Light-hearted mutual support thread about kids who don't do so well in school?

[ragged]

I wonder if that might be possible?
I don't really want heavy duty advice or "You must be doing something wrong, here DO THIS instead" tone.
Just thought it might be nice for those of us with expasperating children you know, we're seemingly always getting to chat with the teacher after school might get to swap notes, moan and laugh a bit about it all.

Any other takers?

DS has a hospital appointment soon so have to take him out of school for a session - he will be going back this afternoon.

Never, ever has a hospital appointment been soooooo keenly anticipated - oh joy, the planning that was done by the little chap just before he went to sleep last night!

Has dental appointment after school this evening - imagine the disappointment - OMG, the end of the world - eat into valuable Club Penguin time rather than during school time - I am the worlds worst mother .

My DS has a doctor's appointment every Friday morning for the foreseeable future, he is absolutely ecstatic, gets him out of his spelling test which he absolutely hates with a passion.

They could do anything to him in that doctor's appointment but as long as it's not spellings he doesn't care.

Poor little DS SOV he just wants to share the joy of Mario.

I am so glad that my friend picked my DC up tonight rather than me so I avoided a "chat" (although it will still happen in the morning).

DS2 was doing so well this term, he managed a whole 4 days without getting into trouble... and then today he hits another boy for absoloutely no reason. Apparently they were pretending to hit each other but he forgot the pretending bit. So he had a huge row, and spent his lunchbreak sitting outside the head's office.

And it was all going so well!

Domesticsluttery - think positive - we are nearer to the weekend than we were yesterday!

Oh btw took DC to dentist after school. DD model child. DS - well - he had hiccups - those really really loud ones that hurt and take you by surprise - in the dentists chair. Dentist politely tried to forge ahead by trying to pin him down whilst doing the whooshy airy thing. DS's first time with whooshy airy thing. In his defence, he is very ticklish. He could not stop giggling and his body was contorted to such a degree that his foot hit the overhead light. I quietly wished the ground would open up and swallow me - DD looked embarrassed, this was not cool.

Cured his hiccups though .

To cap it off nicely, he ejected himself out of the dentists chair by pretending it was a slide, complete with the weeeeeeee.

We all retreated quickly out of the treatment room with the dentist shouting - 3 months then - will he be back in 3 months - please may I be on holiday!

Had a good afternoon at school though - apart from losing his fleece (ah, another £18!).

How long is it till half term...?

I know a lady who gets pulled up by the teacher a lot after school about her 7yo DS... anyway, just discovered that the 7yo DS has a very rare bone growth problem, and has probably been in a lot of pain for years (!). Poor mite, he's now on strong painkillers and the mom says he's become very mellow, it's like a personality transplant she said.

I've come up with a plan about the high protein snacks that might help DS calm down -- bribery .

ragged - surely you mean 'incentivisation' . Works almost every time!!

Thanks for recommendation of anger management book - I will try anything!

DS suffers from impulsive behaviour, short temper, weak social skills (wanting to give kids inappropriate hugs), a lack of awareness of personal space, and a slightly variable attention span (can read a book for hours, but will switch off in subjects that don't interest him - don't think he's learnt any French in two years!). He is however very bright (I am told) and therefore frustrates teachers because he appears to have lots of potential that is just not really being fulfilled. Last year I was pulled up in the very first week for a number of misdemeanours and DS was well acquainted with the head teacher's office on a regular basis (in fact, once he snuck off). Lots of problems with other boys ganging up on him - they quickly learnt he had a "short fuse" and could be relied on to react instantly and hence get into trouble.

I have found it socially isolating (other children don't want to play with him or come round for play dates; other mums tend to keep away as they are more interested in socialising with mums of kids that can play together) and frustrating that he earned a rather dreadful reputation for violent behaviour which was somewhat undeserved as he is not mean or given to bullying, just rather short-tempered.

Anyway, this year we have moved him to a school with smaller classes to give him a fresh start - so far (less than a week) it seems to have gone OK. But the idea of some exercises to help cultivate more socially acceptable behaviour seems great! more positive stuff like this please!

Oh no Ragged, the poor little boy!

Bone growth problems probably effected his fine motor skills etc too, DS2 is borderline for growth hormone defficiency and his bone age is about 12-18 months behind what it should be. This means that he is very small for his age, and also that he was slower with things like writing, pedalling a bike etc.

I spoke to his teacher tonight and he had a good today and got 3 stars on his star chart. She also said she had a chat with a couple of boys in his class who had been being mean to him about his size, so I'm wondering if that was upsetting him and making him lash out.

