clever girl yr2

[mitz]

I don't want to sound all big headed but one of my children happens to be seriously clever. I don't take any credit for it, same as I don't take any blame for the others. But I know that at school she is doing work way below what she can do, she can't be bothered with the homework and says at school she helps the other children out or goes and reads a book when she's finished her work.

I've got parents evening in two weeks. What can I say to get the teacher to give her more/different work or should I just shut up and be glad of her 'problem'?

magicmummy1

It's not a case of either/or.

I don't know about planetsupergirl's but mine is very sociable and happy. Social skills and making friends is not an issue and I'd not want her to move up a year or anything that could put that at risk. And I don't want to cram her at home.

It's just about what she's doing in lesson time.

My DD2 was 2A at the beginning of Yr 2, 3A by the end of it in everything - we're very lucky in taht the school really works with all its ability groups. DD2 is now doing maths in the top group of Yr 4 and loving it, gets individual reading books and English homework as well as spellings but still gets to be a giggly 7YO - very important to me for her to have more tahn tha academic stuff. Our primary is up to Yr4 but that doesn't have to be an impediment - last year DD1 was having work carted in from the local middle school.

Word of warning though - it does all level out, however special you think your DC is now. DD1 is nowin YR 5 at middle school, her top set is about 15 children in maths, egnlish and science whereas she was used to 4-5. No more big fish in small pond! On the bright side, she likes not being 'different' to the people she is being taught with and has grown in confidence so they must be doing something right.

SE13Mummy
Thanks for that, I will see what she says.

I think there is a deeper problem here in that I have no idea what she's doing at school. All I have to go on are what she says (she's bright so she may play up to my expectations!), & the homework.

pointythings
I've not had a very clever one before. I just wonder if it levels out, or if it is levelled out of them by the school.

mitz, I know it doesn't have to be either/or - I too have a dd with excellent social skills and lots of friends, who also happens to be working several years ahead of her peers. I would be very unhappy if she wasn't being stretched or stimulated in school, and I would certainly approach the teacher about it. However, if they responded with the comment that making friends was more of a priority, I would assume that they were trying to tell me something! And I would take that concern every bit as seriously as any concerns about academic work.

Of course I don't know planet's dd, and she may have fantastic social skills for all I know. I just think it's a rather odd response from the teacher if there are no concerns in that area.

Magicmummy1

Teachers often say odd things. Like the one who said I should send the 6 year old to a private school.

Or the one who said of my eldest, when in reception... 'we need more plumbers' Strange strange strange.. especially as she's a girl.

But still, it's nice to know the teachers don't pigeon hole your kids!

mitz, I don't think it's all levelled out: after all, not all adults are equally bright. However, the hierarchy often changes in the later years, because some of the children who seemed bright early were simply early developers rather than unusually gifted, and some children who were late developers really blossom as they mature and reach a level that nobody could have predicted. This is not necessarily the fault of the school.

I was always considered the bright one of the family and my little brother was considered an average child. By the end of secondary school, he had overtaken me. He is now a professor and I am not. This is not because anybody had failed me: I was given every educational advantage by my academic and doting parents. It was simply that we were set on different trajectories and that those were not apparent at the time.

Again, some of the children in dd's playschool who seemed very very clever as 3yos were not in top set by Yr 6 (so far from outpacing the resources offered by the school): not because they had lost heart, but because being bright for a 3yo is not guarantee that you have it in you to be bright for a 11yo- it's a totally different type and level of brightness.

I think this is what people mean when they say it levels out.

mitz, our school sounds a bit like pointythings, so children are taught by ability rather than age. There are a couple of girls in DS's class (Yr2), who do a lot of their work in Yr4, but are still very much Yr2 kids, so socially it works for them. Also, we're told every term what level our children have reached, so you can see if they're progressing or not. It's an easy way to have a dialogue with the teachers, so maybe you could ask if they do that or not. I'd imagine they do, even if they don't tell parents the results.

If teachers are often on the defensive with you that suggests that you are probably being unreasonable in your expectations, and need to learn to be more tactful at the very least. Maybe the private school comment has to do with your evident expectations rather than your child's ability?

IME, teachers love the brightest pupils and struggle not to completely dote on them; they find it immensely rewarding to teach such children, I don't go along with the idea that the brightest children are just a nuisance to their planning and therefore teachers would rather ignore their potential.

