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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

my poor boy :(

48 replies

loosinas · 31/03/2011 11:49

i dont know if this is the right place to post this really but im desperate for some opinions ! my son started reception last september (2010) and hes just CONSTANTLY exhausted
I thought he would get more used to the demands of the school day but he's struggling. he's a good boy, the only time hes naughty is when he's over tired generally and the last two nights we've had the mother of all tantrums cos hes been falling asleep in his dinner...
he is snotty and sticky eyed at the moment which doc has put down to hay fever but she has assured me that the meds are non drowsy and this was a problem before that..
its impacting everything.. our quality time at the weekend... he doesnt want to read his reading book or practice his sight words as hes shattered..
he comes in.. wants his comfort blanket and to suck his fingers and sits on the sofa..
he will perk up for a bit some nights if he's distracted playing a board game or something..
he's getting a lot of sleep.. 7-7 more often than not
do i go to the doctor and voice my concern or is this something he will grow out of ?
thanks !

OP posts:

IngridBergmann · 31/03/2011 11:54

When ours was like this, we took him out. And sent him back in yr1!

Sometimes they are just not cut out for school yet. Poor lamb

is the school very oversubscribed? If not the place may well still be available in sept.

IngridBergmann · 31/03/2011 11:56

Ours used to come home, crying from tiredness, fall asleep on the sofa by 4pm, wake at 10pm wanting food, not be able to get up in the morning.

We did agree half days with the school for long past everyone else, but school got fed up with it and wanted three full days instead and he didn't cope well with that. So took him out.

You have to put your child first sometimes, not the one size fits all thing.
Good luck

ttalloo · 31/03/2011 12:03

As this has been going on since September I would take him to the doctor for a check-up, just to be on the safe side.

In the meantime, does he nap at weekends? DS1 (4) is at pre-school three days a week, and sleeps 11 hours a night, but at weekends he invariably dozes off in the car after lunch, which seems to help recharge his batteries.

Also, is your DS happy at school? Have his teachers commented on his alertness and concentration levels?

everlong · 31/03/2011 12:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Acanthus · 31/03/2011 12:08

Give him multivitamins while you think it over.

TheVisitor · 31/03/2011 12:37

As soon as I got the kids home, I'd give them a glass of milk and a banana. This would keep them going long enough to have a play and eat their tea. They'd then be in bed for 6.30pm.

marge2 · 31/03/2011 12:47

Poor little thing. We had a child development expert come into our school to givethe Reception parents a talk on 'how to support your child when starting school'. She listed the typical problems children experience.
Examples...

Not being able to manage the loo by them selves.
Not being able to manage to feed themselves lunch.
not being able to get changed for PE by themselves.
Being overly tired.
not being able to concentrate
Not being able to sit still for long.

My DS is July born so he was majorly flaked out by the end of the day.

I thought about these problems and asked the question..
"Doesn't this list basically indicate that we start kids in school too early in this Country?" and lots of the other parents made agreeing noises. The expert totally agreed with me which was obviouslynot what the Head Mistress wanted to hear. She looked thunderous as she had been giving it the 'you'd be surprised how well they cope' line. However the Head only sees the kids during the school day and doesn't have to put up with the exhausted tantrum once they get back to Mum.

Hope you sort it out for your son.

Purplefi · 31/03/2011 12:53

Maybe a dr.s check up, but could be normal triedness too, coming to end of term and after all winter with bugs going around, and he's still young. They just get worn out. I'd be tempted to keep him off for a day or two, as he sounds lethargic bordering on not quite getting over something, if he would rest, nap, veg on the sofa and see what he's like then. If he would just bounce around then theres no point I'd send him to school. Early nights and miss the homework stuff for now until better, if he's that tired he won't take it in anyway, so not worth battling over.

blackeyedsusan · 31/03/2011 13:52

do you give him a snack when he gets home?

when is his birthday?

stuff the reading if he is too tired, he isn't going to learn when tired anyway.

can he go to bed half an hour earlier or have a nap when he gets home?

dd is exhausted by school. she often falls asleep in the car.

IngridBergmann · 31/03/2011 14:01

I remember starting a similar thread actually, back in those days and surprisingly a lot of people said the same: Is he unwell? Take him for a check up'. Well, there was nothing wrong with him.
He was just massively overstimulated mentally, having to remember new rules, where things were, what to do.

It was like coming home from a huge party where you've spoken to millions of people and you just cannot wind down...you have to mentally process everything that's happened all day.

A few months soled the problem for us - I always gave him a snack after school, in the car, but it wasn't enough to combat the total wipeout!

Mentally even rather than physically. It's a long and busy day for someone who isn't long past 3 years old.

So I agree with Marge!

IngridBergmann · 31/03/2011 14:03

It was like coming home from a huge party where you've spoken to millions of people and you just cannot wind down...you have to mentally process everything that's happened all day.

A few months solved the problem for us, when he returned in the autumn he was much, much more able to cope in every way. From remembering to EAT all day, and drink enough, and go to the loo, to just having more stamina.

I always gave him a snack after school, in the car, in case it was just low blood sugar, but it wasn't enough to combat the total wipeout!

Mentally even rather than physically. It's a long and busy day for someone who isn't long past 3 years old.

So I agree with Marge!

