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Primary education

Join our Primary Education forum to discuss starting school and helping your child get the most out of it.

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Original poster

Ds has never been star of the week.

33 replies

cheesycheddar · 15/07/2010 14:08

I really don't want to appear a pushy parent so do I say something to his teacher or not? Ds has almost finished year 1, he is one of the youngest in the class. Every week one or two of the class are awarded star of the week it can be awarded for various reasons, good piece of work or being kind to others etc.

Ds is doing well at school, probably middle of the class in terms of ability which is great considering he is one of the youngest. School reports very good, latest report says that ds is a kind caring funny little boy who is very sensitive to others feelings - that comment pleased me more than anything.

As the academic year has progressed ds has asked me when he will be star of the week, I have always said that I am sure he will be at some point he just has to try his best. This week the last star of the week was awarded and it wasn't him. Ds came out of school with his shoulders hunched over and a little sad look on his face as he is the only person in his class not to be awarded star of the week. I told him that it doesn't matter and I said that he is my star of the week every week but it didn't really cheer him up.

I am thinking about asking his teacher why he was the only one not awarded star of the week (the names are up on the board and he is the only one not to have received the award) but I don't want to appear pushy and I'm not sure what I will achieve by bringing it up.

On one hand I think that there will be plenty of disappointments for ds to go through and he has to understand that but on the other hand I think he is only 5 and it seems a bit mean that he is only one not to be rewarded especially as his reports show that he is doing well and is well liked by his teachers.

Should I mention it do you think? I just feel really sad for him.

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00000000000000 · 15/07/2010 14:11

yes you must definitely say something
they usually try to make sure every child has it once

if thy display the names then it's really unfair

( i work in an infants school and we have one kids left who HAS To be star of the week next week before end of term and we madly trying to encourage him to be good so we don't look daft givng it to him!)

Original poster

cheesycheddar · 15/07/2010 14:14

0000000 - I hope you are not his teacher!

But what do I say without coming across as being really precious.

OP posts:

Fluffybubble · 15/07/2010 14:15

I would mention it, just ask in passing why it is, I am sure it is probably an oversight - I would be sad for my ds too.

At our school all children should get the award at some point over the year and there is a list to tick off to ensure that they do - maybe his name has been ticked by mistake. If you mention it now then there is still time for it to be awarded .

piprabbit · 15/07/2010 14:15

Just say that DS has told you he has never been star of the week. Say he is a little upset. Ask if there is something you could help him with to improve his chances.

It's probably an unfortuante oversight by the teacher who will happy to sort it out.

gaelicsheep · 15/07/2010 14:16

Oh god, DS's nursery has this ludicrous system and I hate it. I'm very sad to hear it's common elsewhere as well. I think it's a really crude way to reward good work or good behaviour and it seems so arbitrary. And of course if they are making sure every kid gets a turn (which I see they have to) then the whole thing is completely meaningless anyway. Very for your poor DS.

00000000000000 · 15/07/2010 14:16

well first of all-i wouldn't worry about being 'pushy'
he's your little lad!

i would say something like 'i was wondering if there was a reason why ds has never been 'star of the week'? Is there a problem with his behaviour that i am unaware of?'

it is almost certainly an oversight-especially if they are displaying names.

and the kid in my class is 7!

gaelicsheep · 15/07/2010 14:17

Where on earth did this crap idea come from anyway? Do they do it everywhere?!

HoopyFroodDude · 15/07/2010 14:18

Yes say something. I find asking for advice is the best way.

"I was just wondering if you could advise me on the kind of behaviour you are looking for in order to award Star of the Week. It matters a great deal to A that he should get it at some point and if I could explain to him what behaviours it is awarded for it would be very helpful. "

HoopyFroodDude · 15/07/2010 14:19

Also, I agree the whole idea of Star of the week is a massive pile of pants.

jeee · 15/07/2010 14:20

As your son is upset about it (and some children are just not bothered), speak to the teacher, on a 'XXX hasn't had the star of the week, he's a little upset about it' - but if possible try and do this when your son is not about, because otherwise when he gets his certificate he'll know he only got it because you said something. Which will kind of diminish it in his eyes.

I don't think you're being precious at all - and I don't think a nice teacher would consider that you were being precious either.

MarshaBrady · 15/07/2010 14:20

That is really bad your poor ds.

