Choosing Schools - WWYD?

[LondonSuperTrooper]

Hello all,

I need some help please! I would love some help in reaching my decision in which order to rank my DS choices for reception. I have visited all schools in question; I have looked at OFSTED report and league tables...... And I am no closer in choosing a school for my DS! As a single parent I feel the weight of responsibility of choosing the school and have not got anyone to talk this through with. I have just recently moved into the area and do not know any local mums either

School 1 - outstanding OFSTED but is an infant only school with no junior school attached to it, one class of 30 per year and is located 0.8 miles from my house. It's a fabulous school and I really like it but I am not too happy with the junior school that DS will have to transfer to - currently have 99 kids per year!! Local junior 0.5miles away and is ranked 53 in the league table for the county (out of 198 schools).

School 2 - good OFSTED, 4-11 years old, lovely small school, one class of 30 per year and is located 1.2 miles from my house. It's ranked 120 in the league table for the county. The only negative thing that I have heard about it is that 10% of the kids are from the traveller?s camp across the road (long term settlers).

School 3 - Good OFSTED, ranked 11th in league tables for the county (out of 198), 2 classes of 30 per year and is located 5 miles from my house.

DS is quite shy and takes him a while to settle into his surroundings. I am not sure whether I should choose a school based on what he needs now, which is School 1 or what is best in the long term, which is School 3. I want to choose School 3 as I am happy with DS attending there; he will be settled in there from 4-11 years old and has a fantastic reputation. The only down side for me is that it's 5 miles away. I am planning on picking up DS from school 1-2 days a week and having his friends over etc. I am not put off of the distance or the drive.

I should mention that DS hasn't settled or set root anywhere - IYSWIM. He was taken out of nursery after 7 months due to 2 kids picking on him on daily basis. He is currently attending a pre-school in County A but will have to move to County B due to my recent job change. Hence the reason that I would like him to feel settled.

Which schools would you choose? The scary thing is that I am 95% certain that I will get my first choice - based on the last 4 years of admission figures. Many people at work have made much of friendship forged at 4-7 years old etc and that kids suffer when they move over to a different junior schools without their group of friends etc. Also, some have mentioned that DS will not have any local friends. But our life is so busy trying to cram in horse riding and swimming lessons, spending some time alone together and meeting up with my family that I fail to appreciate the impact of him not having any local friends.

I'm rambling now aren?t I? Can you see why I'm confused?! Essentially I am asking - What would you do?

Many thanks if you have read the post & got this far x

neuroticwhome - I'm quite certain I never said they did! I'm interested to know, since LondonSuperTrouper is so carefully visiting the schools and clearly not just trusting the OFSTEDs, etc (ie being as diligent and thoughtful as she can possibly be), whether having done her research she decides that the OFSTEDs at the schools she has visited seem to give a fair reflection of what she herself has seen and felt - ie, in a way, her own quality assessment of the OFSTED reports in question! (Which refers back to my point that some OFSTEDs are extremely good and others a bit crappy - would be nice to know how many of each, since that is what OFSTED is doing with respect to schools, so maybe we could do our own mini quality assessment of a limited number of OFSTED inspections!!!). And I'm also interested to know how much, at the end of the day, she feels the league tables eventually swayed her decision. It really is an objective, investigative question on my part, not a subtle jibe. I would quite simply be interested to know how useful she felt the information was and what the quality of the information was in her view.

On a connected note - OFSTED has said that about 50% of secondary teaching is merely satisfactory. I wonder what percentage of OFSTED inspections are merely satisfactory? I do not say this to argue that OFSTED is no use, as I think good OFSTED inspections can be exceptionally useful. I just say it as a matter of interest.

Have I justified myself enough???? My intentions aren't noble, they are just nosey.

Haven't read through the whole shebang but OP have you looked at the CVA scores of the schools that you are considering? It says more about a school than OFSTED reports or league tables.

rabbitstew- I obviously mistook what you were saying - sorry .

Can I just say, neuroticwhome, that I really appreciate that you made the effort to apologise when you realised we had misunderstood each other? I've had people flounce off on me before and refuse to accept my apologies, or not listen when I explained I thought we were merely misunderstanding each other, rather than disagreeing with each other. I am finding this a very civilised thread!

ps and before we have another misunderstanding, that was sincere! I think the written word can be a right pain, sometimes, because you have to decide whether it is "said" in a sarcastic voice or not!

I agree. No misunderstanding this time - I assumed you were sincere and was just deciding whether it was necessary to thank you for being gracious. Shall we move on .