IngridBergmann · 31/03/2011 14:04

ah sorry, blooming pc is installing some updates so it posted instead of previewed...apologies.

BoysAreLikeDogs · 31/03/2011 14:12

end of term itis too

my youngest was like this

he had his tea at 4.30 then shower teeth and bed, slept 5 pm to 7am pretty much all of the reception year

poor wee sausages, they are so little

FourFortyFour · 31/03/2011 14:15

It wouldn't hurt to go to the doctor and ask for a check up.

In our school the younger children don't do full time in mid-January. The head agreed with me that the children start school too young.

Oneandnomore · 31/03/2011 14:20

Aww bless him.

Dd was exactly like this, and she improved lots this time last year when the better weather meant she could play out more at school,more fresh air and less time in class having to concentrate!

Second the multi vit. I know its early, but would he go to bed for 6pm? DD is often in bed at this time and sleeps 13 hours!

Try a snack straight after school, have an activity ready for him to come home to while you are cooking dinner, then bath and bed. Try and keep him going instead of napping at 4. I do know how difficult this is.

Ask his teacher to keep an eye on how much he is drinking in class, and encourage him to remember. This can help.

As Ingrid says, DD is much better this school year.

yodelayheehoo · 31/03/2011 14:31

My 5 year old DD went straight into year 1 last September and she was much the same up until Christmas. It was down to being completely worn out! She had a nice break at Christmas and has seemed much better ever since. I would check that he's eating his lunch and that it is as healthy as possible to keep him going in the afternoon and also check with the teachers that he is drinking water throughout the day. Forget any homework, just read with him for pleasure/relaxation. Also if possible have dinner ready and give it to him as soon as he gets home. Hope he feels better soon, poor mite. I'm sure he will feel a bit fresher after the Easter break .

IngridBergmann · 31/03/2011 18:33

Four, our HT agreed too that they start too young - which is incredible as she is THE most difficult to pin down person on the planet. My thought would be that she would back the system in full. But she doesn't.

The thing she said to me was that she thinks starting as young as they do is of no benefit. BUT when all their peers are starting at four, it benefits them to do the same in terms of results, socialising, all of it really.

So if more of us take a stand against this, it won't be so weird to send our children later (ds2 is going in the summer term I think, not september, though I have just accepted his place) and more children will be free to spend a little bit longer growing up before they have to hit the conveyor belt!

A year makes SUCH a difference, it's unbelievable.

Smum99 · 31/03/2011 18:49

Just reading this thread makes me realise how different children are. My ds is completely opposite and he's not tired at all from school. I would love for him to sleep more. I suspect that whilst he's energetic at school he doesn't "work" too hard so not mentally tired, I do wonder of that's the difference.

I have noticed however that this week he slightly less lively so I think the end of term feelings are kicking in.

Jezabelle · 31/03/2011 20:20

It's only a few days until the end of term. Think I'd just keep him home if you can. Say he's ill, (not far from truth). Then he gets 2 weeks off so lots of early nights and chilled out days.

If you're concerned about the reading thing, try doing it in the morning before school.

supersewer · 31/03/2011 20:50

my dd is in year 2 and is still a bit like this, we changed meal times, I met her on the playground with a carbo loading snack and gritted my teeth, everytime she has a growth spurt she is able to cope a little bit bettter. We also minimise activities in the short school holidays and just use these as a chance to recharge ( for mummy too!)
Hang in there:)

AbigailS · 31/03/2011 21:03

My two are like this by the last few weeks at end of term, but it must be so tough on him being all the time. Poor thing. It's not unheard of with children in reception and higher up the school, but it doesn't make it any easier. It is probably just his "readiness" to be in fulltime school, but just a quick though... how is his eating during the day at school? Children can get very busy, etc. at school and not eat all their snacks and lunch, and this can't help. Also does he drink enough water? I'd pop in and have a quick chat with the teacher to keep them in the loop. They might have some ideas and it helps to know if a child is behaving out of character, so adjustments might be made at school. As a teacher I'd feel upset on your and your child's behalf and feel sad that my class was having such an effect on him. I'd really want to know and try and help, if I could.
Hang on in there and roll on Easter holidays!

Ormirian · 31/03/2011 21:08

Forget the sight words and the reading. What matters right now is his getting used to school and being part of a class.

Poor baby

Is he getting enough to drink? That can make you feel tired too.

MigratingCoconuts · 31/03/2011 21:11

My dd is still a bit like this in year 1. reception was a lot like you describe. There were times when I had to just guide her to bed and plonk her in. She would become utterly unreasonable and inconsolable. She is a late June birth...

donnie · 31/03/2011 21:18

my dd2 is in year 1 and still knackered by the end ofthe day! she is a May birthday. Sometimes she is a bit tantrummy, other times just quiet and subdued at the end of the day - but I think tiredness is a realy issue for infant age children in this country.

Scholes34 · 31/03/2011 21:18

Half-days are a good idea. In Foundation Stage, they should be play based, but will be learning to read. The majority of "work" in the afternoon should be play, so shouldn't be a problem to miss it, though DS might start to feel he's missing things socially. Anyway, the odd half day won't hurt. Share the problem with the school and explain what you'd like to do and why. They've probably experienced this with other children.

Bananas and milk are good. Frozen bananas and milk blended into a milkshake
in the summer are excellent!

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