Hello, this is my first post on this forum, though I have been known to lurk. I just want some advice, really, as I'm feeling quite confused and starting to doubt my own judgement. Sorry if it's long - please bear with me.
I have a beautiful, bright, bubbly five year old daughter, who has just finished her first year at school in reception. She has had a blissfully happy year, made loads of friends and developed in all sorts of positive ways. She has come home from school almost every day, buzzing with excitement about whatever she has been doing, and I have been really delighted with the wide range of opportunities that the school has offered so far.
Anyway, she has always been a bright little girl, with a very curious mind, an excellent memory and a talent for picking up new ideas quite quickly. Consequently, it was no surprise to me that she was doing well at school, and obviously, OH and I were delighted with her progress. About half-way through the year, the teacher told us at parents' evening that she was performing at a level significantly beyond that of her peers, and again, we were pleased but not surprised - we knew that she was a very good reader, and she has always loved playing with numbers etc. We were amused when the teacher told us that the other little kids liked to gather around for dd to read to them, and we were confident that she was going to make the transition to year 1 very easily.
Anyway, a couple of weeks ago, towards the end of this academic year, dd's teacher approached me and asked if she could have a word. She then said that the school were considering moving dd into the year 2 class, instead of year 1, as they felt that she might do better in a more challenging environment, and they wanted to know what we felt about this. I initially assumed that they were talking about a mixed year 1/2 class, but she explained that dd would be the only one to move up. At this point, my gut instinct kicked in, and I said no, definitely not - dd has been so happy in her class this year, and I felt that she would be very unhappy to be moved. The teacher asked if we wanted to think about it, and again, going on gut instinct, I said that I didn't need to. She said that was fine, and left it at that.
I am ashamed to say that I didn't even consult my OH on this question, because I was so sure in my own mind that it was the wrong thing to do. Fortunately, when I told him, he shared my view, and other family members have been supportive of our decision. However, I have mentioned the teacher's suggestion to a couple of friends (not with kids at the same school!) and they both think that I have made a mistake. One of them has been quite outspoken about this, and has said that I am "holding her back".
Like any parent, I want the best for my child, and I am devastated at the suggestion that I might be deliberately holding her back. But holding her back from what, I wonder? Yes, if she went up a year, she might achieve a few academic milestones a bit earlier, but to what end? What would she actually gain by this, and wouldn't she lose far more by being taken out of her peer group? This is a genuine question.
I do understand that acceleration can be the only option if you have a child who is very bored or frustrated with his peers, but my dd has been perfectly happy, so I can't see the point. But my friend keeps saying that the teachers have suggested this for a reason, presumably because they think it is in her best interests...and that year 1 is different from reception because it is much more structured and less child-led. So I want to know, am I missing something here? I have always believed that a good teacher will stretch and challenge all of the children in her classroom, regardless of their ability, but is this not the case?
If you have managed to get this far without losing interest, I would love you to just tell me that we have done the right thing and that our daughter won't suffer as a result of this. But if you think I have made a mistake, then I would like to hear your views too! Thank you very much!