Ds has never been star of the week.

[cheesycheddar]

I really don't want to appear a pushy parent so do I say something to his teacher or not? Ds has almost finished year 1, he is one of the youngest in the class. Every week one or two of the class are awarded star of the week it can be awarded for various reasons, good piece of work or being kind to others etc.

Ds is doing well at school, probably middle of the class in terms of ability which is great considering he is one of the youngest. School reports very good, latest report says that ds is a kind caring funny little boy who is very sensitive to others feelings - that comment pleased me more than anything.

As the academic year has progressed ds has asked me when he will be star of the week, I have always said that I am sure he will be at some point he just has to try his best. This week the last star of the week was awarded and it wasn't him. Ds came out of school with his shoulders hunched over and a little sad look on his face as he is the only person in his class not to be awarded star of the week. I told him that it doesn't matter and I said that he is my star of the week every week but it didn't really cheer him up.

I am thinking about asking his teacher why he was the only one not awarded star of the week (the names are up on the board and he is the only one not to have received the award) but I don't want to appear pushy and I'm not sure what I will achieve by bringing it up.

On one hand I think that there will be plenty of disappointments for ds to go through and he has to understand that but on the other hand I think he is only 5 and it seems a bit mean that he is only one not to be rewarded especially as his reports show that he is doing well and is well liked by his teachers.

Should I mention it do you think? I just feel really sad for him.

tis the way of the world gaelicsheep I'm afraid.

My DS's school has this, as well as team points, and a yellow card/red card system of punishment. Every year in the last week of term, the children who have been "golden" all year get to do something special, cinema trip, disco, and this year it was a circus skills workshop. Poor DS has never made the golden trip, but this year was determined. He had a yellow card earlier in the year, but was told everyone is allowed one chance. Last week he did something really daft and got another yellow card, but we had a letter home on Friday saying that he was going on the trip. We assumed that they were just recognising the turn around in him (last year he had over 15 yellow and 2 red), and even though he was sure he wouldn't be going, we convinced him he must be, as he had the letter. Turns out the assistant teacher had given the letter out to the whole class, abnd he wasn't allowed (ghis teacher was waiting for me to explain). Cue one gutted little boy who now thinks what was the reason for the effort he put in, when it didn't get him anywhere. Am thoroughly pissed off with the scheme.

LacksDaisies, I would be seriously put out by that, I really don't think you can give a massive treat day to the whole class and exclude a child that may have made a couple of mistakes early on in the school year but then put in allot of effort and turned it around. It makes my heart ache for your little man it really does and I am so glad my dd's school don't do anything like this.
The whole star of the week thing just seems pointless as well although you could argue that to the children it does mean something more (and the OP should have a quiet non confrutasional word with the teacher in ways that have already been said).
Children like to have something that sets them apart from the rest and makes then feel special but it doesn't have to be (shouldn't be) linked into class room performance, at my dd's school two children every week are regester moniters, they run the regester to and from the office and feel great about it, every child gets a turn. My dd will come home from time to time with a sticker for good reading or the such like, sometimes she will tell me every one got one and others will just be given to children as they read/do an activity with the teacher, very low key, don't think the children even regester who has a sticker and when (they are reception children).
I do wish schools would do away with this stuff, it clearly has too many flaws and I can't see how it can really help in the class room, as I said my dd's school has nothing like this but is OFFTED the best in the county, has good SATS results and wonderful patral care, the children are happy and valued at school, they want to be there, if there is any bad behaviour it is delt with swiftly and discreatly, I have no idea how often they have to take action on behaviour, I have never come accross any at the school, ever.

Yes, OP, you should definately say something to let the teacher know how disappointed he, and you are and windering why he is the only child to miss out.

My DS is a summer born middle achiever and always misses out on the star pupil awards and special "gifted and talented" clubs. While I recognise that schemes like this probably help children at the bottom of the heap, and are taken for granted by those at the top, I don't they do anything for the majority of the children at all. It makes me sad too that my DS is always disappointed and feels that he is never quite good enough.

LacksDaisies you have demonstrated why it is a bad system. It will end up being counter-productive as some children in your DS's position will at first be disappointed but soon despondent and will begin to act out the role of "yellow card" and it will turn into a self-fulfilling prophecy.

cilldara also made a very good point
"I also had a couple of children with ASD who became so focussed on star of the week and so distressed if they didn't get it that it undid any good." Some children will become fixated on trying to get it, as they feel that this validates their worth.

I say mention it, say that DS has asked

We have star of the day here...

What a shame for your ds, I would defo say something, it will just bug you otherwise.

what happened?

I never got the opportunity to raise it with the teacher in the end. However he was awarded star of the week this week so he is really pleased!