Son has got a detention every day for the last 3 weeks

[rob38]

My 12 year old son has got a detention every day for the past two weeks, mainly for talking and messing about in class and for refusing to work. Any advice on how I can get him to improve his behavior? Thank you

2 weeks? Every day for 2 weeks. You need to talk to him. And to school. This is not ok.

Maybe give him some consequences?
The consequences are the detentions .
He will.be behaving this way for a reason , surely it's better to get to the bottom of that rather than dole out yet more punishments which don't seem to be working anyway.

I would ask for a meeting with the school.

You need to know:

-When the behaviour started
-What is triggering the behaviour
-What their concerns are
-What they have put in place to support DS with these concerns
-Has there been any response/ impact since they put the support in place

• What are their proposed next steps (as the daily detentions are clearly not working!)

You can't punish away trauma, no matter how hard you try.

do school know about trauma ?

if waiting on camhs you will be in for a long time so you need to find a way forward .

can school offer anything sooner ? We have had family support worker , my Ds was offered support ( can’t remember who ) due to a bereavement . They have a pastoral team .

Is he struggling to focus because of trauma? Is he overwhelmed in classroom ?

yes I would be asking for a meeting .

If it's during English could there be dyslexia in the mix?

Or is he hungry? If he's growing fast he may need nutrients that he's not getting at the moment.

(Brace)

Not sure schools do that a lot? Much easier to dish out a detention. Behaviour policy ticked off. Job done. “Labelling” someone as neurodiverse involves a bit more effort.

Thank you for your help

@rob38 how are things going now? Has his behaviour improved at all?

This

Great advice ye, someone who has had detension 15 times in 15 days defo is just going to become star pupil because they get dominos once a month.