Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

1 2

Original poster

Those scare stories other parents tell you when you're applying for primary schools

30 replies

becstarlitsea · 07/12/2010 14:17

Just posting this now as I know primary applications are around the corner for a lot of people.

I got so stressed about DSs primary application. He's now in Reception and happy as a lark (at his 3rd choice school - and I now know that he would have been fine at his 4th choice too - he has friends there who are doing well).

Now that I'm in the school I can look back on the dire warnings I got from other parents about the local schools, and their insistence that I should start attending a different church to give my DS a better chance of getting into a 'good' school. Not that there aren't 'bad' schools out there, it's just that some of the criteria parents used when warning me off a school were questionable. And I was so caught up in the stress and worrying that I might fail DS in some way. I must admit when one parent started a comment about a local school with 'I mean I'm not being racist, but...' I did have a moment of clarity (and phoned up to visit that school - he might as well have given the school a glowing endorsement!)!

Thanks to all the MNers who, when I was stressing, said 'Just go and visit the ones with a bad rep, you might like them.' I did, and I did.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

IndigoBell · 07/12/2010 14:23

Same here - the 'bad school' turned out to be absolutely brilliant.

lostinwales · 07/12/2010 14:24

Yay for common sense. I'm going through the same with secondary at the moment. Trying to be objective but people can be quite rabid in their justifications for schools can't they!

lovecheese · 07/12/2010 14:51

What an uplifting Post! I am glad that your DS is happy at his school. Normal, mild-mannered, reasonable parents seem to get their OFSTED hats on and pass judgement on other schools when they probably haven't even set foot in them. As lostinwales says Yay for common sense!

pantomimecow · 07/12/2010 16:45

HMmm if you think primary school application process is bad, you aint seen nothing yet..

PixieOnaLeaf · 07/12/2010 18:15

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

PressureDrop · 07/12/2010 18:19

Couldnt agree more. The sweet little 'Ofsted outstanding' school that caused a parent bunfight didn't suit my son at all.

He is now at the 'bog standard' primary (that the chattering classes definitely don't favour) and he is happy as a sandboy. I am also much more impressed with the teaching, school-parent communication and generally happy, fun atmosphere there.

Original poster

becstarlitsea · 07/12/2010 18:24

Aint seen nothing yet? So it gets worse???
More competitive than London primary school application?

And the secondary school application frenzy is already warming up in the Reception playground...

OP posts:

muminthecity · 07/12/2010 18:26

Agree completely. DD actually goes to our first choice school, but it was bottom of everyone else's list as it has a bad reputation. I fell in love with it the first time I visited, as did DD and after meeting several of the teachers/TAs, I knew it was the right choice. They haven't let me down yet, DD is so happy and is learning to read and write quicker than I could have imagined! She's made good friends and gets upset on Fridays when she realises there's no school the next day!

strandedatseasonsgreetings · 07/12/2010 18:27

I went for the closest school (lazy emoticon) and luckily got her in there - she starts in January as we are moving home from overseas.

So glad I didn't have to choose. I didn't even bother with 2nd, 3rd, 4th choices etc!

tattycoram · 07/12/2010 18:32

Oooh thank you for saying that. We are just balancing the tiny ofsted outstanding primary school with latin and a brass band against a slightly chaotic community school with no uniform and no homework and plumping for the no uniform one. I think DS will sink like a stone in the school that everyone else wants, but it is a bit of a leap

tattycoram · 07/12/2010 18:37

emy72 · 07/12/2010 18:39

One thing I have learned as a parent is that you cannot rely on other people's opinions of a school as everyone has different expectations and different children who thrive in different environments.

Also a change of teacher/head can have some dramatic effects, both negative and positive.

So it's all a bit of a question mark until you are going through it with your individual child.

RoadArt · 07/12/2010 18:43

I agree with Emy. My kids eventually went to the one with the "worst reputation". It was the worst because it attracted council estate kids rather than the posh estate kids, but it was fantastic and offered much more than the highly focussed high SATS schools. Focussing on childrens needs is much more important than focussing on passing tests. Nurturing and developing the whole child is extremely important.

All schools are different, weve been to a few and they have all been very different.

letsblowthistacostand · 07/12/2010 18:55

YY very good advice! My friend's closest school was The Bad School--all others too far to contemplate. Her daughter went to nursery and is now at Reception there and they love it, lots of nice kids, great teachers, nice community! We had to choose without looking as we were overseas so just chose the closest secular school and it is fabulous despite not being everybody's first choice.

Rose50 · 07/12/2010 22:02

I'm so glad you and others have posted this with your positive experience of choosing a primary, and not choosing a so-called "good school". I've recently posted about this as I'm applying for DD1 at the moment, and I'm torn as to which school to place as my third choice. The school I can walk to which I want to have as my third choice isn't very well regarded locally, but I went to the Open Morning and was pleasantly surprised.

