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Original poster

What is gay?

163 replies

Supermumz · 17/02/2011 13:18

DS aged 8 asked me the meaning of gay. Picked it from school I think.. What do I tell him? Do your kids know?

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TrillianAstra · 17/02/2011 13:37

Gay is when boys have boyfriends and girls have girlfriends.

Some people use it as a name-calling word or to mean 'rubbish' but they are wrong and silly.

exexpat · 17/02/2011 13:37

x is short for cross eg 'I cross-posted with pixie saying the same thing'

Original poster
Supermumz · 17/02/2011 13:38

PixieOnaLeaf, I know it is the truth.. but dont you think it is confusing when kids first know about it?
If I tell him now, I'm sure he will be like - WHAT !!!! And yes, like Anice has mentioned, my aim will be not to get him too interested in that subject !

OP posts:
exexpat · 17/02/2011 13:40

supermumz, I think you are projecting your own feelings on to him. Children that age are still finding out about all sorts of things, so it will probably just be another weird fact about grown-ups that he has to absorb.

exexpat · 17/02/2011 13:41

I think DD was five or six when the deputy head 'came out' to the children (most of the parents knew already), and DS was 9 or 10. They didn't seem particularly bothered or interested, certainly not freaked out.

MooMooFarm · 17/02/2011 13:42

Supermumz 'too interested' in what way?

Assuming you mean sex in general (I hope), I've always found it's the things you don't tell them which seem 'mysterious' which they get interested in. The more open you are, the less they will see it as a big exciting taboo subject IMO.

PixieOnaLeaf · 17/02/2011 13:47

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Plonker · 17/02/2011 13:48
Confused

But it's just fact. How can he become 'too' interested just because he now knows what it is?

I have a policy with my dc's to answer q's as and when they arise in a way that's easy for them to understand. They know all the different meanings for 'Gay' and are not too interested at all.

They're too busy asking me other things that have caught their attention that day ...

RealityIsKnockedUp · 17/02/2011 13:49

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RealityIsKnockedUp · 17/02/2011 13:50

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LadyGlencoraPalliser · 17/02/2011 13:50

OP you sound bizarre. Have you really managed to bring your DS up to the the age of 8 not realising that same-sex relationships are just as much of a possibility as opposite-sex ones? Don't you think its about time you took the blinkers off and had a look around at the real world?

MooMooFarm · 17/02/2011 13:52

Ha all of you who posted after me have made me laugh (nearly said lol - sorry Blush). I spent ages (ok well minutes) working out how to word my post asking what OP meant by 'too interested', and after that you've all just got stuck right in there Grin

Original poster
Supermumz · 17/02/2011 13:54

At the moment I dont even think he knows about sex, reproduction etc.. He still thinks that babies come when when two people are married... The only thing that (I think) he knows between a girl & boy is kissing !

I know you all think I am one old mum.. just dont know how to get started on things like this ! But I know I have to do it.. sometime.. sometime soon !

OP posts:
lospolloshermanos · 17/02/2011 13:55

my parents used to tell me happy, out of embarassment I think

then I found out what it actually meant, even more embarassment :(

the truth, if they found out what you've told them is not true they will be angry.

MooMooFarm · 17/02/2011 13:57

Ok. so you just go with explaining it at whatever level you know your child will understand. Ie if all he knows about is kissing, tell him it's when a man wants to kiss another man rather than a woman, or vice-versa. He won't explode with shock, honestly, unless you tell him with a cats-bum-mouth on!

MooMooFarm · 17/02/2011 13:58

But los - it does mean happy too! That was, and still is the original meaning of the word. It comes up all the time in the Magic Faraway Tree book I'm reading to mine ATM.

Original poster
Supermumz · 17/02/2011 13:59

I know I know.. I just feel embarassed now, with all your replies :)
'Too interested' is defn a very naive comment from my part ..

OP posts:
crazygracieuk · 17/02/2011 14:09

I've only heard gay (meaning lame) used by secondary school children. Would others agree?

I have a son in Y5 and when the word gay is used it means homosexual/lesbian.

exexpat · 17/02/2011 14:12

No, the teenage usage of gay has definitely trickled down to primary round here.

MooMooFarm · 17/02/2011 14:13

I remember when my eldest son was in yr 5 or 6, he was walking home in front of me with his friend, who called him 'gay' for saying something daft.

My son said 'you sad git, I might decide to be gay one day so you won't want to come and use my playstation anymore will you!'

I was so proud Grin

Blu · 17/02/2011 14:22

Don't worry - he doesn't need to know abou sex and reproduction in order to absorb the 'boys having boyfriends' info, because the most important thing about knowing about gay relationships is that it is an emotional loving relationship - same as thinking about straight relationships.

And if he does ask if they can be Dads, tell him that 2 men can't give birth to a baby together, but there sre lots of different ways to make a family, such as adoption or maybe having a Mummy who does the 'in the tummy' bit and then 2 dads to do the making breakfast, helping with homework, taking to the park and living at home with bit.

Re sex; I would say 'it's hard thing f children to understand because it's a grown up thing, but when grown ups are in love they have sex not just to have babies but to show their love. Men who love each other, or women, can make each other feel nice in that way too. (if further questions: by touching each other). That's why we save that sort of thing and our private parts fo people we are in love with in that way and no-one else, blah blah...

Best to seize the agenda calmly and factually before playground lore takes hold Smile

chicaguapa · 17/02/2011 14:34

DD told me she wanted to marry her best friend when she was 6. I told her that she could but they would find it hard to have babies together and they'd have to find a sperm donor on the internet. Most of it went over her head tbh, but I only said it as I wanted her to tell my MIL as a) it annoys her how 'modern' I am and b) she hates me doing everything on the internet. Grin But the important message was that it was ok if she wanted to marry another girl.

DS(6) recently asked who he could send a Valentines card to and I told him it was for someone he loved. So he wanted to send it to his best friend at school. I explained that he loves his friend in a different way, but warned the parents just in case their DS got a card from my DS. They had a mouth like a cats-bum too. Grin

schoolsecretary · 17/02/2011 22:31

my 12 year old would tell you gay, means anything or any one who isn't quite in with the crowd, eg, so and so is gay, justin beiber is the main recipient of this comment, but it has nothing to with his sexuality and more to do with the type of music .

BooBooGlass · 17/02/2011 22:33

Well then I hope schoolsecretary that you correct your 12 year old and tell him that using 'gay' as a slur is unacceptable Hmm

seeker · 17/02/2011 23:08

I come down like a ton of bricks on the use of "gay" to mean pathetic or useless here. It is completely banned in my house, and the dcs know why. Can't police what they say out of my hearing, bit I want them to know that it is unacceptable, snd there are people who are prepared to stand against it.