thorny issue of a birthday party on a school night for 4-5 yos in Reception....

[Bigmouthstrikesagain]

Having built up a nice head of steam on the Child Benefit thread, I am now pondering my dd1's invite to a birthday party from one of her new classmates.

She is 4 1/2 goes to bed at 7pm (sleep by 8 at latest), she has only been in fulltime school for a few weeks still finds it tiring. So I am not very impressed that the birthday party she has been invited too is in another town (30+ mins drive), starts at 6.30pm till 8.30pm, and is on a school night (Thursday). Aside from the fact I would not want to be the teacher dealing with a bunch of overtired 4/5 yos the next day, I really think it is too late for such young children.

Am I being over anxious? The problem is that she will be sooo tired, it is one of those kidsworld places (soft play etc. I suppose) so lots of tired grumpy reception children hopped up on cake and sweets - sounds like a nightmare... really don't want her to miss out but why oh why did they have to choose an evening?

lol

DD is in Yr 3 and even we'd refuse that invitation on a school night - madness. We'd consider letting her go on a Saturday night but she wouldn't want to as it would clash with X Factor!

No need to correct my spelling Bigmouth... It is perfectly correct in Spanish..

As a one of late night what's the harm, my 5 year old would love it, I would assume they will get fed so just home and into bed afterwards.

Can't see the problem myself.

sorry camaleon - I am afraid it was the iphone correcting for me - gets on my nerves but I do not always notice.

Let her sleep late the next day and then take her into school when she wakes up. Won't hurt for one day (don't make a habit of it).

tis no good stretch - I don't think dh will be around, can't drive and have 2 other dc to look after - no easy solution to this one. If they had chosen friday night then might have been able to swing it.

"They would also consider very rude to set a time for the end of the party" Camaleon - if as it seems its at a soft play area for an organised party then it will be the venue not the parent that set the end time. And if parents work (like me) they generally do the parties at a weekend.

I have no problme wiht DS being up as late as he likes in teh long summer evenings when he has no school in teh morning but dark drizzly October nights with an early start just as they are getting used to school? No chance.

"Let her sleep late the next day and then take her into school when she wakes up. Won't hurt for one day (don't make a habit of it)."

our school would go ballistic. even in reception.

Oh god I wouldn't want to be the class teacher for that one the next day - they're all going to be ratty as hell!

Kewcumber,

I understand perfectly well that is not rude. It is pretty normal here and obviously inevitable if the party is not in the house. My point was that the parents may have a complete different concept on how parties work.

It is a receptionn child. It is possible that they have not been in many other birthday parties and think it is a pretty reasonable/standard time.

Many other scenarios are plausible.

The probability that these parents are organising the party thinking of what is best for everybody is pretty high. I would say higher than the probability of them wanting to be difficult and destroy the nerves of the teacher.

But you never know... perhaps it is only a good strategy to guarantee a low number of guests and to be talked about in MN

Camaleon - with respect I do appreciate that you are trying to put forward an alternative view of the reasons for the timing fir the party. However my assumption is either they have no alternative due to availability of venue/ work commitments or they are trying to fit a party in before half term and weekends are not convenient.

That does not change the fact that my own limitations - two other children to look after, inability to drive and dh who returns from work late in the evening make it nigh on impossible to enable dd to attend. I will hold no resentment towards them I am just sorry that dd will miss out.

its very late for this age group. DS would fall asleep on the way there with a half hour car journey.

Well Bmsa... it was you who posted under the 'primary education' topic your 'thorny issue', i.e., 'why did they have to choose an evening?'
Sorry I can perfectly see reasons for it. And in anycase is not your child's birthday they are organising.
You have very valid reasons to stay at home. If you want everybody to reassure that in this country a birthday party at 6.30 on a Thursday for 4/5 yo is not standard practice, be reassured. It is not.

"our school would go ballistic. even in reception." Agree amaidawish and more to the point (IMHO) I do not want DS to think that its OK to miss time at school so he can go to a random childs late birthday party. ON that basis there will be all sorts of things that DS could go to in the week which "won't hurt for one day".

Our local soft play shuts at 6.30 in teh week - I'm amazed that they will book parties so late.

Yes I did. It is thorny, I did not want to refuse an invite unreasonably and did want to hear from parents with primary aged children whether they would allow their child to attend a party on a weekday evening? Still not sure what is bothering you so much about that but here I am replying when I should stfu.

OP, there is no way either of my DS's would be attending a birthday party on a weeknight from 6.30-8.30 not home till 9!

PMSL at this thread.

(in case anyone still cares, I would not have considered letting ds go to a party a this time in reception)

No.Way.

I think I might go a step further and ask the parents in a non confrontational way about their choice of party time. If, as camaleon says, they are unaware of the issues it may cause children/parents/teachers, it would be kind to give them the heads up.

apparently our school had something to say when the kids came into school with tatoos on their hands from one birthday party and parent was told to do something which washed off this year! I can quite envisage them "telling off" the parent for such a late party!