So what 'stereotypes' do I need to look for amongst the other parents at the school gates?

[Ceebee74]

Just wondering as I saw someone refer to a 'Queen Bee' on another thread and I thought ooh yes, I definitely know who that is at my DS's school'.

What others are there?

I am probably the 'harassed working mum'

PORN Star mum . that cant be right?? oh dear. terrible. bet the stay at home dads love her!!

Whitehorn there are some of those at DS's school but either they don't work or have a lot of help.

I'm the take me as you find me mum ! we have the typical glammed up straight hair wag mother teetering in heels and skin tight jeans, we have the pta mother sucking up to the teachers with flowers and chocolate etc,then we have the pushy never satisfied mother raging at her son for coming second instead of coming 1st, then we have the religous mother always looking at her watch dreading if shes late home for her hubby for his regular mans meetings.

Pernickety, we have a Dad who wears shorts all year round with shoes and socks

I dread to think which I am but it is probably somewhere between chaotic mum of unruly toddler, the shouting one, and the slightly hippy, not quite with it one.

In fact I'm sure I'm known as the crazy lady who usually is doing something nobody else would, gets stared at by the children, has problems finding a bloke because is totally odd, but really doesn't care much as life is so interesting...and I am also often in jods and covered in chicken shit.

Sorry

Mum of problem child, who is usually firmly excluded from all the little playground gaggles, chiefly because they want to be able to bitch about her child.

Sorry, I see that she already has a moniker- Head Down Mum.

It's a bloody hard audience, isn't it, the school gate?

According to some of the other mums in "The fat jolly one" yeah cheers for that

Have a nice snack, I'll be back later (maybe) to read this interesting-looking thread.

These have really made me laugh.

I am scruffy packhorse mum who isn't always in the mood to chat, because she's busy gawping at the other mums wondering how they manage to look so glam.

We have cross-dressing Dad
Boobs-always-out Mum
Competitive Mum (will pass on their condolences at your DC's poor level of attainment)
Competitive Dad (has a stop watch on sports day)
Dishy Dad (MUST.NOT.STARE.)
Army Dad
Police officer Mum and Dad
Paramedic Dad (always in uniform....suspect he's not a paramedic at all)

@ emergency pick up grandad asking where to get them!

What about Judgeypants mum? Plenty of these here it seem

Duchesse

We have a Head-down mum but she isn't excluded because her child is difficult. She just never speaks to anyone and seems to keep her head down on purpose. Since I have been there anyway.

And her child is quite difficult, fwiw, but nobody judges her about it. She is absolutely lovely when she speaks. People assume she doesn't want to though, she is really shy I think.

S'all right FA. Hasn't been a problem since I jumped tracks found the right school for him. I used to hang out with the other mum of difficult child in the same year. She was lovely, and so was her boy.

I'm the uber calm mum totally unfazed by anything that dd manages to do and surrounded by everybody else's kids because they seem to grasp the fact that I'm happier in the kids' company than the parents

My dc's go to a very inner-city school.

We have stained-tracksuit, smoking a roll-up mum. Dad has tattoos on in knuckles and comes to pick the kids up in between prison sentences.

Lots of what I call the West Indian 'wonder mums' (three or four kids, full-time shift workers, no help at home, always beautifully coiffed and dressed, never seen without blue-tooth headset)

Decent, sensible mum - kids ALWAYS washed and brushed, shining faces, never forgets gym bag or sends them to school in odd socks. Fusses too much over whether they keep their jumper on all day or not

The Primark Princesses - very young mums with more than 4 children: lots of disposable cash as on benefits but eat/live most of the time with their mums so hardly any bills to pay.

Err - old, mad, scruffy mums (like me) who know the names of everyone else's kids and are looked on with pity and horror by the primark princesses.

lol tittybangbang! Sounds like our school playground!

We have the chavvy Mums who look like Vicky Pollard out of Little Britain, who stand outside for a fag before bring their brats in, the ones who live 5 mins walk from school and are always late or not at all.

God, I sound like sensible Mum except DS won't let me brush his hair and makes him take a coat in whether its raining or not haha!

We have a "oh bugger where is my kid" mum. A bit dizzy always gets to end of road before realising she has forgotten one of her 2 children.

Also a "whats your problem" mum who glares at everyone from a distance.

Anybody else have a horde of Russian/Polish/Czech grandmothers who are all really sweet but who try and engage you in long conversations whilst being incapable of speaking the same language as the rest of you (in my case French as I live in France). We have a bunch of those and they are sweet but incomprehensible!

ROFL exactly same here gramercy! How funny, so irritating. Especially second time round.

We have:

• God Botherer Mums - not sure what they are like, I keep away
• Loads of I'm Going For A Very Long Run in my Designer Lycra and my Silly Stopwatch GPS Thingy and Full Make Up Mums
• Super Hovery Helicopter Mums - wafting books about, fussing, speaking to teacher endlessly in the doorway so no other kids get get in, fgs
• Mainly lots of friendly, nice people, who most of the time I don't mind a chat with, but sometimes am suddenly very interested in what preschool DD has to say so can't catch anyone's eye.

I saw skirt mum in the playground today! Was very excited - perhaps we could devise stereotype mum bingo.

Reading back I think I was 'Child-centred mum' the other day as my toddler did push his pram down the path (until I realised I had a queue of tutting parents behind us).

The traveller mums at DS's school fascinate me - they're young, skinny, immaculately dressed in designer gear and vertigenous heels, but they only talk to each other. Their children are equally immaculate; the girl babies are gold-earringed and white patent heeled and in strangely old-fashioned clothes (smocks and princess collared woollen coats). It's a pity there isn't much integration, really; I'd love to know more about how their lives work.

Oh God. I am 'Bugger where is my child' mum, too.

I really want to reel off a long list of everyone else but I don't want to be too caustic, and I know I will if I start!

I'm another 'shagged a dad ages ago and now he has a scary wife and his DS is in the same class as DD2 mum'. Thankfully she has no idea who i am!

Although i'm probably just 'tries to look nice and be kind to DCs but is really rather harrassed after spending all morning shouting' Mum.