Why is MN so obsessed with reception reading?

[skiphopskidaddle]

It's a marathon, not a sprint. It doesn't matter if Johnny is on red and Amy is on lilac as (a) different schools go at different paces and (b) children develop different skills in different order.

I can't quite believe the number of reception reading threads I've seen this week along the lines of "what colour book is yours on?". I'm going over to the behaviour/development board now to check for obsessive posting about when children learn to walk. Cos it doesn't matter either, in general.

when my children reach

"....competitveness, which as we all know is not healthy at the age of 4."

Maisie - I wholeheartedly disagree with this. My DC are competitive , have been since before they could both talk. Its the way they are, its inherent in their personalities. They are at a school where competition is encouraged, including a 1/2/3 placing on a rostrum for every event at sports day.

I don't think there should be pressure though, thats a different thing.

Exactly - it's not the competitiveness from children that's unhealthy. It's the competitiveness from parents, which is what this thread is about, after all.

I think most mums at MN are not being pushy, just showing an interest in their child's education. It's our responsibility as parents to support our children in their learning and taking an interest. I never force my DD to do anything. She actually comes to me wanting me to teach her things.
And from what I have unfortunately experienced in my DD school already is that the teacher doesn't always know the child or assess them properly. It is up to us parents to monitor this as well. Not because I am pushy, because I want my daughter to achieve what she is capable of. She would thrive from this.

One person's "competitiveness" is another person's "support and bolstering." It's all about perspective. There are no losers at the top table.

Can't say till I get there... Honestly, I would feel a stab of jealousy for other parents of the 'bright and talented'. But if I felt I'd done my best, and he'd done his best, I'd be happy. And I hope, most of all, that he'd never feel like I didn't love him if he didn't 'achieve' academically. There's all sorts of things people can excel in, it may be kindness or generosity. Really deep down, I'd actually rather it was those than academic brilliance. Of course, both would be nice!

There are no losers at the top table? Utter rubbish - there is always a top dog.

Parents who constantly compare their own children to others are not providing support and bolstering. They are slightly sad creatures who lack confidence - to be pitied, really. The only person you should be competing with is yourself.

What does 'there are no losers at the top table' mean?

I know plenty of very clever adults who are very also very unhappy. Some people may feel they are 'losers' now, they never feel they have achieved 'enough'. It's very sad. I hope no-one would encourage their child to grow up that way.

Having had experience of both English and Italian schools I can say that here (Italy) teachers and parents aren't at all concerned about a child's ability to read in his/her first yr at school (and children even start later here)

I think reading levels is a good way for parents to try to measure how 'clever' their child is or will be in school, and early readers are seen as that - everyone wants their DC to do well at school.

However, they are really young at 4 and learn best when they are excited about something. Mine (5) is keeping up but not a keen reader, so at the moment DS is wide-eyed while watching Bruce Parry and Human Planet about how people live in the arctic and he loves Charles Dickens stories. I think he learns more that way than me trying to push him with his reading, I am sure that will come as we love books and always read to him.

Merry, your niceness and reasonableness have made me too guilty to carry on - I was only having a little larf.

'And from what I have unfortunately experienced in my DD school already is that the teacher doesn't always know the child or assess them properly. It is up to us parents to monitor this as well. '
same here ElinElin. I have very little faith in dd1's teacher, she had almost nothing to say about dd1 at parents' evening beyond that she is 'quiet' (and believe me she is not quiet at home) so i do worry about her progress. Not helped by the fact that dd1 hates reading at home!

Agree. Spend more time fostering a lively, enquiring mind and less time comparing a 4 year olds reading book to others.

If my child is not academically inclined (or a thicky, as Hully so charmingly put it) then I would still rather have one who was enthusiastic and lively than one who saw themselves as a failure because they weren't reading to the same level as little Amy at the age of 4.

Oooh, nice and reasonable. Don't think anyone's ever called me that before , especially not dh!

The only way to get a measure of your child's ability is to compare them to their peers.

How some teachers expect parents to not be interested in how they fair compared to their classmates and to inform them of how well they are doing without saying what ability groups they are in is beyond me.

As a teacher, although I didn't publicise where a child sat ability wise in the class, if parents were to ask I was happy to say what group they were in, and also how they would compare to other children nationally.

If schools were more transparent then parents wouldn't have to be sneaky or ashamed of comparing their child to others.

As a parent, you need to know how they compare so that you can address any problems or give them extra help if needed.

If I tried to push DS (5) with his reading even more (I already make him read his school book once a week! and I encourage him to read this or that he is interested in) he would turn off completely, some just don't seem to be quite ready at this age.

Wonder whether there is a connection between the problems with boys literacy and the early school starting age in this country.

A good teacher and school will address these problems though. This thread is not about providing extra support when it's needed, it's about competitive parents of children aged 4. Children in some other countries don't start reading until much later - I don't believe they all turn out to be "thickys"

Exactly, Maisie, they pick up reading very quickly and read well after just one year of teaching. Also, there doesn't seem to be so much fuss about reading levels.

Prizes at speech day? Blimey!

at hully

I understand people feeling anxious but to be honest it has become bizarre and obsessive.
Reading is at five means fuck all except that your child can read at five.
When I interviewed people I almost never asked them what ORT level they were on at reception.

And having the cleverest child has become the holy Grail . People think that having a bright child reflects well upon their parenting when it almost never does.

To BunnyWunny. Did I understand right that you are a teacher? Then it is reassuring to know that not all teachers are like my DD's teacher. I totally agree, if teachers were more open it would be better. When I went for parent evening in Nov teacher said everything is fine, very positive feedback. Then when I mentioned to teacher what my daughter can do and teacher said she is not doing this in school.(even though the day after she got a book so must have taken my comment seriously)I met with teacher and I think she thinks that I was critisising her and took things personally. Teacher did not offer any ideas on how to improve things. Of course if my DD is in lower group I want to support her to achieve better. And if she is not showing in school what she can do. Why is that. Becuause of my DD or cause Teacher not assessed her properly.
To CatIsSleepy of course as a parent you worry. It shows that you care. My dd teacher said same thing. She is not confident in class etc. In every other environment she is very confident. Even in drama class in school her drama teacher said she is very confident.

LOL, taffeta!

But ElinElin, if your child is in reception, and she is 4/5 it might be that she isn't emotionally ready to show at school what she can do.
Teachers at reception are imho dealing with extremely young children, who are starting school with incredibly different levels of emotional maturity is it right to "assess" then so young?
I don't think the level of reading of a 4/5 yr old should concern a teacher so much.

what namechanges said

It's the only way you know how your kids are doing. We had a parents evening in Oct - basically are they happy, and there will be another one early next month. It's a long time between. Obviously you can talk to the teacher, but the book and the level it is are concrete things that you can get a handle on.

I don't know enough enough about numeracy and kids development to know how dd is doing on that, and that would also depend a lot on the teaching style, I wish there was something like the reading books in numeracy so I could know. I don't care what level she is, I just like to know about my dd.

This time last year I had a daily diary from the childminder to read for each day she was there, and a diary at playgroup I could read on my duty days. I'm in withdrawal!