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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

thorny issue of a birthday party on a school night for 4-5 yos in Reception....

70 replies

Bigmouthstrikesagain · 04/10/2010 14:03

Having built up a nice head of steam on the Child Benefit thread, I am now pondering my dd1's invite to a birthday party from one of her new classmates.

She is 4 1/2 goes to bed at 7pm (sleep by 8 at latest), she has only been in fulltime school for a few weeks still finds it tiring. So I am not very impressed that the birthday party she has been invited too is in another town (30+ mins drive), starts at 6.30pm till 8.30pm, and is on a school night (Thursday). Aside from the fact I would not want to be the teacher dealing with a bunch of overtired 4/5 yos the next day, I really think it is too late for such young children.

Am I being over anxious? The problem is that she will be sooo tired, it is one of those kidsworld places (soft play etc. I suppose) so lots of tired grumpy reception children hopped up on cake and sweets - sounds like a nightmare... really don't want her to miss out but why oh why did they have to choose an evening?

OP posts:

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camaleon · 04/10/2010 16:35

I would insist on the nationality...
My Spanish peers (in Spain, I do not have Spanish friends here) would think it is mental to have a party at 3 pm. Really mental. You are meant to have lunch around 1.30-2 pm, snack around 5-6 and dinner by 8-9. So every birthday will start after 6. In summer, high temperatures may impose a later start. They would also consider very rude to set a time for the end of the party.

Or perhaps the parents work and cannot make it earlier. You decide if you want to go or not. Why do you need a bunch of people to tell you you are RIGHT and this people are just weirdos making your precious and proper organised life difficult.

teacherspet33 · 04/10/2010 18:02

That's a bit harsh Camaleon! People generally post here for advice or opinion....don't see why this topic isn't valid....

FattyArbuckel · 04/10/2010 18:04

TBH I wouldn't let my 11 year old go to a party this late on a school night.

Say no. There will be a hell of a lot of other parties in reception year and your dd will not miss out!

Original poster

Bigmouthstrikesagain · 04/10/2010 18:35

Umm thanks for your input chameleon - certainly in Mediterranean countries it makes perfect sense to party late into the night with family and friends with no thought to the end time - very different climate etc but really fail to see what that has to do with a timed party in a play centre in the uk!!??

I posted as I wondered if I was being too uptight about wanting to refuse the party invite, fortunately I was confirmed in my opinion, but I had no particular expectations.

Still don't let reality that get in the way of your picture of me as a repressed control freak

OP posts:

Original poster

Bigmouthstrikesagain · 04/10/2010 18:39

The drive will be the same for all People who live in the county town go to school there not in our village iyswim?

OP posts:

magicmummy1 · 04/10/2010 18:42

No, this is too late on a school night.

My dd needs very little sleep, and copes comparatively well when she has been up late, so she would probably manage in this situation, but I think it's absolute madness to hold a party for such small children at that time of night. What were the parents thinking of?

orienteerer · 04/10/2010 18:45

I wouldn't accept an invite for DS for that party...and he's 8!

letsblowthistacostand · 04/10/2010 18:52

Perhaps they were hoping for a high rejection rate?

Sparkletastic · 04/10/2010 19:00

Dear Lord no - you'd be dealing with the consequences for days afterwards.

dilemma456 · 04/10/2010 19:58

No I'd most likely reject this unless it was for a very close friend and DD was likely to be upset by missing it

cat64 · 04/10/2010 20:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

rabbitstew · 04/10/2010 20:29

I'd be worried the poor kid whose party it was would feel that no-one liked him or her if everyone reacted that way to his or her invite - after all, it's not the child's fault it's a stupid time for a party. Unless my dd said she didn't even like the child concerned, anyway, I'd probably therefore phone the parent concerned (presuming she gave a number for RSVPing) and ask if it was OK to leave the party a little bit early (eg half an hour or so...), as I thought my dd wouldn't cope with such a late night on a school night. I'd then take pyjamas and a toothbrush to the play area if necessary, so that I could have my dd ready for bed and hopefully sleeping in the car on the return journey!!!!!!!!! Or at least do something to find out why the party is at such an odd time (and whether they are expecting you to have eaten before you go, or will they be providing food???), rather than just make up excuses and decline the invitation (which seems a tiny bit heartless to me).

veritythebrave · 04/10/2010 20:29

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

DastardlyandSmugly · 04/10/2010 20:44

DS has been in reception a few weeks and is also very tired when he comes home, however, I would make the effort to take him to this party because I'd be worried that the child might end up with few people there. Like rabbitstew I'd also take pjs and a toothbrushso he could sleep on the way home.

ChasingSquirrels · 04/10/2010 20:59

my reception ds2 wouldn't be going.

And re the school performance at 6.30pm in Dec, I am seriously considering him not going to that either. And he isn't my pfb (who in fact would and did cope perfectly well with it, as his sleep requirements as lower than average).

ruddynorah · 04/10/2010 21:04

no way. dd is upstairs getting ready for bed at 6.30. my 7 she's asleep. she could stretch to 7.30, but would struggle to be up in the morning. no way on a school night.

Original poster

Bigmouthstrikesagain · 04/10/2010 21:34

Rabbitstew and chasingsquirrels - I do see your points but I am not making up excuses - my dh is the only driver he doesn't get home from work till after 7 most nights and frequently later. I am not going to be able to take dd myself and if we could get a lift I would still have to drag her 2 siblings with me.

Ironically I had been so focused on the time of the party, I had not considered the practicalities of getting her there - know I have it seems I actually can't take her even if I wanted too.

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Clary · 04/10/2010 21:41

I agree with others, 8.30 finish too late.

DS2 is 7, in yr 3 and our third child (so allowed a lot more leeway ) but even he is in bed before then.

Maybe in the hols he is up later, but midweek in term time, no way. Beavers finishes at 7pm and that is about the limit as far as being out and busy goes.

So for reception, no way.

LOL @ too late for 11yo tho - DS1 is 11 and his Scouts finishes at 9.30pm!

ChasingSquirrels · 04/10/2010 21:49

ehh - I was agreeing with you??

systemsaddict · 04/10/2010 21:57

Madness. My son's just started reception and has gone from messing around in his room at bedtime until 9, to pleading to have lights out at 7. We absolutely wouldn't be able to go to this sort of party, especially if soft play, he'd end up having a screaming meltdown in the ball pool ...

mazzystartled · 04/10/2010 21:58

I think the parents of the birthday kid are mad. But it's a one off. The children will cope. Though the teacher may not.

cat64 · 04/10/2010 22:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster

Bigmouthstrikesagain · 04/10/2010 22:16

Doh sorry squirrels viewing posts on phone and got mixed up - maybe cos I put squirrels and rabbits together in my v tired head

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FanjolinaJolie · 04/10/2010 22:20

I have never heard of such a late party time for that age range.

DD1 is six and still the parties are no later than 6pm but most parties are during the day time.

rabbitstew · 04/10/2010 22:27

I should imagine squirrels viewing posts on the phone would get mixed up. They ought to be out collecting acorns and seeds for the winter, not viewing photos on your mobile, she said facetiously.

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