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Tutor for Year 1?

103 replies

Sammiez · 11/09/2010 17:05

Hi,

I am contemplating getting a tutor for my Yr 1 dd who has been in the UK for a year now. Her level of understanding of English bothers me and this affects her comprehension sometimes;maths,etc. I am worried that now she has gone into Yr1 it might be an issue. I have become so worried about this and now find it so hard to help her at home. I snap,cry,get frustrated. I have put her off reading already now. She will read but won't get into the book and enjoy it. To be honest,she hates reading:(

Plus the areas they are expected to cover is,to me, mind boggling! Geography,science and tech,etc... I,personally think this is too much for 5-7year olds. I sometimes have no clue what is expected of me. But this is where we live now so have to adapt.

I don't know what to do. I thought not to bother anymore and just let her manage with school which is what kids this age in my country do but the scope here scares me and makes me feel one has to be on ones toes. Is this so or am I paranoid now out of fear? Or do I get a tutor and see how it goes?

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Sammiez · 15/09/2010 11:54

Thank you ZZZenAgain.

I really hope the teacher will be helpful too...

I will try to keep reading to them. I will also ask her teacher about watching/helping out in the class. I had considered it but my dd is so 'sparky' to quote her reception teacher that I feel my presence could interfere with her concentration plus I have a two year old as well who is at homw with me.

Maybe the key is when you read to her to not read too much, read something exciting (daring girls, adventure) and not analyse it much.

How long should reading take for 6year olds? Sorry how do you mean 'analyse' it too much? These are some of the skills I am hoping to acquire so I know what to do? I have bought and read so many books on parenting and helping kids learn that my OH is beginning to worry about money and space Blush

When she is reading,how much do I correct? How do I encourage her to listen to herself read? Is it too much to expect from a 6year old? Sometimes she reads something and says, 'that doesn't make any sense' and goes back to see if she skipped something but sometimes
she reads on so I ask her to do it again telling her to listen to herself.

Thanks a lot!

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cory · 15/09/2010 12:01

"Maybe the key is when you read to her to not read too much, read something exciting (daring girls, adventure) and not analyse it much."

I think Zzen possibly meant when you read aloud to her, not when you're listening to her read. I think reading aloud to children is a great educational tool, because it is so subtle; you don't have to tell them that it's education at all.

I am reading Treasure Island to ds atm (far too scary for 6yo but just right for 10yo). Just trying to read it as well as I can to make it exciting, and to make him see that I share that sense of excitement.

Sammiez · 15/09/2010 12:08

Hi Cory, just read your post! Thanks.

Must have been hard for you at the time. I must say welldone to you for coming out of it even though in a way I do envy you that you have survived it Grin

Thanks for sharing your story,encouraging! I feel better since starting this thread and it took me a long time to get round it!

Thank you! I am sure things will work out here too if I can just work on enjoying my kids as they are.
I will keep reading to her. May I ask what magazine she subcribed to? My girls loves drawing and 'making'(junk modelling). It is her favourite thing to do in the world but do not know how that could help with her reading as she won't bother to read the instructions. Sometimes she reads them but doesn't understand. She is quite 'good' at reading but has lost interest so is slower now.

Thanks Cory,your story is quite encouraging.

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ZZZenAgain · 15/09/2010 12:08

lol I know about books invading the home and all that!

I mean when you read to your dd, just let it flow, so she picks up on the pleasure you have in reading to her and she is simply enjoying a good story and cosy time with mum and it doesn't feel particularly school-like or obviously an educational activity.I would still explain voaculary she does not know or let her interrupt anytime to talk about it. Just read a few pages if you like. There need be no tension or stress in you reading to her.

Your paragraph about how to work with dd when she reads to you, I would present to your teacher. Just like that. It is getting stressed, you feel dd is being put off and you need to know the mechanics of how to go about it. See what your teacher says. When dd was 6, I read the Little House on the Prairie books to her and she loved them. Would your dd like that type of thing? It's beyond what she could read to herself atm perhaps and in this way, like Cory says, you show her what lies ahead in reading , whets her appetite a bit.

When dd was learning to read, I could get tense but what I tried to do was let her read a little at a time, praise her a lot. I would correct a word that was mispronounced. End with praise. Tell her you're enjoying the story. What is she reading for school atm?