Definitely say something.

Annoying that you have to, but probably a silly oversight.

Original poster

cheesycheddar · 15/07/2010 14:26

Ok, thanks for advice everyone. I will mention it today. The teacher is lovely so I am sure she will be fine about it. I wish they would get rid of the system and have merit points or nothing at all. I am happy with with most aspects of ds's school but not too happy with the reward/motivation side of things.

OP posts:

puch · 15/07/2010 14:27

i would def say something as in our school all the children are star of the week at some point and some gets it the 2nd time. Someone time a teacher forgets that someone has not been star of the week and they just need gentle reminding. dont worry about being pushing at this time of the year yes if you are asking at the beginnning of the year but now the year nearly finished it prob a oversight. When my child was star of the week y1 he had to fill in a book what he did that weekend and it builds confidence in the child they feel the need to work harder. Good luck

runoutofnameideas · 15/07/2010 14:45

Your poor ds - can totally understand why he'd be upset. Hope the teacher sorts out a special star of the end of the week or whatever for him.

A gentle word with the teacher seems warranted.

Slightly off the OP but I agree with others, what is the point of these things if they all get it? Is it just who gets it first?!

00000000000000 · 15/07/2010 14:49

it is given for a reason
for example a boy in my class is a real challenge. constantly making silly noises, disrupting the class, etc etc
he got it after a week of sensible behaviour. another very quiet child got it for always trying her best.
another who was struggling to do neat work got it for trying hard with presentation.

it does give them a little boost.

umf · 15/07/2010 14:55

Poor little sausage! Definitely say something - gently. Daft idea anyway, and then to overlook one child! No wonder he's miffed - it sends a v depressing message that being consistently nice and well-behaved means no-one notices you.

cilldara · 15/07/2010 14:57

I am a teacher in Ireland and I scrapped star of the week as I felt it was really a pointless exercise. It didn't change anyone's behaviour. The children who face challenges needed a more intensive intervention. I also had a couple of children with ASD who became so focussed on star of the week and so distressed if they didn't get it that it undid any good.

However cheesycheddar I would say something to his teacher as I am sure it is an oversight. Nobody could be mean enough to leave someone out...even if he is a scamp

gaelicsheep · 15/07/2010 14:58

Precisely umf. If the badly behaved child gets it for being good for just one week, what message does that send to the child who's good all the time?!

GooseyLoosey · 15/07/2010 15:02

Yes say something - everyone usually gets a turn and they will just have made a mistake.

Just mention that ds is upset it has never been him.

TennisFan · 15/07/2010 15:07

We have this ridiculous thing at our school too. My DD, age 6 got it in the very last week of term - I was gutted for her.

It is called the 'high achiever award' and comes with a certificate and little plaque to keep for a week.

I don't think it is an incentive at all, and actually once they are older they know when it is just handed it out for no particular reason.

If they have to do anything better to have awards or stars which they can accumulate in a team or individually.

claig · 15/07/2010 16:46

definitely mention it, totally out of order to be left out of it. Don't like the system at all though.

Runoutofideas · 15/07/2010 18:03

Are you sure they are not about to present him with some sort of extra special award? My dd was seemingly passed over for ages despite being well behaved etc. I was all set to go in and ask why she was being ignored when she turned up home with the super duper head teachers award for lovely behaviour. I would have looked a right idiot if I'd gone in when I was thinking about it!

00000000000000 · 15/07/2010 18:48

any news? did you ask today?

reallytired · 15/07/2010 19:30

It is hard, my son's school has a finer diner, where the chosen child gets to sit a decorated table on Friday lunch time and a great fuss is made of them. My son has never been a finer diner inspite of good work and p(almost!) perfect behaviour.

Unfortunately well behaved middle ablity children get over looked.

gaelicsheep · 15/07/2010 23:41

Dear God, what on earth has happened to education since I was at school? What on earth is in store for DS when he goes to school? I truly dread to think. Singling out a single child each week in an arbitrary manner when several may be equally deserving just seems like madness to me.

What on earth happened to children being expected to be good with order marks/detentions for those who are not and merit marks for any who are exceptional? TAnd there was a time when good marks and a good school report with end of year prizes for effort/achievement were enough to inspire hard work. I think I'm hopelessly old fashioned!

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