sad for dd after parents' evening

[gramercy]

Dd is 7 and in year 3

Went tripping in to parents' evening yesterday. Dd is academically quite able so I wasn't feeling particularly apprehensive.

The teacher sat back and was off. Dd is immature, dd has an irritating habit of wringing her hands, dd's voice is so tiny she can't hear her answer the register... I was and dh was but we sat there not saying too much. I pointed out that dd is the youngest in the year and has always been paralysed with shyness, such that when she recently spoke a line in assembly I had a lump in my throat as I knew that was a monumental act of bravery for her.

Now I appreciate that teachers don't like every pupil, and that poor old dd wasn't in the front row when poise and beauty were handed out, but she enjoys school and for me to be told she's "immature" because she's a bit of a mouse is quite upsetting.

Don't know what I'm asking, really, except for a bit of sympathy.

I would hate to get a string of negative and really very personal comments like that. I would ask for another meeting just to try to calmly go through a few things when you have figured out what you would like to say.

gramercy Your DD will grow out of it.

The teacher on the other hand will remain stupid, rude and insensitive unless someone pulls her up short and teaches her to do better. I'm not suggesting you should take on the role of mentor, there are highly-paid people at Shire Hall who can do that I'm sure.

My sympathy is with you.

Ill come with you next parents evening .

I'm with posie on this, I don't think you can guarantee that DD isn't picking up on this negativity. And whether she is or not is partly irrelevant as the teacher's attitude is just not on.

I know exactly how you feel and my heart reaches out to you and your DD

Until my DS went into yr 3 he was a good kid, pretty normal, never had a problem all was good. He hit year three and his teacher just didn't like him.

Suddenly, I apparently had a son who was disruptive, a troublemaker, didn't listen, work wasn't up to the standard of the rest of the class, didn't participate in class activities - the list goes on. In fact she even went so far as to try label him ADHD and she even went to the headmaster and I was hauled up to the school and told to take him to a specialist so that they could apply for a teachers aide to assist but they needed him to be "diagnosed" first. It was then that the penny dropped...she already had three other teachers aides for children in her class. I told them that I wasn't prepared to put my child through that as I didn't for one moment believe he was ADHD, nor pay the costs (I was a single parent back then) and that we would just have to see how things went. It was the worst school year I have ever been through.

When DS went into yr4, there had been some miraculous healing over the holidays obviously, because his new teacher, when I spoke to her, had no problems whatsoever with him.

The teacher that had him in yr3 just didn't like him. It was same for about 4 other kids in her class.

DS is now 13yo, is a well adjusted young man and it didn't put him back or have any affect on him at all. This all happened in Australia and we returned last year after living there for 8 years and he has settled back into UK life, like a duckling to water.

Anyway my very long winded point is that, it won't last forever, some teachers can be arses and with your love and support she'll come through this difficult time with flying colours.

Take care all of you

Nickschick, you are a hero

That is a totally unprofessional, inhumane way of speaking to anyone. I am appalled, but sadly not the first experience i have of this.

In a previous school i worked at there was a teacher who had firm favourites and 'the rest', to the extent that she refered to them as 'the vegetable patch'. Of course i understand that in any job were you work with people (child or adult) there are thosse who you connect with better than others, but it is your job and responsibility to build connections with those who it doesn't come naturally. We've all done that in whatever job we do. This teacher should be doing that too.

The previous teacher that did this was eventually 'caught' by the head after a shockingly similar account to yours of a parents evening. Don't forget that teachers have bosses too! We are accountable to someone and can be told off and held to account just like any other job.
In this case the parent that made the first complaint allowed the flood gates to open and soon the teacher had 5 written complaints against her.

Long story short, she is now a receptionist for local business man.

Don't be afraid to step up and fight for your and your DD's right.

What a horrible teacher! If it was me I would probably go back and say that I have been reflecting on the comments and want to understand if there is actually a problem and what needs to be done about it. It is pointless the teacher making negative comments without any solutions to address them.

When I was in Y6 I had a teacher who was like this to me. I knew full well I was least favourite in the class. Luckily I had good friends and I got through the year without ever getting to the point of disliking school. Does your DD have a good friend/group?