11 yr old dd, what to expect

[Angrymum5]

My DD is turning 11 on the 12 of October and I have recently been reading the threads about 11 yr girls. I am very shocked about what some mums are letting their DD do aka. crop top, makeup, shaving, taking tube or bus to shopping mall with friends! I would understand for school, but for fun NO WAY!! She is also quite tall for her and has a bigger body build. She is very self conscious these days. I don’t know why! She has very. bad execema on her face sometimes and will go out until forced to! She has no fashion style and wants to re new her wardrobe but nothing at the store fits on her or looks good. She didn’t talk on the way home! She wears size 10 women’s! Her body build is:
147 cm
46 kg
32” waist
Should I be worried?

[GreyishDays]

Does she have a nice group of friends? I know my daughter’s will look out for each other so I’m happy for her to go shopping with one or two of them. She always has her phone and a back up plan for if she got lost or lost her phone. What exactly are you worried about happening?

[GreyishDays]

If she fits a size ten clothes then let her wear those? It looks like she is overweight, but she needs clothes that fit. Just take her to h&m and let her choose some sweatshirts. Or let her go with friends.

[Kanaloa]

Yes I don’t get why she can shave at 13/14 but not at 11/12. If you’re worried about her cutting herself maybe she can use a cream instead? I still don’t see any big issue, except that she seems to have quite low self esteem as she won’t go out unless forced.

[Kanaloa]

Just out of curiosity, do you measure/weigh her often? You know her exact measurements and weight. Maybe if she can sense your anxieties/judgement about her weight, shaving, makeup etc it’s making her more anxious.

[Angrymum5]

Thanks for all of your advice! At the moment she is not hairy at all and I wasn’t until I was 13 which is why I am saying she might! She is very responsible and mature! We have planned a shopping trip to Oxford Street on her birthday. But please remember she is not 11 YET! So for now I won’t give her a lot of freedom. As she gets older, then we’ll see!

[cherrypiepie]

Ok so cropped tops make up etc are perfectly normal for 11 years old to be interested in. So I would allow it in a controlled way - Eg at home on holiday but not for special occasions. Going to a shopping mall etc that's up to you but I wouldn't let a primary aged child go. Also I think getting school uniform is a parental responsibility an she should not go alone to do this. Different than going and buying a fast fashion top!

Skin need to be sorted by gp and be persistent.

I was a similar size and you just have to put time in finding something she likes and feel comfy in. Leggings and t shirts seem to be popular and cheap from primark. Supermarket etc.What does she want to wear? . Avoid letting her wear your hand me downs as she deserves to be developing her own identity.

So much can change in 6 months at that age. Try not to despair carry on with the healthy eating.

[MyMomisaplumber]

I have two Dd age 13 and 9. The 9 year old is much more physically and emotionally mature than the 13 year old. She is interested in makeup and clothes. Her older sister couldn’t care less. Please let her be herself- obviously within safe limits

[Angrymum5]

@Kanaloa

Just out of curiosity, do you measure/weigh her often? You know her exact measurements and weight. Maybe if she can sense your anxieties/judgement about her weight, shaving, makeup etc it’s making her more anxious.

Every 6 weeks. Yesterday measured bra size. Looked online but they all look like this And they will show through her school shirt, and she isn't that developed. Bra Size: 34A but read a guide and has none of signs showing she needs one.

[dementedpixie]

What measuring guide did you use? Nude bras don't show through shirts

[dementedpixie]

Why are you weighing her every 6 weeks? That's very OTT

[Whatwouldscullydo]

What's wrong with those bras

[Angrymum5]

Oh sorry weighing probably every 6 months tbh, height every 6 weeks as she pesters me all the time to measure her height

[Angrymum5]

@dementedpixie

What measuring guide did you use? Nude bras don't show through shirts

We are going to find some without any cups as she dosen't need cups, any suggestions?

[dementedpixie]

For bra size
Measure under bust = back size (do not add extra inches)
Measure over fullest part - each inch difference between under and over measurement gives cup size
1 inch = A
2 inch = B
3 inch = C
Then its D, DD, E, F, FF, etc

[Angrymum5]

@Whatwouldscullydo

What's wrong with those bras

She dosen't need a full cup. She's just turned 11

[Beamur]

I wouldn't let a 10 year old go into London with friends. But I would let mine go to local shops/park, etc. At this age they start to need to learn a bit more independence and confidence ahead of going to high school.
It's a little bit odd that you measure your DD quite so often, have you been advised to do this by a doctor? Otherwise I would be concerned you are going to make her feel very self conscious, even if your intentions are good.
A non underwired neutral coloured bra (depending on skin tone) doesn't show up much under a white shirt.

[dementedpixie]

My dd had breasts at 11 and started wearing a bra. You seem very fixated on what you can and cannot do at age 11

[Beamur]

Those bras linked to are absolutely fine for young women and girls.

[Angrymum5]

@dementedpixie

For bra size
Measure under bust = back size (do not add extra inches)
Measure over fullest part - each inch difference between under and over measurement gives cup size
1 inch = A
2 inch = B
3 inch = C
Then its D, DD, E, F, FF, etc

I used the exact guide you used
Band: 31 inchs
Bust: 33 inchs
Did I put the size wrong?

[Whatwouldscullydo]

If shes an A then a bra like that will fit . Unless she's an AA in which case crop tops are still fine as that's a zero difference.

Is it the moulding you object to? As surprisingly they actually are better in alot of ways as they hide the natural unevenness and protect from rubbing against shirts.

[dementedpixie]

Thats more like 30B or 30C then
Where did you get 34A from?

[Angrymum5]

@dementedpixie

My dd had breasts at 11 and started wearing a bra. You seem very fixated on what you can and cannot do at age 11

My DD dosen't tho

[dementedpixie]

Or sister sizes of 30B or 30C are 32A or 32B

[Angrymum5]

@dementedpixie

Thats more like 30B or 30C then
Where did you get 34A from?

a online calculator lol

[WreckTangled]

My dd is 10 and quite well developed but still prefers the sports style crop tops, we just got some from M&S. she hates the hassle of bra clasps and says they not comfortable so what about something like that?