Those scare stories other parents tell you when you're applying for primary schools

[becstarlitsea]

Just posting this now as I know primary applications are around the corner for a lot of people.

I got so stressed about DSs primary application. He's now in Reception and happy as a lark (at his 3rd choice school - and I now know that he would have been fine at his 4th choice too - he has friends there who are doing well).

Now that I'm in the school I can look back on the dire warnings I got from other parents about the local schools, and their insistence that I should start attending a different church to give my DS a better chance of getting into a 'good' school. Not that there aren't 'bad' schools out there, it's just that some of the criteria parents used when warning me off a school were questionable. And I was so caught up in the stress and worrying that I might fail DS in some way. I must admit when one parent started a comment about a local school with 'I mean I'm not being racist, but...' I did have a moment of clarity (and phoned up to visit that school - he might as well have given the school a glowing endorsement!)!

Thanks to all the MNers who, when I was stressing, said 'Just go and visit the ones with a bad rep, you might like them.' I did, and I did.

DS goes to our second choice school which many but not all locals shun. He's getting on really well there and has a good group of friends. I think it probably does his confidence more good being there than if he were in a school with lots of high achieving kids. We also have a really short walk to school which is a real bouns. I don't think the parents who drive their kids for half an hour each way have any idea that they can get a good education on their door step!

Agree so much re the middle class obsession with ghettoised middle class schools. Feel very averse to these property price-increasing, four-by-four attracting primaries myself. Really want dd to go somewhere reflective of wider community.

However this hasn't made me immune to the anxiety surrounding primary applications, esp as we are trying to move and it's impossible not to get drawn into all the ofsted research etc.

In partic I've come across a couple of wonderful schools, very mixed, very progressive, creative, great vibe, great behaviour, and, as it happens, good results too.

Part of me knows that all that really matters for a young child is a caring teacher and a crop of nice local friends. But I'm having trouble seeing past these amazing schools as a benchmark. (We're unlikely to get in from here and anyway are trying to move as I said.)

So, wise mnetters who've been through this before, can you undo the spell these schools have cast?

alittleteapot - they do sound like idyllic institutions!

The only advice I can give for breaking the spell is actually going to set foot in the schools that you realistically have a chance of getting your DD into. Stop reading too many reports and make it real. Walk the corridors, look at the displays, look the children in the eye, suss out the head teacher and get a gut reaction for where you and your daughter will fit right in. Because that will probably be the place that your daughter will thrive.

And remember that the thing that matters even more than a caring teacher and nice local friends is a home life that values education and is supportive of the child's learning. It's pretty obvious that you already offer her that, so you're already half way there!

Try walking around a school and thinking ' would I like to spend my week here?'

thanks smith and civil, and sorry for hijack