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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Original poster

11yo with a very small penis

84 replies

LostInTranslations · 08/05/2023 20:44

I have namechanged for this.

My 11yo, who will be 12 in the summer, has a very small penis. It doesn't look as though it has grown since he was a baby.

Generally he is quite tall for his age and well built, he has always been on the 95th centile for height and weight, so this just makes it all the more apparent.

He has started getting some public hairs, but no testicular growth or underarm hair or voice deepening etc.

I'm starting to wonder if this is normal and I should just leave it, or if it's something that I should get checked, and if the latter, by who? The GP? Does he need a specialist?

He has noticed too (the joys of having an older brother!) and has voiced concern, but I'm not sure what to say as I don't know if it's normal or not!

Any help appreciated please, especially if anyone has a son who has experienced the same thing.

OP posts:
peeweechigs · 09/05/2023 17:54

I've found this really interesting and worrying. My son had a twisted tortion of the appendix of the testicle when he was 3 and had to have an operation. Has has adhd and mild dyslexia plus I would also say emotional difficulties. Put down to adhd. He is now 12 so I haven't seen his penis but a few years but I do remember thinking it was small when I last saw it and if that was normal.
He was also a late talker.
He hasn't displayed any signs of puberty yet I don't think but he doesn't let me see!
I am worried now but don't know what to ask him! I don't want to make him paranoid but what can I do?

SchoolTripDrama · 09/05/2023 20:31

@Firecarrier Pleased with myself?!?! 😂 Def not! Shocked and disgusted more like. What happened to teaching children about self respect & privacy?

BabyST · 09/05/2023 20:41

@SchoolTripDrama sometimes it’s worth respecting how others choose to live be that clothed or not. I fully respect your views but please respect mine and others who live a less clothed live. Your comments I find offensive but maybe that’s due to lack of understand of our world.

Original poster
LostInTranslations · 09/05/2023 21:01

Gosh this thread has gone a bit off topic! My personal views on nudity is that I am very happy to respect my children's decisions and requests for privacy if they want them, and they do mine. But if I am getting changed in the morning and they are waiting to use the en suite bathroom, I don't think twice about getting dressed in front of them. I don't feel bodies are anything to be ashamed about and I've had plenty of "mum, where's your penis?" questions in swimming pool changing rooms to feel happy to answer any questions they have about bodies or sex or whatever.

My older DS is much more private since he went through puberty, and I totally respect that.

OP posts:
Original poster
LostInTranslations · 09/05/2023 21:03

peeweechigs · 09/05/2023 17:54

I've found this really interesting and worrying. My son had a twisted tortion of the appendix of the testicle when he was 3 and had to have an operation. Has has adhd and mild dyslexia plus I would also say emotional difficulties. Put down to adhd. He is now 12 so I haven't seen his penis but a few years but I do remember thinking it was small when I last saw it and if that was normal.
He was also a late talker.
He hasn't displayed any signs of puberty yet I don't think but he doesn't let me see!
I am worried now but don't know what to ask him! I don't want to make him paranoid but what can I do?

Could you have a more general chat about puberty, the changes to expect, maybe have a look at a book about puberty together so you are beginning to broach the subject and he knows it's an ok thing to talk about?

OP posts:
Original poster
LostInTranslations · 09/05/2023 21:05

WoolyMammoth55 · 09/05/2023 14:58

Hi OP, sorry that your thread is getting slightly de-railed by the "no nudity we're British!" brigade :) Hope you are still reading and haven't given up!

I don't have experience of delayed puberty, my sons are both very young, but my 5yo has had 2 orchidopexy surgeries for mal-descended testicles so I have some experience supporting my child through medical interventions in his genital region...

From that perspective I wanted to pick up on the fact that your DS raised it with you. He is concerned. Therefore in your shoes I'd open a conversation with him, something like:
"I've been thinking about what you said, and I think if you're concerned I'd like to book you a doctor's appointment and go with you to see what they say. I think the most likely outcome would be that they will say everything is fine and that you will keep growing as you get older. But if it's worrying you then I want to support you to get the opinion of a doctor. Shall we go ahead and call the GP now?"

So many men suffer their whole lives because of (a) embarrassment about seeing a doctor; and (b) internalised shame about their genitals. It's actually a great testament to your relationship with him that he's shared his concerns with you - please model to him that you support him and that seeing a GP about that worries you is never a bad idea.

Wish you and your DS all the best.

Thank you, this is a really lovely suggestion as to how to talk about things with my DS - I will give this a go.

OP posts:
Oblomov23 · 09/05/2023 21:05

Take him to the GP and depending on what Gp says hopefully he'll be referred to a consultant.

xxymum · 09/05/2023 21:05

@SchoolTripDrama
Whilst we did not adopt nudity in my house I certainly don't condemn those that do.
Theres nothing wrong with the human body in it's naked form. No reason to be disgusted.

eatdrinkandbemerry · 09/05/2023 21:20

My sons 18 but severely autistic and severe learning difficulties so seen as I shower him I see him naked daily.
He showed zero signs of puberty until 14 but soon caught up to the others and now is defiantly all fine.
I wouldn't worry just yet.

