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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

So if you want to return to work f/t, how on earth do you cover the holidays?

98 replies

BettyDouglas · 14/02/2011 11:57

I'd like to go back to work f/t after re-training. My 3rd DC will start school in Sept. But it has suddenly dawned on me how much holiday we will need to cover!

We have no family at all. I couldn't ask friends as I couldn't return the favour. I've spoken to local CMs but none can take all 3 for all school hols.

I'm starting to get a bit worried. What do you all do if you have no family to help?

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Original poster

BettyDouglas · 14/02/2011 12:23

Is this how everyone else is surviving up and down the country? Bits and pieces of help from random sources?

I am amazed at my own naivety.

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Original poster

BettyDouglas · 14/02/2011 12:26

Thanks everyone, you've all been so helpful. I feel a little overwhelmed by it as it's far more daunting than I thought.

I will do a bit more research, definitely. I will also look at the 'sharing with friends' option.

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sageygirl · 14/02/2011 12:26

I need 8am to 6pm cover to allow for work and commuting, and sometimes I need longer than this. DH's current job means he is away a lot and so can't help out except when he is actually on holiday himself. He is trying to get a local job but it is not proving easy in the current climate. It is a nightmare, my DH and I rarely have a day off together and what is a family holiday, I think we had 3 days together 3 years ago? We use a combination of:

Use the nursery they were at til they started school which has a holiday club - very small and fills up quickly, book early or problems - also my eldest doesn't like this any more as it is geared to infants really and he is now 8. My 4 year old loves it.

Use our childminder when we can - she is often not available at holiday times - on holiday herself or simply full up with little ones. She is great and there is an older boy there for DS to play with.

There are various activity clubs but they tend to be 9/10am - 3pm which is of no use at all without additional help.

Occasional swap with 1 or 2 other mums - this does mean I tend to host their kids all weekends term time and to be honest it gets too much - so I use this for last minute emergencies only. Also useful though re sports clubs if both kids go to the same one.

We do have grandparents an hour away but they are getting too frail to look after an 8 year old boy plus 4 year old sister on a regular basis all day long. Having said that what they do brilliantly is come to stay at our house and take the kids to the childminders for the day and then pick them up. They can manage this and it means I can work normal days. They can also ferry kids to sports clubs and then back to the childminders - which is great for my cricket mad 8 year old who would otherwise miss out.

Try to work from home - which in reality means attempting to work all day and getting a few bits done and then working all evening and night to actually complete my cases.

At the end of the Christmas and summer holidays I am a wreck. It takes a couple of weeks to recover!

redskyatnight · 14/02/2011 12:28

It's just organisation really - no different to how you might plan different activities/outings each day if you weren't working. Every working parent (with the exception of the very few who have grandparents on tap who will have their grandchildren for EVERY day of every holiday) has to work this out.
I do know some working parents who have found a holiday club they like and just put their children in there for every holiday. Sounds like that is the solution you were hoping for (expensive).

Acanthus · 14/02/2011 12:30

It's only daunting when you look at it as a whole. When you take it one holiday at a time it's much more manageable. Do the parents of your DC's friends work? Swap days are usually good. I relied on grandparents, swap days and holiday clubs for 10yrs and it was fine. Is there a nursery that would take an under 5?

caughtinanet · 14/02/2011 12:31

Betty - its a massive issue for lots of people and I'm surprised that you're not getting much sympathy.

I don't think some posters appreciate that not everyone has a handy supply of willings friends/kids clubs/local teenagers (?) who can take on 3 children for weeks on end. Never mind the cost or the fact that the children may not be happy.

I am finding it impossible to go back to work for the same reasons as you - no family nearby/DH who works away/don't live in a city so not much in the way of holiday clubs.

I wish I had an answer for you but I don't - good luck with your search.

orangina · 14/02/2011 12:33

Could you get a holiday nanny? A student maybe or a school teacher who has the same holidays? If you advertise on gumtree, you are bound to get a load of responses......

Acanthus · 14/02/2011 12:34

You already have a holiday club for 3 of them, four days a week, until 3pm. Now you need a friend, or two or three, to have them for tea afterwards in return for you taking a Friday off and taking a posse to the park. And a friend or a nursery place for the little one. Sounds better when I describe it like that!

orangina · 14/02/2011 12:35

(I'm thinking of a keen aussie/nz over here doing teaching assistant work or something.... they are always on the look out for some estra cash to go travelling with.... or a student looking for a holiday job....?)

Acanthus · 14/02/2011 12:35

Yes of course it's a massive issue, it's the bane of every working parent's life, but it IS doable.

Original poster

BettyDouglas · 14/02/2011 12:40

Caughtinanet, thank you!

I knew I would need to sort something out but I thought they'd all go to one place all the time either to a CM or HC. I hadn't realised it would be so bitty.

I know I need to look at everything more carefully. Lots of good advice, thank you.

