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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

What is exceptional?

67 replies

thecaptaincrocfamily · 15/03/2011 00:18

At parents evening dd1 was described as exceptional in literacy and I have no idea what exactly this means!

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

myredcardigan · 17/03/2011 21:31

Oh yes, I get when will the dinosaurs come back alive question all the time? DS (7) had told her a meteor hit the Earth and killed them and she started asking how the 'meat' got in the sky in the first place! I could just see she was imagining this enormous meatball hurtling to the Earth!

myredcardigan · 17/03/2011 21:33

Just to add, it's a difficult year to judge too. In Nursery, DS was streets ahead. He's now Y2 and whilst he's still bright, lots of others have caught up. They just needed time to mature.

frantic51 · 17/03/2011 21:37

My DD2 asked me at the age of 6, "Where did Cain's wife come from?" Being at a Catholic school she also scandalised a teaching monk at the age of 8 by saying, "It's all very well being against contraception, but what about all these poor babies being born in Africa with AIDS? I don't think God would like that, it's not the fault of the poor babies after all!" She's now 16 and, although one of the brighter ones in her year group, not what you'd call exceptional.

pointythings · 17/03/2011 22:10

frantic51 @ your DD2, how absolutely hilarious!

My DD2 has been described as 'talented' by her teacher in writing and maths, but I don't think she's exceptional - she's about 2 years ahead of her age group, just like DD1, the schools are handling it well and keeping them working hard and happily and that's all I want, really.

PixieOnaLeaf · 17/03/2011 23:28

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singersgirl · 18/03/2011 08:32

Perhaps though since the teacher of the OP's child has actually met the child, taught the child and observed the child's abilities, we shouldn't be so quick to say (as everyone always does on here) "Oh, that's nothing special" while quickly adding in all the very advanced things our own children did as examples of average children. It seems to me that the 'average' Mumsnetters child is in the G@T groups at school, reading fluently on starting reception and does algebra for fun at about 5 .

To the OP: if the teacher thinks she's exceptional, she probably is - at least in the context of that class, that school and that teacher's experience.

I was once flamed on here for saying that my DS2's Reception teacher said she had 'never seen anything like' (his reading) and lots of people pointed out to me that it was actually very ordinary and nowhere near as advanced as their children who were in fact not very advanced anyway. But it as that teacher's professional opinion (in her case, historical fact) and in your daughter's case, it's her teacher's professional opinion. So I'd ignore the bunch of strangers online and go back and ask her what she means.

Gottakeepchanging · 18/03/2011 08:37

I met a reception child reading Harry potter last week (and understanding it)

That is exceptional.

If they can read say the owl who was afraid of the dark- unusual and able but not exceptional.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 18/03/2011 08:40

Yes I'd agree with the poster who said that working 4-5yr+ above their age group would be exceptional - and that kind of ties in with the SATS levels too.

For example a child in YR2 that reaches level 4 in any subject would be "exceptional" by SATS standards. A child in YR6 that was level 4 would be "at level expected"

And yes I agree with Seeker again there are lots of bright children at state schools - I also have one

Pagwatch · 18/03/2011 08:46

I agree with you to a point singers girl but to be fair the issue has become very muddled by a number of factors in recent years.

The gifted and talented label is giving children with perfectly normal range ability some kind of cred amongst parents who see fairly average children and wonder if their child may be gifted too.
We seem also to have lost the ability to recognise that ahead of peers at age 6 has fuck all to do with what the situation may be at 10 or 11.
And we seem to be creating an environment where bright =happy and successful and is the result if a caring parent. So very bright must = even happier and more successful and a really fabulous parent. Which is nonsense.
An average child is just as likely to be happy, possibly more likely, than a genuinely gifted child. Yet it has become a club many parents feel their child should enter.

I think the reaction is in part a result of all of that nonsense.

singersgirl · 18/03/2011 08:59

Maybe that's true, Pagwatch. I truly don't see that link between 'academically advanced' and 'caring parent', though.

Pagwatch · 18/03/2011 09:11

Then you are very lucky.