Fingers crossed he finishes the week well.

Well ladies, the weekend is upon us .

Don't know about you but the latter part of my week was quite quiet!!

Had a Calpol breakfast - muuum, got a headache - this morning and was shovelled into school. And that was it - nothing.

Been to Street Dance, and that was it - nothing. Mmmmmmmm?!?

Have a good one everyone.

I love the dentist visit story, MI-Hi. :)
DS said today that he almost likes school .
What a difference a new teacher can make?!

They are starting a toast club at school for kids like DS who sometimes fail to eat any brekkie.

I know what you mean FlorenceUk about having a DS who gets a "reputation" -- I try to laugh it off but sometimes it hurts :(.

Can I join in too?

DD2 has had IEPs and I had to go to meetings etc while she was at playgroup because she didn?t seem to pay attention, make friends, make much eye contact or talk to peers and playgroup staff ~ this was despite her being the most forward of all 3 of my DDs! She started school and almost straight away, started making friends and the school worked on her eye contact and language/talking to adults. About 12-14 months ago, the school stopped giving her IEPs and I thought that would be that. Her teacher mentioned at parents evening in February (by now, she was in Year2) that she tended to get distracted and she had to be reminded to ?stay focused? but there wasn?t any indication that it was that bad.

She?s now in Year 3 and I got called to see her teacher yesterday (who is also the SENCO for the school), and told that they?re putting her back on the Educational Plans. Her math?s results for the Key Stage 1 tests came out at a Level P7 (and that was ?a very poor P? according to her teacher) because when she?s left on her own, her mind wanders and she gets distracted. So she?s now getting extra 1-1 help for her maths. Her other results were Level 1 for Science and speaking and listening but at the same time, this is the child that can write brilliant stories and has an active imagination ~ her Reading and writing were at the expected level! It?s always the same with DD2, she knows how to do the work and can get on with it when she?s in a 1-1 situation (like at home, of course there?s no problem getting her to do work at home!) but once she?s at school, she gets distracted.

But her teacher then laid into me about practicing times tables and reading comprehension; that when she reads (her reading is excellent, her last teacher always said that she?d never heard such expression in a child DD2s age!), I should ask questions about what she?s read to see if she?s understood it. This really depressed me (actually had me in tears!) because I?ve always listened to DDs read, read to them every evening and talked about the book/pictures. The thought crossed my mind afterwards that maybe DDs teacher knows that the school should have carried on/re-started the IEP?s but it?s better/easier to lay into me, rather than admit that the school failed to give her help.

Anyway, I know I?m going to dread before and after school, and the words, ?Mrs W, can I have a quick word?? (total of those so far ~ 3 in 8 days!)

Hello Petunia welcome to our group. Hopefully your daughter will get the help quickly and then get back on course. I remember bursting into tears in a meeting with the teacher and headmistress when they presented me with all DS's problems. Of course at home in a one on one situation he was fine, so I didn't really have any idea what they were talking about.

All these children sound like they've got great imaginations, the teachers and educational psychologists have all said that DS should spend less time thinking up stories and more time in the real world - imagination is bad! I just think well there's a good education wasted, really how can imagination be bad.

I too loved the dentist story.

Took DS today to sign him up for some extra groups, have found a theatre group where he will learn to sing and dance and put on a musical comedy at the end of the year - DS will love that, signed him up to cubs too hoping that they might teach him some common sense.

DS2 got football!

WTF ~ thank you for your welcome. I know when playgroup said to me years ago that DD2 wasn't making friends/listed her problems, I was left thinking, "What are they talking about?" Oh well, we'll see what happens now, whether things improve after her having more 1-1 help.

It's awful that you've been told that your DS should stop making up stories. Where do schools think that the next JK Rowling will come from if children are told to 'stop making up stories!?'

Got pulled in by DS's teacher this morning, she was going on about how disorganised he was, he was in tears in the car saying she always shouts at him, so after a promising start it looks like it's going to be another year of the same old stuff. It was a nice first week though.

Oh no WTF - nice to have a week though - don't they say that the best things come in small packages?

Well I'm really sad tonight. DS is an enigma at the best of times and has always been and will almost certainly remain as being a very solitary chappie. When (clutching at straws) I moved him to a new school he found a friend - opposite ends of the academic (DS struggles with most everything) scale but a friend non the less. His school life improved exponentially. He started YR3 last week and he has been allowed to sit with his new friend.

