Upset over first bra

[Toomanycats99]

I have taken my dd to buy first proper bra and it seems to be upsetting her so much. She has been in crop tops but really needs something more supportive.

She is a overweight and I don't know if it is just this is causing the upset but she's in floods of tears and won't let me check the fit or anything.

Am I beat to just go for a sports bra - does size of it matter so much?

Anyone been through this?

Enough of people pushing the boob or bust method!

I accept adding the inches doesn't work for everyone, but nor does the boob or bust method. I'm a 34 back at size ten. I would LITERALLLY need to break a couple of my ribs to fit into a 30 back and though I managed to get a 32 done up, my back hurt the rest of the evening after having it on for a couple of minutes it was so tight (oh and I was a 36 back when I was a bit heavier and a size 12).

Anyway, side rant over, do as others have suggested - let her try them on on her own. Try a few different styles and sizes. Maybe show her some pictures online of how they should fit so she can decide for herself if it's fitting properly and is comfortable. Sports bras sound like a good idea - both for ease of fitting/ less of a change from crop tops and also because if she's uncomfortable with her changing body they flatten you down a bit.

But I'd also have a chat with her (in the car/ somewhere you aren't face to face so it's easier for her) about why she got so upset. Most teens are pretty self conscious, but she might be being bullied about her weight/ getting comments from boys about her boobs or something that's upsetting her so much.

You must measure 32 under bust then! I'm surprised the B cup fits without overspill as 36B has a much smaller cup volume than 32F.

Sister sizes of 36B are 34C, 32D, 30DD.

The bra lady said measure your back then add 4 inches for the bra back size

I was in an ill fitting 40C bra after being measured by M&S. I now wear a 36GG after measuring myself.

The bra lady is wrong then

Agreed @NameChange92.
Annoying isn't it?

I'm a 10/12 and wear a 32 back. Are you sure the 36 is tight enough?

Adding 4 inches doesn't work if you only have a couple of inches difference between under and over bust which leads to impossible bra sizes e.g.

Measure 30 under and 33 over
I would make that a 30C

Adding 4 inches would give 34 and 33-34 = -1
There is no cup size for a negative number

Why is it annoying when lots of of people are wearing bras that are not supportive under the bust and too small in the cup?

My daughter just measured herself and I bought about 10 bras in the sale in different sizes. She kept the ones she liked (2, I think) and I took back the rest. She'd have been seriously unimpressed if I'd taken her to m and s, or somewhere to be measured.

@cocomelon23

The 36 in the angel range she said she could not even do up! Normal adult one fitted.

DD is just a tiny bit older and we have found Primark's range of wireless bras, seamfree and sports bras to work very well for her.

She is currently a 30E using the method MN likes, and takes a medium in the wireless bras. They are lightly padded, nicely shaped, supportive, very soft and adjustable, plus cheap - which is excellent as she was changing bra size monthly at some stages of puberty.

www.primark.com/en/categories/womens/lingerie-and-underwear/bras/wireless-bra-3pk/p/123317487

[https://www.primark.com/en/categories/womens/lingerie-and-underwear/bras/bralet/seamfree-bra-3pk/p/125719425]]

[https://www.primark.com/en/categories/womens/lingerie-and-underwear/bras/black-fishnet-workout-bra/p/125421600]]

What were the under and over measurements? Dd used to wear the angel range but had to order different ones through Amazon last time as they didn't have a big enough cup size in the M&S range

Could she put a stroppy top on and just roll it down so her tummy is covered when she’s trying on?

*strappy top 😂

@namechange92 hear hear. I looked at the Boob or bust thing myself and there is no way I would tolerate a size 30 band around my ribs. I get some people find it works for them, but I wish they would stop telling those of us it doesn't work for that we're wearing the wrong size (when they can't even see what we look like)!

OP - I can empathise with your DD. Bras and periods upset me when I had to deal with them. With hindsight it was not wanting to grow up. I'm still a bit like it now (39 and only just pregnant for the first time - very much a late developer!). Good that she's got you as a DM as you sound really supportive. I'd second what some of the others have said about the adult bras having some good non-wired options in M&S in those sizes (I've just had to buy a few because of pregnancy changing my size - and yes, I am pretty gutted about that too! 😱).

I hate boob or bust and the assertion that nobody is an A.

I’m a 28 back and a 29 chest. I assure you. I’m a bloody A!

At least you're not adding inches willy nilly to your measurements! Lots of people on here have said they have been measured as an A cup but arent due to those added back inches. There are several threads about it