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Original poster

BettyDouglas · 14/02/2011 12:41

I will definitely look at holiday nanny/au pair for next summer at least.

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gramercy · 14/02/2011 12:41

I sympathise too.

I have no family, and we never really see dh's side. Dh commutes two hours each way to work and is often away. We don't live in an area very well served for childcare. I can't imagine asking people to take the dcs unless it was an emergency - it's a real imposition, after all.

I got quite a good job a few months' ago. School hours. BUT - it wasn't school holidays. After much ruminating and investigating, I had to decline the job. There was simply no way it was workable.

I have to accept that our circumstances mitigate against my taking a full-time job at the moment.

compo · 14/02/2011 12:47

We cover the summer holidays with holiday club at school - 8-6pm (luckily) for a week
a weeks family holiday
I take a week off, dh takes a week off
remaining week kids go to grandparents to stay
but if they weren't around we'd use holiday club for another week

Original poster

BettyDouglas · 14/02/2011 12:51

Just checked and the holiday club is only on for 4wks. There seems to be a huge shortage of childcare in this area. But I guess it's a sort of sleepy affluent area where most mums are SAHM rather than urban affluence where professional mums go out to work equally long hours. Hope that makes sense.

I will spend the rest of the day looking at all the options, thank you.

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curtaincall · 14/02/2011 12:59

Just want to say a big good luck to you. BettyDouglas. I don't have 3 dcs but am still unable to work things out satisfactorily. Local teenagers good when they can do it, but even the nicest, most reliable ones occasionally ring at the last minute and say something like their mum insists they go and visit their grandad but they're really sorry to let us down.

We have no able relatives either, (dead, infirm or certifiable) and swapping with other working friends doesn't work for f/t work. Trouble with living Western style in tiny nuclear families. Maybe one should advertise for an extended family. Food and company for them in return for childminding?

Seriously though, it is a genuine problem and I am making the most of it by knowing that ds benefits from having me around more.

vanimal · 14/02/2011 13:07

Hi BettyDouglas,
You could try childcare websites, like childcare.co.uk, you might find someone in the area who can help.

I haven't used them by the way, but remember seeing lots of people in my area on there.

I'll be in your shoes next year as DD1 starts school, you have my sympathies!

Do you know any working mums in the area you could ask or do a holiday kid swap thingy with?

Butkin · 14/02/2011 13:14

I agree it is a massive issue and one of the main reasons we only had one child.

We split DD's time between holiday club at her own school, all-day sports club at a local private school and tennis camp at the local tennis club.

Luckily she enjoys them all.

DW and I also have to jiggle our hours with work so that we can do drop offs and pick ups around that time frame during holidays.

caughtinanet · 14/02/2011 13:15

gramercy - I also turned down a job recently for the same reasons. There are 14 weeks of school holdays and the job only had 4 weeks holiday. DH is self employed and can't afford to take much time off.

There's no way a teenager or even young 20 something could take on my children for anything more than a couple of hours. Even someone working towards a childcare qualification wouldn't realistically be able to do it. Where I live you need a car for most stuff and, obviously, I would need to take my car to work.

Butkin · 14/02/2011 13:16

I'm also taking a week of work to take DD to Pony Club camp.

You'll find that most parents only take leave from work during school holidays and many (us included) can't take leave from work at the same time to maximise our availability.

Original poster

BettyDouglas · 14/02/2011 13:17

Can I ask all those who have mentions child holiday swaps with other parents; How do they work if you work f/t? When would I repay them the favour.

If they had mine for a week would I then not need to take a week off to have theirs? In which case why not take a week off and have my own? I guess I'm missing something!

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JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 14/02/2011 13:19

Do check out PGL for the older two - they often have offers (BOGOFs for example). Get yourself on their mailing list.

We get by with a combination of holiday club (£25 per day from 8am-6pm - fabulous), leave and swapping with friends.

I remember feeling utterly daunted, and then somehow it just happened. I appreciate that it's far easier with just the one DC however.

Have you looked at your local sports centres? Ours does a holiday club and it's fairly inexpensive. The university also runs clubs. neither are really ds's thing as they're very sports oriented (aand ds isn't!).

JenaiMarrHePlaysGuitar · 14/02/2011 13:21

wrt swapping - if you have your DC and a friend's DC one day, and they have yours the next, your children are looked after for two days but you've only had to take one day's leave.

mistlethrush · 14/02/2011 13:31

Betty - you take the week off and have both yours and theirs - which means you've only taken one week off to cover two weeks of their school holidays.

Yes, you have to take leave - its just you're halving the pain.

Original poster

BettyDouglas · 14/02/2011 13:32

Thanks, Jenai! I was obviously being a bit thick trying to work it out!
I can't think off the top of my head of anyone I could approach with regards sharing but I will have a think.

These things much be so much easier in urban areas or when your kids have grandparents. I must admit I was clueless!

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