Even the brightest children end up underachieving if they are unhappy, therefore I would value my child being happy in their school environment above all else (I would never take that for granted). If she's very happy where she is, ffs don't move her or try to fix what's not broken.

It is hard for me to see that you should say anything, OP .

Ragged Over the years I've annoyed lots of teachers. I try hard not to, but I work in the private sector with all the expectations of professionalism and client-pleasing that comes with that.

Teachers are in a different world and their behaviour seems very strange and unprofessional to me.

However I am trying not to get their backs up, that's why I'm asking for advice on how to handle the teachers.

Thanks for the comment about the private school - that actually makes sense to me now!

"IME, teachers love the brightest pupils and struggle not to completely dote on them; they find it immensely rewarding to teach such children, I don't go along with the idea that the brightest children are just a nuisance to their planning and therefore teachers would rather ignore their potential."

I agree. And have just been told by dd's teacher at parents' evening that she wishes she could have a entire class populated by mini magics!

[disclaimer: proud mummy, cannot help herself]

@Mitz,

It isn't the teachers' job to please you, it's their job to develop your DCs to their full potential. The way you say 'Teachers are in a different world and their behaviour seems very strange and unprofessional to me.' suggests that your approach and attitude could probably use some work - if you start out from a position of not respecting the teachers, why should they respect you?
Having said all that, and realising it soudns pretty harsh, you do have a right to good communication and if you aren't getting it then you should take it further. If parents' evenings don't work for you, try booking a proper one-to-one with DD's teacher - and insist that this is more than a rushed 2 minutes at the end of the school day. Come with a list of the things you would like to address so taht you can keep the discussion focused, don't be confrontational, listen and then if you're still not happy you can approach the head of the department, the head of the school and/or the governors. Just keep it polite, you're more likely to get a hearing.
@cory re levelling out - just what I meant, well put.
@ragged, I have definitely found that teachers do appreciate the brighter kids and will do their best to make the most of their talents.
@magic, I was told the same by the haed of our school after a (successful) OFSTED inspetion. Proud moment, enjoyed it, moved on.

I must be a strange teacher because while I "love" all my class I get the greatest satisfaction from the success of my "strugglers". Each small step is immensely rewarding.

Pointy

The thing is I didn't start from this position. I've been dealing with teachers for a decade now. I started from a position of absolute respect. Unfortunately I have a child with special needs. If you've ever had a child with special needs you'll know what I mean - check out the special needs talk boards; which is where I usually hang out.

But I'm trying not to bring all that baggage. I'm trying to use the right words so I don't annoy the teachers. I can't trust them, that's long gone, but I want to do the best for my girl.

Mitz,

Fair enough - I'm a relative newbie on MN so apologies to you.

Mitz

I realise that you have become disenchanted with teachers over the years, and I'm sure we have all come up against one or two personalities that we clash with, I know I have! But teachers are not all the same, and their attitudes can differ enormously.

In your OP you asked for advice on how to approach the teacher about your daughter. You say that you are keen not to annoy the teachers. IMO you need to push your feelings towards previous teachers aside and trust your DD's current teacher. Every child is different, every teacher is different, every situation is different. Wait until you have spoken to this particular teacher about this particular issue before you judge.

When I help out in DC class I also enjoy most when I manage to help the stragglers. So maybe my sweeping generalisation before isn't quite right... I still reckon that every teacher enjoys seeing their pupils excel.

Hmmmm.... re SN leading to damaged respect for teachers. I'm sorry it worked out like that for you Mitz. I have a difficult child, possibly has SN, that hasn't changed my attitude towards all teachers (I don't always deal with DS well either, nobody does). I hope that I'm not jaded and cynical about educators in 10 years.

OTOH, my respect for other some schoolgate parents because of how quick they are to judge gossip & label has plummeted... :(

Ragged, pointy, domesticsluttery..

I shall put a smile on my face and remember the mantra 'open questions' 'open questions' 'open questions'

LeQueen I think you should swap your dd for my yr 2 ds who refuses to do school or home work on the basis that if he does he'll just get more to do.

LeQueen compared to your adorable sounding dd you wouldn't know what hit you if you had my ds for a day.

What happens if you hothouse them at home... do they end up doing GCSEs at 11yo? Then A-levels at 13 and off to Uni? Seriously, unless child is very unhappy with too-easy schoolwork, what are the benefits of accelerating them up to their possible potential?