My feed

to access all these features

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.


12yo boy - what else can I do?

5 replies

Meeeh · 31/05/2019 22:29

My tween is driving me bonkers. He seems he’ll bent on having a gf. In his terms it’s texting back and forth and then they dump eachother after a few days and within minutes he’s on to the next one.

He has a child iPhone with limited gaming and social time, no WhatsApp, YouTube and his phone shuts down to sleep mode at 8pm. He knows i check his texts and he’s been in trouble numerous times about language and phone taken away for awhile.

Tonight I find he’s been texting a new girl and she’s VILE - saying things like “you want to fuck me” and sent him something that looked like a cum face. She also called him a little bitch, gay, wet and all sorts.

What do I do?’ I told him this was totally inappropriate and a low point and he’s not having his phone tomorrow at all.

He’s not mentally mature but physically in full on puberty and walks around with a semi erection most of the time. I’m frankly concerned he’ll have adult experiences before he’s ready if the girls are this forward.

Any advice on how to get though to him?

OP posts:
Manclife1 · 31/05/2019 22:36

Take the phone off him as he clearly can’t be trusted. At the moment he’s at risk of sending/receiving inappropriate pictures that could result in police getting involved.

Meeeh · 01/06/2019 10:16

That’s what I’ve done and we’ve had a serious chat. I don’t want to sound like a prudish snob but he’s gone to senior school and it’s huge and has a very varied cohort of pupils. Some of them have backgrounds that would make you cry yourself to sleep and guess what?! Those are the kids he’s hanging out with. Up until gone midnight on group calls and chats and he’s normally in bed by 8.30 so I’ve already blocked out his phone for calls after 7.30pm.

The interesting thing is he almost seems relieved when I clamp down. Came into my bed this morning and was all childish and said how much he loves me.

I can’t bloody wait for the summer holidays so we can rinse some of this trash out of his life for a couple of months.

OP posts:
Manclife1 · 01/06/2019 12:34

Sounds like he’s feeling a lot of peer pressure and by you clamping down he can at least have an excuse as to why he’s not joining in. Perhaps discuss this with him. I’ve told my kids if they’re ever in a position where they feel pressured to do something then they can say no an blame it all on me. Certainly for my son it’s been a lifesaver.

reytmardy · 05/07/2019 20:12

I would report the texts to the school. Also get Qustodio app installed on his phone and yours. You will have total control over the phone with it.
Block all texts/calls, except your number and any other safe contacts. You pay for the phone, you set the rules. Protect him from vile things he doesn't need at such a young age

Dragongirl10 · 05/07/2019 20:15

I would message the girl back and tell her l am reading her texts....vile

I think you are doing the right things op, can you talk to him frankly about good relationships v bad relationships etc..,.....l think you need to bluntly discuss consent/protection/the law

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.