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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

Original poster

Upset over first bra

43 replies

Toomanycats99 · 30/08/2019 15:42

I have taken my dd to buy first proper bra and it seems to be upsetting her so much. She has been in crop tops but really needs something more supportive.

She is a overweight and I don't know if it is just this is causing the upset but she's in floods of tears and won't let me check the fit or anything.

Am I beat to just go for a sports bra - does size of it matter so much?

Anyone been through this?

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 30/08/2019 16:21

What size have they put her in and where did you go? Have you tried measuring her yourself?

Original poster
Toomanycats99 · 30/08/2019 16:56

I measured at home as she burst in tears when I told her I had made an appointment.

It took about 25 minutes of sitting in the cubicle for her t let me check the fit of one. I think she is just very very self conscious.

OP posts:
Mummyoftwo91 · 30/08/2019 16:58

I was like this when my mum took me, I was also overweight, i found the whole thing mortifying, in the end my mum bought a selection and left them in my room for my to try on alone where I felt comfortable and she took back what I didn't like/what didn't fit

TheBigBallOfOil · 30/08/2019 16:59

I think this is very common. Could you buy three or four that seem to be in the right ballpark and let her pick herself in her own time?

TheBigBallOfOil · 30/08/2019 17:00

Ha see great minds thinking alike!!

Windydaysuponus · 30/08/2019 17:00

Took me ages to pluck up the courage. Told dm I was glad it get that off my chest. And she laughed! Felt bloody stupid. Your dd is lucky you are there for her..

LeekMunchingSheepShagger · 30/08/2019 17:01

Does she actually want a bra? They're not compulsory!

Helenluvsrob · 30/08/2019 17:03

You don’t “ neeed “ to wear a bra at any age. I’d give up. She’ll learn at some point it’s more comfy / better shape.

However the issue is 99% not wanting to grow up. That needs talking about. The bra isn’t really the issue

Thehagonthehill · 30/08/2019 17:03

You don't say how old she is or if she wants a bra or just needs better crop tops.

dementedpixie · 30/08/2019 17:05

I measured dd and then ordered online. She wouldn't have wanted a stranger to measure her.

Remember when measuring that you don't add extra inches to the back size e.g if they measure 30 under bust then that is the back size. The difference between under and over the bust gives cup size - each inch difference means a bigger cup (A, B, C, D, DD, E, F, FF, G, etc)

Original poster
Toomanycats99 · 30/08/2019 17:06

Im glad to hear it's not just her.

Well she let me check the fit of the strap at the back and I managed to peak at front and looked ok. However they realised we couldn't get it as underwired not for under 16's (was confused as the angel range which didn't fit right seemed underwired but apparently that soft underwriting or something!)

Anyway we brought a non wired in same size so will let her try that at home and hopefully that fits ok and I can get some more.

OP posts:
Original poster
Toomanycats99 · 30/08/2019 17:08

She is quite broad backed so I did suggest we go for soft sports bras if she didn't like the proper ones.

I measured her at a b cup which seemed right from what she tried on.

OP posts:
IHaveBrilloHair · 30/08/2019 17:09

Dd would have been horrified at being measured by a stranger at that age.
Definitely do what others have suggested and buy a selection for her to try at home, or if she's not keen on an actual bra, some supportive crop tops.

dementedpixie · 30/08/2019 17:12

Dd wears an underwire and she's 15. I couldn't find a non underwire in her size

dementedpixie · 30/08/2019 17:12

What was the back size? B cup means nothing without a back size

Original poster
Toomanycats99 · 30/08/2019 17:13

@dementedpixie

36

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 30/08/2019 17:15

Is that without adding inches to the back size? I am a 36 back at size 20/22

dementedpixie · 30/08/2019 17:16

Was it M&S? They tend to add extra inches to the back size and make a bra too big in the back and too small in the cup

dementedpixie · 30/08/2019 17:17

What age is she?

Thehagonthehill · 30/08/2019 17:21

For a 36B you could also look at the non wired adult bras.Thete are some nice non Lacey ,non padded ones in M&S.
DD also liked the secret support vests in M&S as they gave the necessary support but you couldn't see a bra through her school shirt and she found it less embarrassing for sport,seemed to allow less jiggling than a bra.She was a c cup.
She now happily ditches her bra after school and often at weekends.

Original poster
Toomanycats99 · 30/08/2019 17:22

Yea - she is very broad backed. Age 12 but will wear adult size 10-12 clothes. Very tall as well! (and big feet!)

OP posts:
dementedpixie · 30/08/2019 17:23

Theres no way shes a 36 back if she wears size 10-12 adult clothes

Original poster
Toomanycats99 · 30/08/2019 17:29

Honestly @dementedpixie that's what I measure her at at that is what back size fitted when she tried that size on! But she only wears t shirts so maybe they stretch!

OP posts:
TixieLix · 30/08/2019 17:34

My DD was the opposite - didn't mind the lady in the store measuring her but didn't want me doing it. To this day (she's now 20), she's been careful to cover up and never let me see her in her bra (though she walks about in a bikini!) Completely different to my DD18 who always walks about in just bra and pants.

SummerHouse · 30/08/2019 17:38

I am a size 10-12 and wear a 36B. When I got measured they put me in a 32F. It's a bloody minefield!! Strangly enough both seem to fit. Confused

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