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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Give me tips to deal with the playground blankers!

59 replies

TooTiredToArgue · 29/03/2011 18:15

Well, title says it all really. Am fed up with dealing with mothers in the playground who are nice one day, and blank me the next. What's their problem - why can't people be consistent?

I know this subject has been covered before, but I'm really interested to hear of other experiences in the playground. I would class myself as friendly and quite chatty, but I'm really struggling....

OP posts:

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gabid · 02/04/2011 18:52

maggiethecat - exactly, making eye contact, smiling, its enought to just acknowledge seeing a person you know. I often don't really want to chat but I still look at them, smile and walk on. Its the looking the other way or turning away what annoys and confuses me - still don't get it.

skewiff · 02/04/2011 19:43

Oh - maybe everyone is just really friendly at DS's nursery then.

Perhaps I'll discover this when he starts school - hope not though.

mrsbiscuits · 04/04/2011 10:42

Ok hold on for a moment....we are all guilty of "blanking" people even if we think we are not. I am usually a happy chatty outgoing person. but there are days when I either am knackered, have alot on my mind, need to get to work or my kids are playing up. On these days I just want to do the school run - get in and get out without putting the world to rights with half the parents there. People really shouldn't take offence , 9 times out of 10 in won't be about you it will be about something entirely unrelated. Yes if this person is a close friend who you socialise with away from the school gates then pull them on it - maybe they are having a bad day ....other than that just treat it as what it is, a buncn of people picking up and dropping of their kids not a major social event.

AllTheGoodOnesAreTaken · 04/04/2011 11:04

mrsbiscuits everyone does that from time to time but that's not what the OP is talking about. There's a huge difference between blanking people and just being harrassed.

mrsbiscuits · 04/04/2011 11:13

Yes I see what you mean AllTheGoodOnesAreTaken but I think I am guilty of both and all I was trying to say was that if and when I am it is usually about what is going on with me and not about whether I like or dislike the other person :)

homeagain · 04/04/2011 11:23

Well I just don't get why people think it's OK to leave their manners at the school gate. We've just arrived in a new area and so had a big birthday party for our son so we wouldn't leave anyone out by mistake. One mother didn't bother replying until the morning of the party, and then came over to say her daughters couldn't come. I started to say 'What a shame' but she just turned her back on me and walked away. And nobody speaks. It's absolutely bizarre. They had a concert on Friday, and a lovely lady who goes in to do choir out of the goodness of her heart just watched as all the parents of the choir members walked past without a word. Nobody bothered to thank her for all she does for their children. For free. Bet they'll be the first to complain, though, if she just gets fed up and decides she can't be bothered anymore. Am really fed up with how spiteful and childish it all feels. How much effort does it really take to smile and say hello? Or thank you?

3isthemagicnumber · 04/04/2011 11:26

I think I may blank people occasionally, after seeming friendly before, but it comes very much from my own insecurities I'm afraid.
So, I may have chatted to another Mum one day but if she looks busy or is talking to somebody else or does not really look in my direction then I will not necessarily approach her for fear that she is not wanting to get 'caught' by me.
Pathetic I know but sadly truthful.

Original poster

TooTiredToArgue · 04/04/2011 11:31

Thanks, everyone, for your comments.

Mrsbiscuits, I see you point about being busy/hassled. I often am too.
AlltheGoodOnes you've hit the nail on the head.

Homeagain I agree with you too. A simple 'thank you' takes so little time and I bet would have meant a lot to that lady.

I admit I am a bit over-sensitive at times and need to grow a thicker skin. I'm never going to be Mrs Popular in the playground, and that's fine. And neither do I see the school run as a major social event - perish the thought! But I generally just try to be pleasant and sometimes it feels like I'm banging my head against a brick wall.

OP posts:

homeagain · 04/04/2011 11:41

I'm venting more than I should, I expect. And I'm sure I've walked past people because I'm hopeless with faces. But if I recognise someone I smile and say hello. I always mind being ignored in the playground, and when you're trying to get kids settled in a new place it's doubly hard. I just don't understand why people who presumably are perfectly pleasant outside of the playground become so extraordinarily unfriendly inside it, and think that that's OK.

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