It is such a big decision that I am finding it very reassuring to hear that your dcs are thriving, learning and loving school, and that those schools which aren't well regarded turn out to be a fabulous school for your child.

RoadArt · 08/12/2010 03:48

I think one of the different things to look for is how they teach. Some focus strongly on learning through play while others will sit at tables filling in pieces of paper.

Both have to achieve the same targets, but how they get there is different.

A lot will depend on what suits your child. Mine is academic and my gut instinct was to go for the more structured school rather than the playing school, but the kids looked miserable and were really under pressure from an early age. The learning through play school was absolutely fantastic and just as good for the academic kids as well as those who are not quite as much.

As long as the teacher is good, then children will thrive in most environments.

lingle · 08/12/2010 13:29

LOL at "the tiny ofsted outstanding primary school with latin and a brass band"

ours was the "bad" school when DS1 started. Now it is also outstanding and yes it does Latin (!). But when something happens to your family and your child is suddenly vulnerable, that's when you realise that what you need is a head that backs you and leads the staff in supporting and nurturing your child...... it's only when the trouble strikes (as it does most of us at some point) that you see where the true priorities should be (not that I've anything against Latin and I now lead a violin club!)

atyourservice · 09/12/2010 17:25

Great post, someone in a position to know made a really good point to me the other day.
She said that sometimes if a school is in a very 'good' catchment area with advantaged children it stifles creativity becasue the children will do well whatever the school does and I must say this fitted in with my impressions as I did my visits.

ShanahansRevenge · 10/12/2010 10:48

The school thing has caued me untold stress. I was not mprepared at all and did not understand the application process...I am a worrier by nature and could not cope with the whole good versus terrible thing...DD is at aa very small and wonderful school but wwe may have to move...your post gives me hope!

civil · 10/12/2010 11:04

Like your post and also love our dds school that is definitely not popular amongst the chattering classes. (Even the liberal guardian reading types avoid it and then grumble that their chosen school is too 'white')

However, it gave me a lot of evil satisfaction when our local 'popular' school (the one that people drive to from miles away) got given a bad ofsted recently!

Imagine having done all that worrying, lied about your home address, spent a fortune on petrol only to discover that the school that you would have cut off your arm to get into wasn't that good!

A lot of parents are very nervous and really believe that their child will get the average sats result of a school rather than getting what they deserve.

I'm now involved in our school as a governor and realise how much each child is monitored to ensure that they all reach their potential.

And schools with a mix of children are lovely; you realise that if you child has any problems, the school will be able to deal with it. Whereas, a monoculture school might not cope with a child who wasn't fitting in.

PollyParanoia · 10/12/2010 13:37

What a lovely thread. I completely agree. I feel really blessed to have as our local school one that reflects the huge diverstiy of our neighbourhood. Now that dcs are there I wouldn't swap for it for one of those sought after ones at all and am glad that we don't have any near us or any faith ones as they would be divisive.

maktaitai · 10/12/2010 13:44

Totally. I love ds's school but ironically it was probably in some ways a better school when it had a worse Ofsted - the head then was somewhat jaundiced and jaded but was more practised at coping with tricky situations. Having said that, the current head's strength is picking great teachers, she has recruited a string of belters, so though it's far from perfect, it's a local school I feel pretty lucky to have.

Elibean · 10/12/2010 13:52

Ditto and amen to all

We went on gut instinct, and chose the least popular, smallest community school in our area - love it to bits, so do the dds.

cakesaregood · 10/12/2010 20:04

Agree with everyone that this is a great thread!

Due to moving again, we're about to move DS1 to his 4th primary, with DS2 starting in Sept. We've been mithering over a school a bit further away and whether to apply for a place for DS2 and then get DS1 in as a sibling.

You've all reminded me that we've been served brilliantly by our local schools (or local + 1 this time as local was full at the time!!) And in all probability the local school this time will be excellent too. Besides, we will be able to walk on proper pavements!!!

Still going enjoy having a nose around a few schools though!

Smithagain · 11/12/2010 20:22

"And schools with a mix of children are lovely; you realise that if you child has any problems, the school will be able to deal with it. Whereas, a monoculture school might not cope with a child who wasn't fitting in."

Yes, yes, yes! My kids' school has a right old rag-bag of kids, with all sorts of ishoooos. Huge proportion with special needs. Several recent immigrants with next to no english. A handful of Travellers. Every family situation you could possibly imagine.

And they are so good at treating every child as an individual and making sure that each one makes good progress.

Shame that so many white middle class mummies are commuting to the next suburb, to attend the lovely monocultural school that's just been put into special measures. Smug? Me? No, not at all!

Flip

1 2