Sammiez · 15/09/2010 12:34

School books-Oxford reading tree and yesterday Ridby stars.

They get changed weekly. Yesterday,it was a book tittled, 'Monsters'. She also has non-fiction sometimes.

I have read her some Roald Dahl books-Fantastic Mr Fox,etc. I have bought some audio CDs -Roald Dahl again,some Enid Blyton,Charlie and Lola-but she finds it boring sitting for too long listening to them. Is this normal in 6year olds? I want to know so I am not expecting too much.

Thanks Cory and ZZZenagain.

Cory,were your kids born here or had to come here when they were older? Did they ever struggle with understanding english?

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ZZZenAgain · 15/09/2010 12:39

I think she does not have to sit and listen to them Sammiez, just play with them on in the background.

My dd would spend hours building lego and listening to audio tapes (her favourites) over and over in the background.

Let us know how the talk with the teacher goes if you have time.

ZZZenAgain · 15/09/2010 12:46

flashkids

maybe if you want to pick up the reading/comprehension again later, she might like these little books.Really bite-sized.

With my own dd I use a very academically rigorous and at the same time very unabashedly Catholic publisher's books atm. My dd loves them and rises to the challenge but I don't think they sound right for where your dd is at just now. I have to see what I had for when she was 6 if that would be any use to you.

Sammiez · 15/09/2010 12:51

I would appreciate that very much,thank you!

Thanks for the link too. Will have a look now.

Meeting teacher tomorrow afternoon hopefully as she has had to move it forward.
Thanks

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ZZZenAgain · 15/09/2010 12:54

hthese here

when dd was younger, I used the grade 2 and grade 3 book in this series and she was happy to work with them. They read a page and answer multiple choice questions for comprehension. Not difficult. Later on in the books they have short paragraphs with multiple choice questions to work on inference and so on. They are a bit more challenging than the other little books I linked to before. Topics IIRC were things like the Titanic, Neil Armstrong, Taj Mahal, little interesting facts. My dd quite liked using them.

ZZZenAgain · 15/09/2010 12:57

sorry

my advice would be when you do start on it again, start with something easy and do just a wee bit, so she feels positive and successful about her achievements.

Gradually build up the level of difficulty rather than go for books that look impressive but put her off by being too difficult IYSWIM.

Sammiez · 15/09/2010 17:14

Do you shop on amazon.com? These books are only available for pre-order(what does that mean please?) on amazon.co.uk.

I feel so much more positive now. I went to a charity shop today and I bought flash cards called 'English age 4-5' and she picked them up reading and I looked away. They ask questions about words that rhyme,what letter is missing,etc.

Thanks again

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ZZZenAgain · 15/09/2010 17:27

it actually sounds to me as if you and she are doing a great job tbh. Try not to worry too much (ha! famous last words). Good luck tomorrow. Stay positive, you can do this.

I tend to look on amazon.com (the US site) because they more often have the facility to look inside the book and view sample pages (not in those particular examples). When it says you need to pre-order, it just means they don't have them in stock in the UK warehouse at the moment, although they are in stock in other amazon stores (say France, US) so they can get them to you IYSWIM. I don't tend to order from amazon.com because the postage fees are so high.

magicmummy1 · 15/09/2010 23:19

Hi Sammiez - really glad to know that you're feeling a bit more positive today. :) I think you've had some great advice from people, and I totally agree with ZZZenAgain that it sounds like you're actually doing a fantastic job already. I hope that the meeting with the teacher goes well tomorrow - do come back and let us know how you get on.

You mentioned some of the books that you have been reading to your dd, and you said that she hadn't really enjoyed them that much. I have tried both Enid Blyton/Roald Dahl with dd because I loved these writers as a kid. However, she hasn't really been that interested in either of them.:( She did like Charlie and Lola for a long time, but seems to think it's a bit "babyish" now. What she has really enjoyed recently are the Pippi Longstocking stories and the Worst Witch series - perhaps they could be worht a try for your dd! Grin

As for magazines, I guess it's worth trying anything that captures her interest - take her to the supermarket and see if she likes the look of any of them. Likewise with books from the library. The reading scheme books which children get from school are deadly boring in my view - enough to put anyone off reading for life. :( Perhaps she might be more interested if she could choose books from the library - but again, don't go into overkill if she isn't interested.

