 mins may be a typical walk to school in UK, but it's surely far from a typical drive. I live in a small city and walk 7 mins to nearest school; other walkable options include 3 up to 20-25 mins away.

I don't think that's unusual in any big settlement, which is, let's face it, the kind of place most people live in (by definition). A 20 minute drive is about six to 15 miles (based on the fact that I drive or cycle six miles to work and it takes me 20 mins in the car; but if I went in another direction, ir up the dual carriageway not round the ring road, I could get a lot further) which for most people in the UK would cover a lot of primary schools.

I think the "walking home alone" argument is such a cogent one. I have only realised this as my DC have got older - DS1 walked to school from yr 6, more conifident DD has walked alone or with a pal since the end of yr 4. It's fab - indepence and confidence. Totally impossible, never ever ever possible with a 20-min drive.

What I did find annoying was that my closest school friends all lived miles away so I rarely saw them outside school. you said it madamdeathstare - that was my situation in secondary and I hated it.

Yes seeker - some kids come from another area of town to our school for a number of reasons - it's 3-4 miles so they all drive - so they are never seen out at Beavers, on the park, playing out etc. I really think they miss out.

My teenage dd goes to a school 15 miles away from home. Her best friend lives 15 miles the other way. No publi transport. If they want to see each other uoutside school, then somebody has to do 2 60 mile round trips!

@seeker - that's tough for your teenage DD. I don't mind a 6 mile drive through idyllic countryside myself though. Am hoping parents of DC friends won't be so fussy..... FWIW, friends coming to the birthday parties so far have driven on the M25 for one hour just to attend it! (I suppose it's different if the parents are friends, as opposed to just the children being friends.) Granted, if they are weekday parties that might be harder. It depends on the community. If you live somewhere where long drives are par for the course, that doesn't matter so much. Ultimately, it's up to OP.

We should also bear in mind the ever increasing cost of petrol/diesel as Messrs Cameron and Osborne seek to tax more things to plug national deficit.

southofthethames - of course it's up to the OP!

But as someone who has actually done this for 6 years now, I am in a good position to say tht it is not good for either children or parents to live a swignificant drive away from school. Children do miss out in all the ways I and others have detailed, it's no point saying they don't. And it's a pain in the neck for the family as a whole. Apart from anything else, I have driven over 200 miles this week already - and used nearly 80 quid's worth of diesel!

thank you again for all of these replies. In all honesty, I hadn't thought about the local school friends issue .

I do know of at least 3 other families within a half mile radius of our home that send their daughters to the school and they have already offered help with travel if needed sometimes.

As far as the independence of walking to school goes, the other parents that i know say that they park in a residential road and walk to the school (as there is only one entrance in and out of the school for the cars it gets quite busy with parents who want to drop off right at the school door) so DD would perhaps still have the option of doing that walk by herself when she is older.
I'm not concerned about the exercise issue as DD is very active away from school and gets plenty of exercise in other ways.
The petrol cost issue is something that we would make ourselves afford if we decide on this school. I drive a fairly economical car thankfully .

I think the issue about having local school friends is playing on my mind the most. I really appreciate the issue about if I'm ill etc too but we are lucky to have the offer from the local mums, also i am lucky to have in laws close by and DH is self employed so should usually be able to step in if needed.

I am also a tad concerned about the issue of having to get out of the door much earlier but we had the same change to make when DS moved schools last year. We used to all leave at 8.40 for the short walk to school but now DS leaves at 8.05 for the 5 minute drive (DH drips him on his way to work). But DD and I would need to leave at the same time - how well will I cope with the pressure of getting us all out of the door so early?

Anyway, thanks again, i really do appreciate different points of view and I shall ask DH to read this over the weekend so he can take these views into account too.

My ds1's nursery school is a 15/20 minute walk away. Which I can do fine. It takes him 45 minutes to walk there and 45 mins back, it can be a PITA, but it's the closest school to us.

15 minutes walk is very different fro 15 minutes in the car.

Hi I've been mulling over this same issue for a while, contemplating changing from a 7 minute walk to a 20 minute drive. I accept it would be inconvenient for me. However, I'm much less concerned about the possible impact on social live for my children. In our case, the school we're considering is so good it attracts children from a very wide area. Thus, most of the children do not live in the "neighbourhood" and I think our children won't feel the odd ones out. Admittedly, they will be going to a different school as our neighbours' children but that's almost inevitable since most of the people who live near us send their children to many different schools. It would, of course, be ideal if everyone in the neighbourhood agreed to send their children to the same, lovely, local school so we could build a sense of community for our children but possibly because of the abundance of options in London (or perhaps because of the obsessions of parents to find the "best" school for our children) -- it just doesn't happen.

OP if your situation is similar ie if the school you're considering attracts children from a wide area and if your neighbors' children go to a variety of different schools -- then I would focus your deliberation on whether you yourself feel able to make the drive(s) each day and not on the social impact for your children.

Good luck!