I'd go for number 1, the closest. My timid and unconfident four-year old DS has flourished in the small local village primary he started at in September. His confidence has gone up in leaps and bounds and he feels firmly rooted in his community, which I think is wonderful for small children. As a fellow single parent, I'd advise the OP not to underestimate the value of local friends. My very sociable only child has friends on tap at all times, without having to schedule playdates in advance and spend my time drive him around. And to have the support of the parents of DS's friends, who nearly all live within five minutes walk, is invaluable. They are all delighted to help out at any time if I have deadline pressures, am ill etc. And I do the same for them.

Rabbit,
As I am no way near making a decision, I shall refrain from ranking any of the schools even if I do have my favorites. I rang School 3 yesterday and asked to be put in touch with parents who are based from the same area as me and send their DCs to their school. So, hopefully some of these parents will get in touch & we?ll take it from there. I particularly want to find out whether they feel that their DCs (and them) feel isolated for living 5 miles away.

I have also arranged to visit School 2 today and I?m going in there with an open mind.

Finally and most importantly, I am arranging for my third & final visit to the 3 schools that I am considering??.. and this time I am armed with an ex-head teacher who will accompany me. The real question is whether the schools will allow me to have a private visit on a non-open day.

So as you can see I am not in any shape or form using OFSTED or the league tables to base my decision, though I am getting a fair idea of the school from reading the reports IFYSWIM.

Lovecheese,
Yes I am looking at CVA and they were listed in the table that I posted yesterday.

Neurotic,
Had Rabbit not explained her position I would have reached the same conclusion as you!

Cat,
Thank you very much for sharing your experience with us. It?s anecdotes like this that make me question of my choosing a non-local school. It would be great if I know that I can have some help, however small, from other parents. This is particularly important as I am single mum and will be working full time.

Flower,
My DS sounds exactly like yours! This is why I really like School 1 but then doubts creep into my mind whether he will feel unsettled (he?s moved nurseries twice) when moving to the junior school and how he?ll cope with it.
Unfortunately for me, his play dates will have to be scheduled in advance as I?m working full time and the location of the school will have no bearing on this. But of course it would be much much easier if his friends lived 5 mins down the road as opposed to 5 miles away.

Hi, LondonSuperTrouper,

Don't forget, your ds will hopefully be having playdates at other children's houses, too. If the parents are local to you, they will hopefully be happy to help out with picking up and collecting, keeping an eye on your ds if you are running late, etc, and being understanding that a working single parent might not be able to do as much of the hosting as a stay-at-home mum! Obviously you could get the same hospitality from parents living a long way away, but it is still something to consider.

And - wow! I think the way you are going about this is pretty amazing. Sorry if I sounded a bit tough on you when I told you to relax!

Thanks Rabbit.

Well, I have just eliminated School 2 from my list and now have School 6 as my third choice!!!

Still undecided between School 1 & School 3 though............

great posts re community seeker and cat64.

Hi, LondonSuperTrooper,

Just wanted to say that I grew up in a little village, one down from where the village school was, with no local bus service and no shops, and no friends from school in my village (in fact, no other children my age). I was also rather introverted, so only had a small number of very close friends. I therefore just didn't have enough friends to be having two playdates a week every week with and so did feel quite isolated and would have been lonely had it not been for having so many siblings to play with. I think that is why I am so enamoured of being part of the community around my dss' school, because despite my ds1 being socially awkward and shy to the extreme, he can still play around with the girl from next door - he doesn't have to be her special friend who will actually accept formal playdates to enjoy that. We have had experience of playdate invitations being ignored, too, as the parent is clearly too polite to say that her child doesn't like my child as much as my child likes hers.... However, my ds1 is recognised when we, eg, go trick or treating, and people wave to him when they see him and it makes me feel much more secure that he is still happy even though he isn't hugely popular.

So, please do seriously consider the local option.

ps don't laugh at my "play around with the girl next door"! He really is too young for that, yet!

I meant, of course, play with...

Rabbit et al

I am seriously considering the local option hence my being so indecisive about which school to choose. I feel extremely lucky that the application deadline is on 15th January and so I have some time before reaching my decision.

Can I also mention that the property that we are living in at the moment is rented and I?m intending to buy my own property next year sometime ?.. However, I will still be 3-4 miles away from School 3 as I will never be able to afford to buy in that area. I guess what I am trying to say, quite badly it seems, is that I am more interested in getting my DS into the right school and then we?ll move to be that little bit closer.

Fair enough! Don't feel the need to justify yourself - it's your decision. We're just here to make suggestions, justify ourselves and make your final choice even harder!

I know but, me being me, I was just trying to explain my position

And me being me, I was trying to explain mine. I should have said, you don't have to justify your position any more, because you've already gained our respect. (And I never believed it was possible to genuinely feel you like someone you've only ever talked to over the internet! Are you actually a middle aged man with no children?!).

(that was a joke and didn't mean I like middle aged men with no children...).

Ahhhh thanks Rabbit!

Joke me laugh