Honestly speaking, though, Sammiez, I am more worried about you than I am about your dd - from all that you have said, it sounds like she is doing really well, and that's not surprising because she clearly has an absolutely fabulous mummy who will do whatever it takes to give her a good start in life! But you sound so lonely and unhappy. :( It doesn't have to be that way, and I really agree with the poster who said that you need to do something to look after yourself. Raising kids is hard, and you have to reach inside yourself for all sorts of reserves that you never knew existed, but you also need a decent support network around you as well. I have really felt this myself, as we moved across the country last year for my job, and for the first few months, I desperately missed the support that I had grown used to having around me. And when you're struggling to do all that in a foreign country, it must be so much harder to cope.

I do so hope that you can somehow find a way to get out and meet people - maybe a book group or evening class, as someone else suggested? Or maybe the PTA at your dd's school? Or maybe just invite some of your dd's friends around to play and try to get to know the mums a bit more. The mums of children in my dd's class meet up for a meal one evening a month, and we all really enjoy it - it started off very informally with one of the mums trying to organise a get-together before Christmas, and it just sort of grew from there. Could you perhaps club together with one of the other parents to organise something like this? You might find that many of the other mums really welcome the initiative.

It may feel like you have been here a lifetime, but a year is still very early days and it's quite normal to feel like a fish out of water at this stage - have you read much about culture shock and how it can affect people? I lived abroad for eight years, and I think it took a good two or three years in the new country before I really started to feel more comfortable about stuff. I think the important thing to keep in mind is that it will get better with time - this country may never feel quite like home, but you will get more used to life in the UK, and you will start feeling more normal eventually. I don't know if it's any comfort, but my OH was really depressed in his first year here, and I really thought we'd made a huge mistake in coming back. He still dislikes some things about Britain, and probably always will, but he is so much more settled now - he has managed to build a life here for himself. :)

Which part of the UK are you in, Sammiez? (Quite understand if you prefer not to say :) )

Sammiez · 16/09/2010 10:55

The best support I have received since coming here is the one I have got on this thread. I am being very honest here and I hope you ladies believe it. I have benefitted from it so much that I am 'afraid' to look everyday,afraid of not getting your words of support and encouragement. Thanks a lot! Yesterday I actually had fun with my daughter and we did puzzles while the Enid Blyton CD was playing in the background and she was listening at the same time and wasn't bored(Thanks ZZZenagain).

I have attempted friendships with other mums in my daughter's class but a lot of them don't work out or maybe that is the best they can give and I am only expecting the friendships to look like the ones we have in Africa. Some mums do not even respond to a simple greeting of 'hello'. I am quite used to this now so not doesn't have the same effect as it had when we just got here(we are in Hertfordshire. Are you anywhere near us?). I might ask at my local Surestart about bookclubs,etc.

I am sorry to hear that your husband was depressed when he just got here. I am battling depression right now with anti-depressants and I want to stop using them because they give me a false feel of relief so want to try counselling.It is not a funny place to be,being depressed I mean.

I am more optimistic now and I hope it lasts!

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Sammiez · 16/09/2010 10:57

By the way,teacher said to see her tomorrow morning. She was quite patient so I hope I can express myself and stick to the points.

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piprabbit · 16/09/2010 11:07

Hi sammiez - just read your thread, and you seem to be much more positive now.

I was wondering if there are any chances for you to volunteer in the school? Perhaps escorting children on school trip, going in to the classroom and lending a hand to the teacher (I've spent a few afternoons mounting pictures on paper ready for display - while busily listening to what the children are being taught and how).

If it is possible, then it might help you are your DD in a number of ways:

  1. Your DD will see you taking a positive interest in her school life.
  2. You will be more informed about how your DD is being taught.
  3. You'll be able to chat with your DD about work you've seen going on
  4. You will have a new/better relationship with teacher which might make it easier to raise your concerns
  5. You may get to meet other mums and have a chat with them
  6. It's fun.

Please ignore me if you think it's a rubbish idea though.