If you have never encountered the bragging, 'what reading book is your child on, well we read her all the time when she was small and actually I was quite advanced at that age and tbh I couldn't live in a house with no books and we started her with a few French words pre school because introducing a language early helps and I make sure the house is calm andcquiet for music practice and we had to move to get her into an outstanding school but ultimately it is all worth it'. ... Then you have managed far better than I.
I have met loads of those.

And of course the flip side ' her toddler isn't talking but then the tv is always on and she doesn't talk to him much...'

If you have avoided those then many congratulations

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 18/03/2011 09:29

Pagwatch - I've met those (of both sides) as well.

Pagwatch · 18/03/2011 09:52

I have met loooooooads.
I could write a book.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 18/03/2011 09:56

- mind as a "TV on all day when they were little" and a "don't really do any extra curicular stuff" I like meeting those parents as I can sit there and smugly say "no DS2 is just bright - nothing to do with me" (I think DS1 is as well but I need to see if the rocket his teacher has put up his arse carries on working before I can say he is )

singersgirl · 18/03/2011 09:57

Oh, I've met loads of those - and the reverse (I posted recently about how someone once quizzed me on what I had done to make my 20 month old speak so well!) I just didn't equate that with 'caring'; I equated it with 'unrealistic', 'ridiculously unbalanced' and 'WTF'. But then we live in a house that is never calm and quiet and where a lot of TV is watched.

Pagwatch · 18/03/2011 10:23

Singers.

You do understand that I am talking about how those parents see their imput. Not how I see it

I am with Baroque. I refuse to takecresponsibility for ds2s sn so I can't make claim to ds1s very bright or dds arty fartiness.

It's only reasonable.

singersgirl · 18/03/2011 10:30

Yes, I did . Which is why I don't take responsibility (other than the genetic lottery) for DS2's precocity in some areas and DS1's complete ditziness (currently being assessed for who knows what dysfunction).

Pagwatch · 18/03/2011 10:34

That should be an actual thing.

I get tired of explaining asd and ocd and sensory issues.

I am just going to start saying
" yes. This is ds2 . He has whoknowswhat dysfunction"

I love that. Can I keep it, can I, can I?

PixieOnaLeaf · 18/03/2011 11:28

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singersgirl · 18/03/2011 11:40

Pixie, that's not quite right. What you said to the OP was, "This is what I think is exceptional". Jointly and severally. So your answer is not necessarily any more valid than the teacher's .

Pag, by all means keep WhoKnowsWhat Dysfunction. You might like to capitalise it and run it together to give it gravitas.

PixieOnaLeaf · 18/03/2011 11:43

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PixieOnaLeaf · 18/03/2011 11:43

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myredcardigan · 18/03/2011 11:45

G&T in school is utter nonsense in my experience as they are expected to label a small percentage at the top. So of course, a child may be labelled G&T at one school and not even be in the most able group in another.

Truly gifted children are rare. Really rare. In 20yrs of teaching I have only come across one. Very bright, able children are far more ten a penny which is good. I'd far rather my childrern were bright than gifted.

I have two very able children and my third who is probably average to slightly above average. She doesn't give a shi*t and so far, is the happiest and most content of the 3.

JemimaMop · 18/03/2011 11:55

DS2 was described as exceptional by his headteacher when he had not long turned 5 and they had found him reading a teacher's planning guide on how to give assemblies. He also read an instruction leaflet for something which was in a language that although he spoke he hadn't been taught to read in yet. The exceptional comment was followed by "I have never seen anything quite like him and to be honest with you we're not quite sure what to do with him!"

To put it in context though we are a family of readers, so it wasn't that suprising to me that he could read well and early. It didn't make much difference to anything else, he is pretty average at maths and writing and still can't ride a bike without stabilisers aged almost 7. His headteacher has only ever taught at small village schools and so doesn't have the widest frame of reference.

All credit to the school they did seem to work out what to do with him and he is happy as long as they let him read King Arthur in peace

He is one for asking strange questions about the meaning of life too, usually when he is supposed to be doing something else. He goes to Sunday School though and has a wonderfully patient teacher who will chat to him for hours about why different people believe different things.

BaroqueAroundTheClock · 18/03/2011 12:03

I guess that depends on how your define "gifted" (or talented" though myredcardigan. IMO a gift or talented child doesn't have to be exceptional all round. They just have to have one particular area that they excel in.

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