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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Preteen upper lip hair removal

49 replies

Mumtea · 01/03/2021 16:11

Hi, my nearly 12 DD came to me last night asking for help to remove her upper lip hair. It’s not too much but become more noticeable of late and she has dark hair. I hadn’t realised she was bothered/had even noticed it before last night.
Can anyone advise what would be the best way to go about this? I originally thought bleach but maybe not on such young skin. Any advice would be greatly appreciated. Would also prefer something we could do at home rather than having to take her somewhere on a regular basis.
Thanks

OP posts:
MeadowHay · 01/03/2021 16:14

Try the JML Flawless. It's a mini electric shaver, easy, quick, pain-free. It's what I use as maintenance in-between threading (or now where I can't get threaded!). I would recommend threading ultimately but not until she's older as it is very painful for the upper lip.

hodgepodge21 · 01/03/2021 16:16

I used to bleach mine when I was around her age but then when in my twenties moved on to waxing! I personally prefer waxing as it removes it completely (depending on how much hair there is, sunlight can really emphasise a bleached lip!) It hurts a little but not too much, and needs doing everything month or so.

Westfacing · 01/03/2021 16:19

My DS2 (now 39!) had this problem when he was around 10 as he had very dark hair. I used something like Immac cream.

All very simple, bit of cream on for a few minutes, wipe off then wash with water. Didn't cause any problems.

Mumtea · 02/03/2021 00:46

Thank you
@MeadowHay does the trimmer leave stubble?
@hodgepodge21 can you recommend any wax strips... I had a look on Amazon but kept reading horror stories.
@Westfacing
thanks, I did think that might be a good option.

OP posts:
MrsEricBana · 02/03/2021 00:58

I'd have thought Jolen Creme Bleach (sensitive version) is the best thing in the first instance.

BalancedIndividual · 02/03/2021 00:58

Maybe recommend she wait for a bit.

Once you start removing body/facial hair it tends to grow back with a vengeance in future. For me at least :(

FeminismIsForFemales · 02/03/2021 01:06

It's very true that it grows bank thicker once you start. I recommend first making sure your daughter knows that she doesn't have to do this, and that beauty standards for women are very sexist. Make sure she knows it's a choice and she shouldn't be bullied by boys or friends into ever changing her body.

If you decide to do it, I recommend professional laser removal. It only takes a few sessions and is SO much better than shaving/bleaching/waxing which require a ton of maintenance. I had some hair lasered off and it's been amazing. Wish I'd done it years earlier.

BritInAus · 02/03/2021 01:26

Laser hair removal, especially with pale skin and dark hair. Wish I'd gone straight to that much younger, rather than wasting time with waxing, creams etc.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 02/03/2021 01:48

My DD (14) uses an epilator so no stubble as it plucks it out at the root and no having to wait for regrowth for waxing etc as she can do it once a week or whenever she notices it.

It was the absolute bane of my life and made me miserable for 30+ years. Tried Jolene (“why is your moustache blonde?!”) and shaving (“oi Gillette, you need to shave your moustache”) tried covering it with thick make up and had endless electrolysis. Plucked with tweezers one hair at a time for several years until I received an unexpected tax rebate and decided I was going to have IPL treatment.

Changed. My. Life.

As soon as she’s old enough let her have it lasered/IPLed - it cost a few hundred pounds but saved me agonising hours of plucking and gave me my confidence back. Worth every penny.

I don’t buy into all the beauty must haves - eyebrows/fillers/dieting/fashion etc but facial hair is just an absolute confidence killer. There is no characterful spin you can put on it, no upside.

With other things (body shape, curly/flat hair, interesting noses etc) you can possibly style it out with the confidence to embrace the thing you originally hate. With a moustache there’s literally never going to be a way to wear it with style (unless you’re Frida Kahlo!). I do feel for her, poor kid.

BurgundyBells · 02/03/2021 02:22

I'd just wax it.

I buy facial wax strips from home bargains, pound stretcher and similar which cost a couple of quid.

I've tried lots of different brands - both expensive and cheap ones - and other than some slight differences in how to use them (some need warming between the hands, some don't), they're much of a muchness ime and not really much margin for error. The expensive ones are no better than the cheapies so now I just go for the cheapest.

Quick and easy.

In the last year I've also started giving 13 year old ds1 a regular wax (at his request!) of his unibrow 😂 one wax strip is the perfect width for between the brows! It takes us ten seconds but it helps his confidence a lot.

Mumtea · 02/03/2021 08:30

Thanks for all the help, I’ve had a chat and told her there is no need to do anything about it but it’s really bothering her. She’s not one to try out make up, bothered about shaving legs, eye brow plucking etc but I think it’s something that will affect her confidence if I don’t help.
I’m going to have a chat with her, discuss options and see what she wants to do.
Can you recommend an epilator @MarkRuffaloCrumble? I bought one off a fb add and it was rubbish!

OP posts:
MarkRuffaloCrumble · 02/03/2021 10:06

The one my DD uses is a Braun one I got years ago. Probably don’t sell the same one anymore.

