Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Original poster

OK, maybe I'm a snob...

81 replies

minko · 06/09/2010 11:20

We've moved house recently and took DD to her new school this morning. The school had given me a reasonably good impression, it's small, the kids and staff seemed friendly... but having seen the parents in the playground I am frankly appalled. One mum had no teeth! I know I should give it a chance and all that but I just felt we were in the wrong place. We pass a lovely school which is very highly regarded on the 1.2 mile drive to DD's school, which we are on the waiting list for but only 14th (though each year has an intake of 120). Everyone going there looked lovely and wholesome...

Is it possible to appeal to the nearer school (which is less than mile from our house)?? What can we do??? We moved house because the school situation was difficult where we lived before. There it was be Catholic or suffer...

I know I am a snob and am going to get a bollocking on here. But I just don't feel like I'm going to fit in. I know no-one in our new town and was hoping school would help provide me with a new network of friends but it's not looking hopeful.

OP posts:

Are your children’s vaccines up to date?

Set a reminder

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 06/09/2010 11:51

I don't believe there is a school where all the parents are exactly the same tbh.

Original poster

minko · 06/09/2010 11:56

Sorry, not joshing. I know it's not wise to post this stuff, but I'm not launching an attack on anyone on here! I know I'm being a bit 'controversial' but I wonder about how motivated the kids of these parents are.

OP posts:

usualsuspect · 06/09/2010 12:03

'but I wonder about how motivated the kids of these parents are' why?

pearlsandtwinset · 06/09/2010 12:05

TBH you are unlikely to find out if you go in with such airs and graces. I don't think they will get very good vibes from you and you are unlikely to make any friends at all.

I do however, understand your need for wanting your child to have good influences and amibition. But, I think before judging on first day of school go with an open mind and not be quite so judgemental. The most influential people will be you, her teachers (and you liked the school), yes and some of her friends but they are not the only ones.

pearlsandtwinset · 06/09/2010 12:08

Oh, and my 'privately educated', successful and wonderful sister in law had to have all her teeth removed and at one point didn't have any as she was waiting for her new pair.

I do think your feeling towards her would be reciprocated though, she can't abide a snob!

WoodyAllen · 06/09/2010 12:10

Well, casting aside political correctness, the most notably backward-looking parents at our school (which is what you're on about) do all have SEN kids. But they are friends with my kids and come round to play - it's amazing what a bit of conversation and involving them in stuff can do - and they don't get it at home. Here's my controversial bit, some of the SEN kids would be no matter what, but there are several who just have parents who are letting their kids down and with a different home attitude the children would be up to speed. I mean stuff like not turning up every day, no breakfast, a packed lunch consisting of a can of coke and a wagon wheel, no response to school correspondence (I'm a gov and close to the head who is in despair about some of the parents and their attitudes - she says all we do is undone by the parents every night).

But your gummy lady might not be one of those. They are a minority. But in my experience they're not hard to spot, unfortunately.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 06/09/2010 12:11

Fat and tattooed people can be motivated parents you know! {sighs}

rabbitstew · 06/09/2010 12:11

Go with your initial positive impression of the children and teachers and give the parents another chance - you haven't met enough of them to form such a harsh judgment of the whole school intake. Perhaps the more "wholesome" parents you seek are at work and using a toothless childminder to drop their kids off, or the embarrassing grandmother, who lost her false teeth this morning but had to roll up to school, anyway...

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 06/09/2010 12:12

woodyallen - that is an outrageous assertion tbh.

I am shocked that you would just openly say that, being a governor.

(note I have a child with SN and hopefully do not "look backward")

domesticsluttery · 06/09/2010 12:12

I have 8 teeth missing. It is not due to decay (I have never even needed a filling) but because my adult teeth didn't grow and the milk teeth had to be taken out as they were sinking into the gums.

This didn't stop me studying Economics at university... maybe it should have?

