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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

What does bedtime look like in your house for your year 6 child?

30 replies

Beachhutnut · 31/01/2023 21:19

Do you still read them stories? Do they need tucking in? Do they put themselves to bed? What time? Mine really struggles getting to sleep. Ours have baths. We still do stories, have a chat about the day, hot drink. Bedtime is anytime between 8 and 9 but not very independent -needs a lot of handholding. Younger sibling is fine with a 'night' called through the door. Just wondering what's usual at this age.

OP posts:
Ydkiml · 31/01/2023 21:43

Y6 Bed at 8.30 but can read book themselves till 9.15. Goes to bed on own , but I go up to say goodnight , cuddles , little chat once he’s in bed .

TooBigForMyBoots · 31/01/2023 21:45

Carnage.

ZingDramaQueenOfSheeba · 31/01/2023 21:48

we do none of that. but if it works for yours there's no problem at all

late dinner here (7-7.30), they can stay up until 9 or 9.30 depending on a few things.
DD is in y6, she has dance until 7.45 on Tuesdays so we do dinner at 8pm - she's zonked before 9.

she's sharing a room with an older & younger sibling, the latest they stay up on a school night is about 10. they get up at 7 or 7.30 very latest.
that seems enough sleep for them - if they get cranky we send them to bed earlier that night. they are my youngest 3, the older ones do their own thing completely.

they brush their teeth, get ready for bed & get in bed independently.

does that answer your question?

PoppyEyebright · 31/01/2023 21:51

7:45 get ready for bed, DD will read to one of us, then we'll read to her. Get into bed with her and pop an audio book on. Little snuggle and a kiss then say goodnight

demotedreally · 31/01/2023 21:51

Light off 2045 ish, bit of chit chat and prayer either by self or with siblings. We gave up reading to her and 9yo once they could read as well as us a few years ago. Still read to 7yo but he can't read very well, otherwise I might have ditched it by now too.

Sometimes some faffing around but no routine as such.

Beachhutnut · 31/01/2023 21:56

Thank you for sharing. It confirms what I suspected that others of a similar age seem more independent. I would love to just pop upstairs for a quick 'goodnight' and be done. I don't mind doing stories, they can both read but still enjoy them but just worried how this translates to secondary school.

OP posts:
2023istheyearigetmyacttogether · 31/01/2023 21:56

DC2 is Yr6; DC1 is Yr8
DC2 does an a club straight after school every day so doesn't get home until 5.15. Tends to play on his PS5 until we have supper around 6. We'll often watch an episode of Modern Family or something on the nights he doesn't have a later club and then it's homework and upstairs about 7.45, into bed for 8.00 and lights out at 8.30 but can have the radio on. One night a week he does sport from 7.00 - 8.00 and another evening from 7.30 - 8.30 so that messes up those timings and is one of the reasons he goes to bed earlier on the other evenings. Fri & Sat nights he's up until about 9.30

KittyCatChat · 31/01/2023 21:56

Bed by 8pm. Lights out at 9 if good. Piss about and lights out at 8pm.

Weekends flexible.

MaverickSnoopy · 31/01/2023 21:56

Monday to Thursday after I've cleared up and the house is restored to "normal" Confused we sit down and watch an episode of something or have a chat. She goes up to bed at 8pm and then when she's in bed I'll go in and say goodnight. I usually sing her a lullaby (which she asks for). She might read until 8.30pm but usually it's lights out. She's up at 6.30am and likes a lot of sleep. Friday and Saturday it's 9.30pm or 10pm bedtime..Sunday it's 7.30pm ready for the week ahead.

Zola1 · 31/01/2023 21:57

Shes year 8 now, but year 6 I think.. She would get showered independently, read a book in bed, I would go in to give her a hug and say goodnight and turn the light off (usually around 9, sometimes later as she has always had sport training sessions til about 830/9 a few nights a week).
I don't think I've read her a bedtime story since she was maybe about 9 as she preferred to read to herself after that.

GroggyLegs · 31/01/2023 21:58

I have one 8yo and a 6yo - they go to bed together.

7pm toast or cereal
Upstairs at 7.30 if showering, 8pm if not.
teeth, face, PJS
A chapter each of a book mostly read by me
Into bed where they can read for a bit, night, night.

Try to be downstairs by 9

2023istheyearigetmyacttogether · 31/01/2023 21:58

Oh, and to actually answer the question (!), he likes us to go up and say good night once he's in bed but he showers, puts his clothes in the laundry basket & sorts all of that sort of thing out by himself. He hasn't had a story read to him since pre-Covid.

MarthanotMarfa · 31/01/2023 22:01

I’m sat in my year 6 (11 year old’s) room now in the dark. She’s super independent at getting ready, uniform fir next day, bags etc but needs an adult in the room when falling asleep as she gets terribly bad dreams and very afraid at drop off so we just sit in an armchair. Goes to bed at 9pm or so and you at 6.45 no trouble.

champagneplanet · 31/01/2023 22:20

DD is in Y7 currently but has been very independent for a good while now. She does have to be reminded it's get ready for bed time (she's usually showered and in pjs by then anyway) so around 9pm when i'm settling younger DD she tidies room, puts washing in basket, has a bit of supper and watches ipad (I do try to get her to read), brushes teeth and then I will go in around 9:30 for a little chat/hug and then lights out. Never get any pushback from her.

ninjafoodienovice · 31/01/2023 22:42

Y6 DS goes to bed around 9 on a school night after dinner at 7 or earlier if there is a club. Shower or bath independently but prefers me to chat to him whilst in the bath. He doesn't often read at bedtime any more, sometimes we read to him or DH plays chess with him but normally he just messes about - gets a second wind and is quite hyper.
It's really annoying and needs to stop.
He has a light show on and falls asleep probably by 10.
For reference though we think he has ADHD and are getting him assessed. I suppose I'm grateful that he does go to bed and falls asleep relatively quickly.