Sammiez · 16/09/2010 11:28

Piprabbit,not rubbish ideas at all. I am going to see the teacher about volunteering or doing background stuff like photocopying or mounting posters,etc. Thanks for contributing. Thanks for reading the thread,impressed!

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Niecie · 16/09/2010 11:30

Hi Sammiez - Sorry for jumping in at this late stage but a tiny thing caught my eye and I just wanted to offer a little bit of reassurance.

You said that your DD sounded everything out and needed to read faster. My DS2 (who has just started Yr 2) was just like that in Yr 1. He sounded things out that he really didn't need to sound out and it spoiled the flow and the speed of his reading. Like you I got a bit worried about it (and a bit frustrated too if I'm honest) but he suddenly grew out of it. Almost overnight it stopped and now he sounds like he can really read. It can just click. Partly I think it is a confidence thing. They don't realise they know as much as they do and that they can read. I didn't really have to do anything to help the process, just wait for him to sound out and if he got it wrong tell him the right word. It is extremely hard to take a step back when they appear to be struggling though.

Can I also second magicmummy that you sound more in need of help than your DD. You sound to me (and forgive me if I have got it all wrong) that you need a focus outside of your children. It could be anything, a job, a course of study or a hobby but you sound like you need something for just for you. It would help to take your focus off your children and also help to meet people too. I moved across the country when my DS1 was small and I know how isolating it was. It must be 10 times worse if you move continents. I ended up doing an evening class and I think it did me good but whatever you would enjoy, anything would help.

Or another thought, how about offering to help in your DC's school? You would maybe learn more about who things are done in schools here and that might also put your mind at ease.

I would also agree wholeheartedly with the view that you sound like you are doing a fantastic job.[smile}

Sammiez · 16/09/2010 11:44

Hmmm... I have been quite afraid and maybe ashamed of admitting on here that I have nothing else to do besides what I do now. I was asked this when I was assessed for counselling and I couldn't answer because I think I 'lost' myself a long time ago. I do not remember if I have ever had any hobbies.

Thank you Niecie. Quite a number of you have mentioned evening classes now... Are they like courses or something? Are they affordable? Got a two year old as well...

Sorry to ask so many 'obvious' questions.

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piprabbit · 16/09/2010 11:58

is a link to the adult community learning course list for my area in Essex. It'll give you flavour of the sort of things available - although you'll need to track down your local adult learning centre for where you live. let me know roughly where you are if you need a hand finding this information.

Courses might be just a day, or run weekly for a term. Some of the daytime courses have creches available for you DD. You can get qualifications, do sewing, make jewellery, do yoga and sports, find out about local history, retrain for a new career, basically pretty much whatever you fancy at a variety of prices and time commitements.

piprabbit · 16/09/2010 12:00

Blast - bad link, let me try again:

secureweb2.essexcc.gov.uk/TermsOnline/AvailableCoursesList.asp

Niecie · 16/09/2010 12:03

The cost depends on the course - could be anything from £30 - £150. Some can be free though. Our council runs free computer courses for example to learn about the internet and word processing etc.

Mostly they are in the evening but not always and some places have a creche. Now is the time to sign up. This term's courses start in the next couple of weeks.

Could you do a Saturday? In our area you can do family courses or even one day (10 - 3pm so not a whole day) courses, usually in a craft or computers. Whatever interests you really. Have a look at the website for your local college - there should be info there. Or visit the libray and there should be leaflets.

Do you do toddler groups with your 2 yr old? Some people hate them but it is a way of meeting people and helped me a lot when I moved to an area where I knew nobody. They take a bit of perseverance though.

Sammiez · 16/09/2010 21:43

Niecie,I take my 2year old to a toddler group from time to time. Haven't done any since September though.
We are in herts piprabbit.

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piprabbit · 16/09/2010 21:59

Try some of these sites as a start:

www.webenrol.com/hertfordshire/
hertfordshire.floodlight.co.uk/hertfordshire/courses-classes-lessons/best-subject-courses/adult-learning/study/region/16180339/220706/100/domain.html

I hope all goes well when you meet the teacher in the morning.

Sammiez · 16/09/2010 22:02

Thank you. Hope so too...

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