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 06/09/2010 12:13

Going to step away from this thread as I can see where it will go and don't need the stress.

fanjoforthemammaries7850 · 06/09/2010 12:13

note to WoodyAllen - kids with SN can be fussy and notoriously hard to feed by the way...even my "middle class" child with SN is.

WoodyAllen · 06/09/2010 12:13

I am fat. Lots of my friends have tattoos. We do all have teeth. Some more than others.

FallingWithStyle · 06/09/2010 12:13

You want to change your childs school so that you can make friends??
Apart from everything else, that is utterly pathetic. You are a grown up - find other ways to make friends.

usualsuspect · 06/09/2010 12:14

GypsyMoth · 06/09/2010 12:15

look,you live amongst them,you see them regularly......you ARE one of them now!!

Sammiez · 06/09/2010 12:17

FanjoFTM I agree with your posts so far,I have to say...

...and with all those who said not to judge a book by its cover.

It is too early to say exactly. Some 'posh' looking parents cannot be bothered sometimes.
I understand your concerns tbh but wait a while and see.

I do not see/get how 'no teeth' has anything to do with motivation though...

WoodyAllen · 06/09/2010 12:20

Fanjo - I knew people would hate me saying that. But I doubt vey much you are anything like the sort of families I am taking about. I am not talking about you or your child. Most parents with SEN kids do their absolute best for them - by far the majority. But there are parents who don't give a shit and I am in a position to have met and tried to reason with many of them. Maybe you haven't had the pleasure. Anyone with the simplest socail radar would know who they were after a week at the school.

And re being shocked about what teachers and govs say...I know a bloke, a teacher and gov, life-long socialist campaigner in education etc who is quite at home taking about 'TAPS'. When I asked what it stood for he said 'most of the schools in Leicester use it - Thick As Pig Shit - but don't tell anyone'.

scottishmummy · 06/09/2010 12:20

how can you know and write it off so soon.give it a try and then see how you feel.some mums you will like some you wont. given you put all this effort into going to st toothless you seem mighty keen to bale out so soon

Original poster

minko · 06/09/2010 12:21

I'm gonna go with what Rabbitstew said and try to focus on my inital impression of the school. OK, I have made a hasty judgement, but as Woody said it is the home attitude I am concerned about.

DD is very relaxed and I'm sure she'll be happy wherever.

Enough about teeth now btw... (I even have a few fillings myself.

OP posts:

FreddoBaggyMac · 06/09/2010 12:23

You should give it a chance imo. you may have been subconsciously looking for the worst of everything out of first day nerves...The fact that the school is smaller than the other one that you're on the waiting list for is a bonus (imo).

I think your posting (and Woody's) are pretty honest and a lot of people on here would have your attitude and just be too scared to admit it and I don't think you should be condemned for that! However, we should all at least TRY not to judge others by their appearance, it's not a good quality!

FreddoBaggyMac · 06/09/2010 12:26

Also I think it's wrong to criticise the OP for wanting to make friends through her child's school, she has just moved to a new area where she doesn't know anyone, the obvious place for her to make new friends is through her children's school imo.

WoodyAllen · 06/09/2010 12:46

Agree with Freddo about making friends via our children. It is a classic way to meet people when you're a parent. We're constantly encouraged to mee 'other Mums' - what do you think this whole website was based on? From NCT or equivalent onwards people connect because of their children. Nothing pathetic or immature about it. I'm sure OP will meet people through other avenues too.

Original poster

minko · 06/09/2010 12:51

Thank you for your kind words. I'm glad I'm not completely alone, just saying what others might think. But then if you can't air it on an anonymous forum where can you!?

OP posts:

turnitup · 06/09/2010 12:54

I would have felt the same as you OP. It's just seems to be un PC to say things like that on here, but as you say if you cant here where else can you.

Im sure you'll find some like-minded parents you can get on with, just give a week or so.

Flip

1 2 3 4

Swipe left for the next trending thread