So if you want to return to work f/t, how on earth do you cover the holidays?

[BettyDouglas]

I'd like to go back to work f/t after re-training. My 3rd DC will start school in Sept. But it has suddenly dawned on me how much holiday we will need to cover!

We have no family at all. I couldn't ask friends as I couldn't return the favour. I've spoken to local CMs but none can take all 3 for all school hols.

I'm starting to get a bit worried. What do you all do if you have no family to help?

As a SW, I absolutely cannot take them to work.
The nurseries will not have my older children but I may be able to get my younger one in until her birthday. But then that adds to the logistical nightmare.

No friends with children over 10yrs!

I thought there were no holiday clubs in our area so was panicking a bit, but then checked out the Chidren's Information Service - now called something else but I think I accessed from childcarefinder.direct.gov.uk/childcarefinder/
Found a local private school which run a holiday club from 8am-6pm, and which is open to non-pupils too.

Maybe you could try and work flexibly - if you have a job you can request flexible working, maybe making up the hours in the evening or on weekends? Working shorter hours during holiday time or staggering the day with your dp (one starts work earlier and therefore finishes earlier so being available for early pick-up of children)?

Of course ideally all your children would go to the same provider, but perhaps the youngest could go with childminder while the others go to holiday club? My youngest dd is at nursery (which runs through school hols), while older one has a combination of us taking hols in turns, grandparents, uncle and holiday clubs.

You could also try offer other relatives(godparents? uncles/aunts?)the opportunity to spend quality time with their nephews/nieces...

Thanks happyflower but as mentioned we have no family. Sadly my children have no grandparent, aunts, uncles or cousins.

I cannot work flexi hours. Certainly not for the first few years. DH is also out of the country a lot and even when here, he is out the house 6am-7pm most days.

I am going to look into any available holiday clubs though. No CMs available in my area. All are full.

It is tough - you just end up spending all your money and time sorting out what to do with the kids - either picking them up from the various holiday clubs/nurseries/friends' houses etc or entertaining them yourself while hoping your work colleagues don't think you're too much of a slacker for taking a whole week off!

Am new to all this, so no tips, but it all seems so hard! It also seems that 'cos more men are the main breadwinners it's left to the women to sort out childcare (or, if all too much, stay at home), doesn't seem fair.

There are lots of childminders on the childcare section of talk who might have useful advice.

Betty

You will sort something out but for 3 school age children unless you are loaded (which it sounds like you are not) then it will be bitty in the holidays.

I've got 2 school age children and we use a combination of holiday clubs (ours is fantastic - called Baracudas), me and dh taking time off seperately, a family holiday and some swaps with friends. You need your calendar but its works just fine.

Yes, I agree with the comments that holiday care for three dcs is "bitty".

Mine do a combination of Holiday Club (there is a good one at a nearby school which runs from 9-5.30), football courses (for ds1), council-run activity days, days with Granny, and child-swap days with friends (as mentioned, this halves the number of days off you need to take).

It sure is tricky.

It's tough, but I see "bitty" as a positive.

I figure that dd wouldn't really want to do 6 weeks in the summer of the same thing every day, and so, although it's a headache for me to sort it out, it's a good kick up the arse for me to ensure that her time is interesting and varied!

Last year, she did a mixture of holiday club, time spent with grandparents, childcare swaps with friends (which she just viewed as playdates:)), time with OH while he was on leave and time with me while I was on leave. And a bit of time when we were all off together and actually managed a holiday!

IME and as everyone else says there's no easy answer.

What we did:

Both worked 4 days/week so that sorted two days each week.

Took one fortnight together all year. Spread the rest of the days (eg I went in on a holiday week on DH's day off) to cover about another 7-8 wks.

My mum came over for a week; my brother would do a couple of days; a summer week in holiday playscheme (not their fave but needs must); odd days begged off friends; Worked over Easter break and took lieu days.

That about covered it. Most people I know did something similar. Yes yes very very bitty.

Sorry Betty I see you have no GPs, but there must be some kind of hols cover, no?

Our options include city council sports scheme (cheap but limited length of day); other sporting schemes at local secondary school; playgroup's holiday club (for up to 11yo); and (expensive) out-of-school club which runs all year after school but does full days in hols and inset days. It costs £20+ a day mind you.

BTW I used the past tense as I now work in education and my only worries are Inset days!

What is an SW anyway??

University student might work out OK if you can find the right one. The ones going to Uni next year will need all the money they can get.

Also you could try an advert on childcare.co.uk - a lot of people seem to use it.

I agree magic - bitty isn't a bad thing. It's just a bit complicated logistically. Again I'm aware that I have only one DC so it's a lot easier in that respect.

Thanks everyone! Clary, sorry, SW is a social worker.

I guess I'm going to have to accept it will be bitty. It does seem though that for most people, family play quite a helping hand.

We will take 2wks away together as a family but that still leaves another 4wks of holiday clubs which just seems alot for a 4 and 5yr old. Though I may need to get the 4yr old back into nursery.

