What do you do when your children are getting ready for bed?

[onesie1001]

I seem to have supervise them for a whole 2 hours, 2 DD aged 10 and 8. Remind them what needs to be done. Had to stand over my 10 year old today as she washed her hair.

Please be honest and tell me if this is normal or ridiculous?

I think normal. I still help my dc to rinse all the shampoo out of their hair, help dry and brush hair, remind them to do teeth. Still walk dc up to bed and make sure they have a book and tuck them in.

No, not normal (in our house).

I’m a DSM to a 9 & 12 year old. They can get themselves ready for bed on their own and take themselves off to bed. The 9 year old can shower himself, including washing himself and his hair and doesn’t need to be watched, helped or supervised. Sounds like they need to learn some independence.

Have 11 yr old dd. Shes just fully independent washing and dressing. Its bliss.

8 and 10 yr old - they can shower/wash themselves; I do ask every night if they have brushed their teeth, other than that they get themselves ready for bed.
8 year old still gets a book in bed and reads out loud most nights.
10 year old goes upstairs by herself and when ready for bed , she gets a chat and is tucked in. Im sure she doesn’t need a tuck in, but am happy to do it and she likes it.

I have an 8 and 10 year old, (plus a 5, 14 and 17 year old.)

I tell the 8 and 10 year old when it is 8pm. They shower, wash hair, get pj's and brush teeth. They come down and say goodnight at 8:30 and show me their teeth. Then they go to bed. They read until 9pm and then lights off and a kiss goodnight. That's it.

I'm busy cleaning the kitchen and getting myself ready for bed!

So I would say ridiculous but I think it's quite common. I had to teach my dc how to do it themselves, they didn't just do it.

I think its pretty normal, definately not rediculous
8 year old ds has eczema so I help him put his moisturiser on before bed, will also check hes doing his teeth and sometimes clean them a bit after to make sure they are done properly.
10 year old dd has curly hair past her bum, so its easier for me to help get the tangles out in the bath and dry it from behind, I also plait it for bed.
As i'm in the bathroom with both of them before bed I will check they have washed their.
They put them self in bed and I will come up 10 minutes later to kiss them goodnight and check they have everything they need. They often use that time talk to us about anything they are worried about.
2 hours is a long time though, mine get about half an hour of my help every night, what takes so long?

mine (12 and 8) can and often do put themselves to bed (everything except brushing teeth - if that isn't supervised, it isn't done) but i find my 12 yr old in particular is becoming more insistent that I 'help' her with really simple things and insisting I go up and cuddle her before she goes to sleep. She's having a bit of a hard time at the moment with school, so i think the place they're in mentally can really affect what they 'can' do on their own.

I started ‘training’ them from aged 6 to do it all so from about aged 8 they independently did their own personal care. From aged 10 I started with cleaning their own shower/bathroom/bedroom/changing bedsheets... I occasionally oversee to see if anything needs ‘working on’. I have a pressurised job and work full time so it was important for my sanity that they can be independent in many aspects as soon as possible whilst still remaining children IFSWIM. I haven’t conquered homework yet though. When do they just go and do it without being asked or supervised - this is probably personality driven I suspect.

My dd is 10 and has been able to put herself to bed including showering, washing and drying waist length hair, for at least the last year. I don’t have to ask her to shower or clean teeth or remind her of the time.
Each child and family are different though. If you are happy with how it’s going then that’s all that matters. If you want things to change then it’s never too late but the longer you leave it, the harder it will be to ask them to act independently.

Mine are 8, 10 and 12. I potter around putting away laundry etc while the 8yo has a bath, so not supervising but nearby. Supervise teeth brushing, then read him a story. 12yo does everything himself, I’m not involved at all (except making sure it happens!). 10yo somewhere in between. They all wash their own hair though.

I think some of it could be down to personality.

Some adults faff around forever going to bed.

I think it’s ridiculous, and normal.
Ds , almost 11 needs to be redirected a lot. Dd aged 13, very bright, otherwise independant, loves to fanny around for hours on end using endless distraction techniques to augment bedtime.

8 and a 10yr old here. They need reminding, both wash themselves, but I generally potter upstairs as they don't like going upstairs alone in the dark.
I wash their hair in the shower.

I put them to bed, sing a silly song and turn out the light. They like it, I like it... what's the harm.

10yr old needs nagging to do their homework, 8 yr old does it independently.

Both normal and ridiculous.
My 13 yo is more independent, my 8 yo still needs a lot of reminders.
I find that if I want them to be more independent I have to let go of high standards. They’ll improve in time.

Bring ten year old up, he wont go on his own,tell him to put on his pj's, supervise teeth brushing face and hands washing, tuck him in with hot water bottle maybe a bowl of cereal and read a chapter of current book to him. We'really finishing A Place called Perfect.Then short chat about his day, cuddles, prayers.lights out. Love putting him to bed. He's the baby.it takes I don't know 30 minutes or so.

We have two hour bedtimes (11 & 9).
Constant squabbling, mucking around, ignoring me etc. All my attempts to train them into a good routine go in one ear and out the other.
I had evenings when they were toddlers and went to bed at 7. Not any more.

Mine is nearly 11, for at least the last year she’s been entirely responsible for getting herself ready for bed. Needs to be told to go and shower, and reminded to wash her hair every couple of days but doesn’t need standing over to do it. If DH is home and it’s not too late he reads to her in bed before he goes for his own shower. Normally I’m tidying the kitchen while she’s upstairs showering and sorting herself out.

I still have to wash & dry DD9's hair, when I have left her to do it herself she hasn't rinsed it properly and still soaking wet! I find it's just easier to keep helping her for now, although she turns 10 next month so I think we will start getting her to do it on her own.

Bedtimes take a while here only because I quite often read with each of them although they are 8,10 and 12 and perfectly capable readers. We enjoy it. Having said that they can sort themselves out if needed, with reminders to brush teeth etc. I help dd aged 10 with washing hair as its long and curly but she can do it herself if need be. Personally I think it's a bit sad when people send children aged 6 or 7 up to bed without taking any part in bedtime. They grow up quickly, make the most of this time while they are small. I still sing mine a lullaby and say goodnight even if they read on their own.

My DDs shower in the mornings... bed time is just up to room ( they are normally in there anyway), pjs on and in to bed. I come up and say goodnight. They are 12 and 16 tho.

Why is everyone washing hair before bed?

Do all MN kids wash hair every night? sound like it on here!! But by 8 or so they should be pretty independent. I've run Brownies and on residentials you tell them when to go to get ready for bed. Tell them to brush teeth and go to the loo but I'd expect them to be pretty independent. I've seen girls pair up to brush each others hair and that is the way it should be.

I think at that age I was supervising/reminding but it never took two hours. Closer to 30 mins and then probably a story or a chat sat on the bed for five min before tucking in

9 year old boy - washes himself in the bath alone with door open - normally I am pottering about changing beds, putting washing away or helping younger siblings that I have bathed just before so will chat to him whilst doing that. I'll then go and see him into bed, listen to him read and then put a film on.

It’s usually my quiet time. I catch up on the news or something. DD9 goes to the bathroom, does her stuff. Sometimes has to be reminded to hurry up a bit but generally takes care of her stuff herself. The when she is in bed, I go and read to her. That’s her favourite part so she knows if she takes to long, that doesn’t happen.

DD has a disability to teaching her to do these things herself was part of her OT targets.