EzzieM · 31/01/2023 23:42

7.30: tell DC to bath.
DC promptly begins a super urgent academic research project 🙄

7.45: take project away from DC and shepherd to bathroom.

7.50: DC gets in bath. Leave DC alone to wash. Yay for independence!

7.52: Discover DC in playroom. Apparently bath is finished?! Tell DC to go to bed.

8pm: DC hungry. Offer bowl of cereal.

8.30: After veeeerrrryy sloooow bowl of cereal, DC is still hungry. Offer tuna, cans of sweetcorn, and warm milk.

8.40: DC brushes their own teeth.

8.45: Dc wants stories. Read DC story. Not that story it’s too exciting. Fetch different story. Read that.

9pm: Attempt to leave DC.
DC wants a cuddle.

9.15 escape DC.

9.30 DC has been in bed, lights out, for 15 minutes. So… Why can I hear DC singing?

Spiderplantation · 01/02/2023 00:03

DC 10 falls asleep at about half ten, wakes at about 7.30.
He reads in bed at around 9 and I read to him at about 9.30.
I leave him at about 10 and he either goes to sleep or reads a bit more on his own.

thaegumathteth · 01/02/2023 00:34

Dd (12 so slightly older but nothings different than a year ago.)

Dinner usually 6-7
Shower sometimes straight after school or sometimes after dinner. Independent apart from needing to be nagged to do it and then nagged endlessly to dry their hair.

Usually watches TV with us until 830/9 and then brushes teeth and goes to bed. Rarely asleep before 10 tbh. Listens to TV (I know not ideal but being honest) or podcast.

She has to sleep with some kind of light on though.

usernamebore · 02/02/2023 16:39

11 year old in year 7. Shower or bath about 7.45ish by himself or we might chat to him in bath a bit. Up to bed about 8pm. We read in bed with him (he reads a lot himself, but we have always read him something “harder” like Austen etc before bed). Then a song and a bit of a chat and lights out by about 8.30 or so and we leave. He is an early riser irrespective of when he goes to bed, so we try to get him asleep before 9 if we can. We kind of like the whole reading/chatting bit before bed as it is a good chance to get a catch up about his day. Plus he is an only child so easier to do. We know pretty soon he will not want to be read to etc so not rushing to cut it out just yet…!

BernadetteRostankowskiWolowitz · 02/02/2023 16:42

Shower or bath til about 7/7.30, if they want a chapter reading to them one of us will, which takes us to 8pm, if not they just go upstairs themselves. We don't have lights off/time to sleep time, they go to sleep whenever they like, but no screens or devices in their room so the only real option is reading/writing/drawing.

They usually nip back down for a wee around 9 and go to sleep after that but I don't monitor time they go to sleep.

Loopyloooooo · 18/02/2023 08:08

11 year old and 9 year old..

11 year old showers self but I blow dry her hair. Then into bed and I will give her a kiss and turn off light. Sometimes she reads by herself before this. Sometimes she reads after I've given her a kiss and she turns her light off herself. Lights off between 9-9.30.. I would like this a bit earlier 😆

9 year old showers himself. I brush his teeth because otherwise he doesn't do a very thorough job! He reads for a while before bed but maybe twice a week I read with him. I kiss him and turn off his light.

Maybe once a week when I'm knackered I tell them up to bed and get yourselves in. Sometimes the 9 year old will have a little moan about that so then I go up and give him a quick kiss 😆

kimchifix · 18/02/2023 08:29

DS is 11 in Y6 but 5 years younger than next sibling so in many ways has not had the same requirement to be independent. Also he's dyslexic. He showers at 7:30 gets into PJs we still supervise teeth brushing most of the time (to make sure it has been done properly) and I often read to him / get him to read to me because I can and because he enjoys it. From time to time he'll have an audio book & I just sent a sleep timer. I'm keen on encouraging reading or stories for as long as possible because the others just stopped at about 12 (also dyslexic). School nights I like lights off by 8:45 as he has to get up at 6:15 for school. No gadgets after shower.

IbizaToTheNorfolkBroads · 18/02/2023 08:59

Ydkiml · 31/01/2023 21:43

Y6 Bed at 8.30 but can read book themselves till 9.15. Goes to bed on own , but I go up to say goodnight , cuddles , little chat once he’s in bed .

Pretty much this.

liveforsummer · 18/02/2023 09:07

How old is Y6? 11ish? What do you mean by hand holding? I don't think many dc this age would still be needing involved bed time routines and bedtime stories. Dd is primary 5 - so 2.5 years of primary school left and takes her self off to bed when asked. She often listens to a story on Alexa. If it works for you then obviously not too much of a problem but what happens at sleepovers? And it sounds like you'd like her to be a bit more independent so maybe worth looking at changing it a bit

Mysa74 · 18/02/2023 09:12

I'd keep the prelights out chat if I were you Op. It might come in very handy. Mines year 6 and 11 now. There's a lot going on in her life with Sats, puberty and leaving primary and going to big school coming up ... It nice to keep the lines open.

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