Original poster
LostInTranslations · 09/05/2023 21:29

@xxymum thanks for all your posts, they are really helpful. I hope you don't give yourself a hard time about your son having a late diagnosis. We are all just doing our best, and if he didn't tell you earlier, that's not your fault. Teenage years are hard, and you are helping him now. That's what matters. x

OP posts:
xxymum · 09/05/2023 22:41

@LostInTranslations
Thank you.
Hope everything turns out well for you and your son.
I don't like to scare anyone but I think knowledge is power. The more we know the more that helps.

xxymum · 09/05/2023 22:49

@WoolyMammoth55
Just wanted to pick up on your point of men feeling embarrassment and shame.
This s definitely a thing.
We need to be more open about the problems men face

HannahHere · 10/05/2023 17:55

This reply has been deleted

This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

Morello339 · 10/05/2023 19:55

SchoolTripDrama · 09/05/2023 12:46

This is extremely disturbing. You and your teens are happy to walk around naked in front of each other and you discuss genital sizes with your male teen? Hmm I genuinely feel nauseous after reading that.

Show quote history

Hahahahaha yes I've seen my child's penis. Crazy huh? Imagine if you knew I MADE it too, in my own body...that he has seen naked.

I don't have 'teens'. I have one 12 year old son. Who yes, will sometimes go from one room to another naked...for example if he's had a shower and forgotten and towel he'll walk to get one. If he's in the shower and I need something out of the bathroom I'll knock and he'll welcome me to go get it.

He literally wouldn't even notice if I was naked or not. Nudity isn't sexual and to equate the 2 is bizarre.

None of us are walking around doing nude sexy dances.

You being extremely disturbed by something that is definitely NOT an issue is not going to make me or my son lose sleep.

Cassowaries · 10/05/2023 21:53

Thank you for posting. I am having a similar worry.

HannahHere · 10/05/2023 22:08

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This has been deleted by MNHQ for breaking our Talk Guidelines.

poppinpink · 10/05/2023 22:20

Iam also interested in this post as my DS I feel has a small penis and hasn't grown much since he was young. He's 10 now. When he was about 3 he had an operation to correct a hydrocele and I asked the doctor at the time about his size and she said he had quite a large fat pad which would be concealing some of it. Coming across this thread and reading into klinefelters has me slightly worried. He is being assessed for dyslexia, has one kidney and was very slightly behind with speech and slight hearing problems when younger. He's a solid lad still with puppy fat but now worrying about his body shape too! I wonder at what age I would take him to the GP as he will be way off puberty still...

Cassowaries · 10/05/2023 22:23

He’s 11.

learning2fly · 10/05/2023 22:39

My son has just turned 13 and have exactly the same worries OP. Hoping that puberty will come soon.

UnderneathTheCouch · 10/05/2023 22:42

DS1 is 12 and not got much in the way of signs of puberty starting. He’s quite distraught by friends already having growth spurts and such.

UnderneathTheCouch · 10/05/2023 22:45

poppinpink · 10/05/2023 22:20

Iam also interested in this post as my DS I feel has a small penis and hasn't grown much since he was young. He's 10 now. When he was about 3 he had an operation to correct a hydrocele and I asked the doctor at the time about his size and she said he had quite a large fat pad which would be concealing some of it. Coming across this thread and reading into klinefelters has me slightly worried. He is being assessed for dyslexia, has one kidney and was very slightly behind with speech and slight hearing problems when younger. He's a solid lad still with puppy fat but now worrying about his body shape too! I wonder at what age I would take him to the GP as he will be way off puberty still...

If he’s 10 there’s still a lot of time before puberty starts, if he’s got a bit of baby fat it could be that his fat pad covers most of it, suppose it depends how much you see him nude etc.

Annieshpd · 22/09/2023 17:10

My ds1 son was born with congenital micropenis. He is 9 and hasn’t really grown since then. I’ve only seen him peeing on a camping trip earlier this year but it appears very small for his age.

He has said school boys have commented(the “urinal barriers” haven’t worked much apparently to stop boys from being boys so he is using only stalls now.).

Gp originally recommended getting testosterone/hormone therapy shots to help correct it when ds was 3 but opted to not give them later due to a health risk.

Seeing the support in this thread warms my heart. It’s a very difficult issue that can be daunting to any parent and our children.

worrytoo · 22/09/2023 17:38

A while back someone started a thread on the same subject and sadly the responses were not nice. This one is much better. People don't seem to understand the worry. DS has always been big and tall for his age though has no puppy fat now to conceal anything and there doesn't seem to have been any growth. I don't know if there is anything that can be done as I'm sure it will impact him in the future.

Original poster
LostInTranslations · 22/09/2023 18:13

I’m really glad that this thread has been supportive and positive. I felt some reassurance from PP who said that their sons had the same issue that seemed to self resolve. There doesn’t seem to be much change for my son - now 12 - but still unsure if it’s just normal or whether to speak to a health professional.

OP posts:
starsparkle08 · 22/09/2023 18:20

My son has a paediatrician appointment for general check up Tuesday and I’m going to try to raise the issue and hope my son agrees to examination . He’s 12 asd adhd so depending on mood who knows

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