He was quiet when I picked him up tonight and in the car he started to cry (doesn't normally do emotion so I knew something serious was up). Turns out his best and only friend is leaving for America. I cried too .

I foresee a massive regression ahead.

Don't you just really feel for them?

Something funny happened over the weekend though .

Decided to make the most of the weather and dragged DC out (kicking and screaming quite literally) for a day at Blists Hill Victorian Village in Ironbridge.

Upon arrival, with the bribe promise of some old fashioned money to spend in the village, we all entered the victorian butchers shop.

Hanging up in there was a pair of stuffed pair of rabbits, pair of pheasants, pair of pigeons, and pair of hares. DS stared up at them and went very quiet . He then asked "where are the dogs?" Quiet sniggers from all around as he turned to look at us. "Why do you ask that . We don't eat dogs in this country."
"What about Hot Dogs?" at which point he turned and flounced out of the victorian butchers and along the victorian cobbled street.

The place collapsed!

Good times .

EM poor little DS to lose his friend, my DS is the same no friends, but he did get invited to his first ever birthday party this week, he's very excited. He's old enough now to realise all the children have an invite except him so he was absolutely over the moon to get an invite. Of course now he wants to buy the best present ever.

That's a very funny story about the hot dogs, it's cracked me up.

mm my anger management book seems to be on a slow post from Amazon - not due until 22 August!

DS went on bushcamp last week, came home dirty, exhausted and with broken glasses, and having had a fight on the bus home. Had a talk to teacher and he appeared to spend a great deal of time arguing with other kids. Cue lots of lecturing from us over the weekend on how he needs to get on with others esp given we have gone to a lot of trouble to give him a fresh start. But just not sure if it will work - how do you teach a kid social skills when he seems to be lacking in any emotional intelligence? I'm sure we are going about this the wrong way - he is such an argumentative s*d.

petunia, your dd sounds rather like mine with her imagination/distractibility! I'm concerned for dd now she's started yr 3, because already the homework/extra work is coming in - and we're only just over 1 week in! dd is already getting upset over it. She's more behind than your dd in that she got level 1's across the board for KS1 sats. In yr 2 she did get extra help and had IEPs, and I was assured this would continue - but so far, dd says there aren't any TAs in class. We listen to her read most days, but so far they haven't done it in class at all. Early days yet I know - I'll give it a week or two then ask to speak to the teacher (she is very nice). This week's homework, we've not managed to complete (there was a lot), due to being away at the weekend.

Well, DD2 says she's concentrating and listening more in class now and that her teacher has noticed it too! We'll wait and see on that one!

Yesterday, DD came out with a slip of paper. It says 'Targets have been set for your child in the following subjects' and says that DD2 should read at least 5 times a week and get her diary signed (yep, do that already!) For writing, she has to use a wider range of punctuation (but don't all children have to do this at this age (7/8 yrs) and then in numeracy, 'know multiplication and division facts for the 10x table. A set of cards will be given to your child to help learn these facts. When your child achieves this the next tables will be X5 and X2.'

The first thing DH said when he saw it was, "But you do all these things with her already!" and I was testing DD on all the tables at the weekend and she knows them all! So as I thought, she can do the maths bit when she's 1-1 with me but when she's at school, it's a different matter!

Paddington ~ I think imagination is a good thing in a child! DD2 was having her eyes tested at the opticians a few months ago and one of the screens he used has something like this 88 on it, but with the 2 8's touching in the middle and with one on a black background and the other on a red one. DD2 said that she thought the '8's' looked like 'robots kissing.' The optician loved that and said what a lovely imagination she had!

petunia - wouldn't you just love to be a fly on the wall in the classroom sometimes?

I used to get so exasperated when explaining time after time that DS was perfectly able, in fact, very good at some of the things that he absolutely could not do at school. Teachers would endlessly regard me through the slits in their eyes, the thought bubble being 'they all say that don't they, they really don't know their own DC!' Anyway, don't bother with any of that now - just smile and nod (in my rather blonde way), walk away, go through it all later with DS just to make certain I am not going bonkers, and send him back in the next day for much of the same.

What keeps me sane is the thought that one day he will surprise the pants off all of them and come home having written during his literacy lesson, a novel perfectly spelt, grammatically correct and perfectly punctuated! (Of course, would be a story revolving around Lego and Club Penguin!!)

petunia I completely agree, imagination is a good thing. I sometimes wish I still had mine - I was like dd as a child, but my mum was a teacher and taught me a lot herself, including how to read. We do try and help dd but I sometimes feel a bit clueless! dh normally helps with maths, I have to say he has more patience than me!