It does leave some redness behind fit a while afterwards so best to do it before bed rather than in the mornings. And it stings a bit to start with but you soon get used to it.

MarkRuffaloCrumble · 02/03/2021 10:10

Just had a google and I think it’s a Braun Silk-Epil but I’m sure they all do a similar thing (except by the sound of it, the one you bought on FB!)

Mumtea · 02/03/2021 10:38

Thank you. I will check it out

OP posts:
MeadowHay · 02/03/2021 11:41

Gosh, there is no way I could tolerate epilating my upper lip! I stopped doing my legs because I got out of habit and it got too painful again and I couldn't be arsed anymore. Upper lip is such a sensitive area for hair removal as well. The JML Flawless does not leave stubble, no.

Also it's a myth that hair grows back thicker after shaving. It can just sometimes appear that way as the hair growing back in is blunter to start with.

FTMF30 · 02/03/2021 11:45

Please please don't get your daughter into facial hair removal at such a young age! I say this for her own sake, especially as she has dark hair. It will grow back with a vengeance (like it did for me!).

I only had a bit of a moustache at 13. When I look back, it was not that bad at all, just that the hairs were very visible. I used hair removal cream and soon got caught into a cycle of hair removal as the hairs grew back thicker and darker. I now also have chin hair and it's just out of control! It affects my confidence immensely and I wish I had just left it alone when it was just a few very thin (albeit dark)hairs.

I would definitely recommend trying Jolen bleaching cream first. I honestly think that's a better route.

PiratePetespajamas · 02/03/2021 11:45

I’d use hot wax. And by hot wax, I mean the stuff you don’t use strips on. It’s less painful, and perfect for small areas like this. You can buy tiny pots you put on the stove (less than a fiver I think) or get a professional style heater for about £40 which you buy the little blocks of hot wax. Two or three tiny patches and you’ll be done.

JemimaTiggywinkle · 02/03/2021 12:06

Nair and Veet both do sensitive facial wax strips, you can get them in the supermarket. Would highly recommend this option.

I have dark hair and tried to bleach when I was younger... it just turned into a blonde moustache that glinted in the sun.

Hair removal cream... the regrowth can quite stubbly and noticeable on dark hair. I also had a really bad reaction once and had a bright red moustache outline for a week.

JemimaTiggywinkle · 02/03/2021 12:08

p.s. for those saying not to let her remove it and there’s wasn’t that bad.... I’ve looked back at teenage photos and mine really was that bad.

I was really self conscious about it, and not removing it wasn’t an option for me.

Racquelscottish · 02/03/2021 12:12

I use Shiseido facial hair razors. Very quick, painless and gentle. I do it about once a week, very little faff like bleaching or waxing.

There are other facial razors available but they tend to be less sharp, and the sharper they are the more gentle they are on the skin, so I recommend shiseido.

Racquelscottish · 02/03/2021 12:13

By the way ignore people saying that removing the hair makes it grow back worse... complete urban myth. We tend to get hairier as we get older anyway!

yourealittlelateimalreadytorn · 02/03/2021 12:14

I'd recommend waxing, using an at-home waxing kit, where you melt the wax and apply it with a little wooden stick that looks like something you would eat an ice lolly on. The wax strips you get in the supermarket tend not to work very well. Waxing shouldn't make the hair grow back more thickly, but hair removal cream definitely does! If you do it before bed, there will be no redness in the morning. Although it stings a little bit, it's definitely not as sore as epilating or threading either! By the way it's so lovely that your daughter felt able to speak to you about it, rather than worrying on her own. Probably a good thing for her to realise that tons of women remove facial hair, so she doesn't think that the situation is unique to her.

FTMF30 · 02/03/2021 12:41

@Racquelscottish

By the way ignore people saying that removing the hair makes it grow back worse... complete urban myth. We tend to get hairier as we get older anyway!
HmmAccept it's not, because mine did. My facial hair got pretty out of control soon after using hair removal creams. I spent my teens being very self conscious of multiple thick hairs sprouting. It required a lot of maintenance to keep on top of and made me very self conscious, much worse than I was in the first place.
BalancedIndividual · 02/03/2021 15:55

@MeadowHay

Gosh, there is no way I could tolerate epilating my upper lip! I stopped doing my legs because I got out of habit and it got too painful again and I couldn't be arsed anymore. Upper lip is such a sensitive area for hair removal as well. The JML Flawless does not leave stubble, no.

Also it's a myth that hair grows back thicker after shaving. It can just sometimes appear that way as the hair growing back in is blunter to start with.

I know people say its a myth, but in my case it definitely wasnt and isnt.
Loveagoodbook · 04/03/2021 08:15

I could have written this post myself (actually came on to do so) my DD is 11 and has always been hairy, me and DH are the same.
I've noticed over the last few months that her upper lip has become hairy, she is blonde so not too bad, but now it seems to be turning darker. She has mentioned a few times to me, that she is getting a moustache. I've thought about taking her professionally to get it waxed when salons open, I wax myself, but I'm not confident enough to do her.

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