I know I sound negative, sorry. It just seems like it works so much easier with grandparents and friends who need to do swaps. I will need to snap out of it and sort stuff out. At least I still have time to do that.

At 16 I did a nanny stint for the summer holidays and 16 years old is still legal for your three dc to have as chidlcare.

If you take 6 days off through the summer and your dh takes six days off through the sumemr -then you have three days each week to find soemone to care for the three dc - that reduces either a childcare bill or some swapping with other parents - though finding other parents to have three more dc may be an issue.

It isn't easy trying to juggle chidlcare and not having grandparents on either side isn't always going to make any differnce, some point blank refuse to help in anycase.

it is daunting thinking - I have trained for a new carer and oh I can't actually start working as 14 weeks is to long to juggle everything.

Somehow you do and you get by with a variety of higgled pigglety processes.

i still think the easy way is to get an au pair or teen help for the main summer hols and juggle a bit more around the other shorter breaks. It may be the more expensive option but with three dc it may not be as the holdiay clubs would mount up anyway.

Have you got a local college where they do childcare courses?

I have never yet had a prblem and i just don't think about chidlcare - if I am lucky there dad would have them for 4-5 days during the hols - leaving me with 5 weeks to sort out with friends and swapping, and then my own hols which I tend to take nearly three weeks in the summer hols at the end of August so I get through the first three weeks and then can relax a bit [gr

When I say i can't afford to go away in school term time people on here says it is still expensive - it isn't with childcare and steress of it for me

We do a mixture. we take turns taking days off, we use several different holiday clubs, and we do childcare swaps with friends.

The simplest would be to send all 3 to the holiday clubs all the time, they do like holiday clubs but I think they like them more because they don't go to them most of the time.

The cheapest is to keep swapping with friends but that's more effort to arrange, plans more likely to fall through, and we find it's harder to do exciting things when you have 5-7 small children in tow. The children are quite happy pootling around the house together.

As others say, it's less daunting once you get in the swing of it. I find the idea of a whole holiday at home with my dc far more daunting!

Thanks Ivykate and Fennel. I think everyone is probably right in that the prospect is more daunting than the reality.

I don't think I'd feel so nervous about holiday clubs if they were a bit bigger but at 7ys, 5ys and 4yrs, it just seemed like too much.

We do have a small, spare room so I may look into the au pair thing though I know DH will not be keen.

Lots for me to think about. Thanks.

ha-ha, I can't really take them into work either and have had some major problems with it (security issues etc) but in the evenings I have occasionally still sneeked them in (Ssshhh).

Ususally it has worked ok, with nursery, babysitters, dh and me, but sometimes you will find you are completely stuck (hence the sneeking them into work ).

I have also found it difficult relying on friends nearby/mothers nearby because they seem to need less childcare than me.

Any childless friends abroad who want to visit UK (I have for years tried to get a friend over to visit, and guess what, not have had any luck, maybe my 3 children has put her off).

well its fine for dh not to be keen and it is fine if he wants to sort out the bulk of the childcare arrangements.

I woudl seriously look at this particular option for working full time - as it will help after school and before school having another adult about to help will make your life into full time work a lot easier for you

I sympathise, OP. It's hard - but it is doable, even without any family help at all. My parents live in Ireland (we're in SE England) and are quite elderly and couldn't cope with my 3 dc for more than a couple of hours at at time, and PIL live 100 miles away but both work full-time. So although my dc are lucky enough to have 4 living GPs, who love them and are interested in them, they aren't a childcare option.

As someone else said, 'bitty' doesn't have to be bad. I think it's generally a good thing for my dc to experience the variety of several different types of childcare in the summer break. Last summer I took a day off a week (we went away for a week as a family at half term) and dh did the same. We used a local holiday scheme based in a primary school with great access to a local park and a friend's daughter who had done her PGCE recently but hadn't found a job, looked after them some days for a fixed daily rate. I have done childcare swaps too, but they're not easy to arrange if you have 3 dc of different ages I've found, so tend to keep them to help eachother out rather than as childcare.

I think the key is to keep an open mind, and to plan early. Some of the best playschemes get booked up quickly, and you have to be fairly proactive about finding out about them. I do think an au pair for the long summer break could work well for you - not as sole childcare probably, but as additional back-up or wrap-around care. Good luck - come back and tell us how you get on!

OP, there are some great holiday clubs around, so do search one out. Many cater for all ages (well, Reception upwards in some cases).

DS1 is 11, DD1 is 9 and DD2 is 7, but all of them love the club they go to - i.e. it caters really well for both sexes and a range of ages (DD2 was 4 when she first went). They come back exhausted, but can't wait to go back the next day, they really have fun, so I don't feel guilty.

Also, we live in a fairly small town, so there is always someone at the club they know from swimming/brownies/school etc.

And every year it gets easier!!

Thanks everyone, you've all been really helpful. I will spend the rest of the week trying to sort stuff out. Can't believe I was so clueless about this.