9 year old son asking questions about where babies come from 😕

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My 9 year old son has started asking questions about how babies are born and how they are made. The problem I have is, I'm not sure how much detail I should go into !! He's never asked anything about this stuff before so it's come as a bit of a shock !! I've bought the Usbourne book 'what is happening to me?' but after reading it I found it rather too descriptive !! Any advise would be most appreciated.

😂😂😂

Our nine yr old hasn't a clue and I'm not in the least worried. We'll tell him at some point.

Some ppl on this thread are getting very het up!

fizz mine were both sections so know babies can come out both ways. 8yr old DD ended up watching a calm planned one on 'One Born'.

No I don't mean it's not important, I mean it's the easy part to explain. It's the part about sperm coming from the penis and into the vagina that most people find it hard to explain to a child.

Exactly Angela.

DD knows all about how babies come out. She loves my c-section scar, lol.

She knows all about seeds. And where they live. Her dad's testicular cancer helped with that one.

But she has never asked how the seed and egg get together. What do you do? Just drop it into conversation 😯

ittooshallpass I told DD "a man has to put his penis in a woman's vagina and let the sperm out." She was about 7 for this part, (4-5 for the basics.) She was completely grossed out (as was I, but done my best to hide it). I also made sure I told her it's only done when you're an adult, you both really care about each other blah blah blah.

Whether I was right or wrong for doing that, I don't know, but I'd rather she heard it here first!

Your nine year olds may not have a clue, but they'll be hearing all sorts in the playground by now. I think its only fair to arm them with the truth.

DS picked up that Usborne book from the library when he was 7 and liked it a lot so I got him a copy. (I'd already got the girls versions for his big sister). It's just facts, there's nothing wrong with knowing this stuff, it doesn't make them any less 'innocent'.
As others have said, if they don't know the facts they will be told a lot of nonsense in the playground which is likely to worry them a lot more than knowing the truth.
Also bear in mind that some children start puberty at 9. This definitely happened in DDs class, one girl got her periods at 9 / 10. So if it's happening to other children around them surely best they know about it!

Children come across this in nature anyway, we were camping in the summer next to a field of donkeys with a rather virile male donkey.... The kids found it amusing but didn't have to ask me what was going on so they obviously know all they need to!

So glad for sex education at school. My mum told me absolutely nothing, which was crap believe me.
I know that as a parent it can seem a difficult thing to do to explain sex and puberty, but it's really important not to make your child feel there is anything naughty or dirty about it or that it should be kept a secret. That will only lead to problems later on and they may feel scared to tell you things.

OKlumberjack you've made me delurk just to say - wahay, you've just brought back my childhood in three easy pictures! I had that book too from about the age of 5. I credit it (and my parents for answering questions without grossing out!) for giving me a good, non scary (well, apart from the swimming baby!) introduction to how babies are made, and what sex was. Thank you for taking me back years and years !

johnnywhitetrash.com/wp-content/uploads/2015/06/how5.jpg

Just for Pombear

I've been googling images of that book!

Yay DameDiazepam! God, I'd forgotten completely some of those images. They were slightly oddly drawn and luckily didn't set my expectations too much to expect what the drawings depict! And that hair....! Thank you, thank you. I feel five again!

My pleasure Pombear. I think the book should be more widely known. Definitely should be back in print.

I loved the mum's bunches, and the weirdness that the Dad didn't put his clothes back on throughout the whole nine months out of some kind of solidarity with his woman.

I own a copy of the book - it was the one my DM gave to me as a child. I have in turn read it with my DCs and have now designated it an official family heirloom (we don't do christening gowns so I guess this is the next best thing).

The best bit is the couple tootling off to hospital in their flower painted hippy mobile.

Perspicacia, it really works well as a family heir loom. You can't seem to get hold of a copy these days forunder £50!

Thank you for responding Angela. I am comfortable with giving daughter a straightforward explanation about sex, but she has never asked!

She asked loads of questions around age 3-4. I was really pleased to get it all sorted while she was young, lol... but the questions tried up. And now nothing. It never comes up. So that's my question: do I instigate the conversation or leave her to ask?

I've done all the discussion of sperm and eggs and pregnancy and birth and way too many on periods and yes it's ok that willies go hard and stick up sometimes and if you want to play with yours that's ok IN PRIVATE and wash your hands after. Have a 4 year gap before dd so ds was fascinated by my pregnancy.

He knows intellectually that sex = adult penis into vagina, but now is asking "what is sex" (and that the CEx store is called sex in the TV ads which recommend 'phone CEx'...), clearly trying to ask what is the big deal and why do people go silly and make 'whoo' noises when the subject comes up.

The social aspects are going to be much harder to explain, especially to a boy with ASD, but telling him not to worry until he's grown up isn't going to cut it soon - he's 8. At least he does know the main physical info - I luckily had human reproduction in science in Y7 and have never been so flabbergasted in all my life!😂

I might enforce watching Blackadder 2, which probably covers every joke about sex in popular culture...

Parts of that book are too descriptive but just skip the bits he's too young for and tell him about babies. It's not like you need to read him the detail about dreams in puberty etc.

I forgot to add, better the usborne book than reading the joy of sex (and that's a misnomer if there ever was one)

Pregnancies in girls under 18 dropped by more than half since 1997 (52%, govt stats). That's when the Teenage Pregnancy Reduction Strategy was brought in - lots of high quality sex education delivered not just in schools but youth clubs etc. There is also speculation that the internet has given teenagers something else to do

My 7, nearly 8YO has never asked a thing. I'm all set, with the literature, to answer any questions he has.

I expect it will actually be his younger sister who gets in with the questions first. All she's asked me is 'how old are you when you have babies?'

And oklumberjack - we had that book as kids!

... Isn't this just another "get people to talk about their kids knowing about sex" post?

Wasn't there a troll (or several of them) a while back doing this? the innocence thing especially?

This post has made Austrailian Sunrise facebook page!!!

Whenever I see threads like this or hear of similar in real life I'm concerned. Not just in terms of children learning wrong and possibly frightening or dangerous information in the playground but because it suggests the parents haven't discussed bodily autonomy, personal safety, body confidence...

Very worrying

Numerous studies show the more information kids have on this stuff they're safer, develop a healthier attitude to sex and relationships and less likely to be exploited, or as they get older get pregnant too young or get sti's.

And yes I'm another one who had the conversation with their child way before 9. By 9 lots of children are already entering puberty (boys and girls) so leaving it so late means they're more likely to feel embarrassed, not want to discuss it or worse they're having periods/wet dreams and not knowing what's going on means they're scared!

This happened with my sister, parents left it and left it and she started her periods aged 9 and thought she was dying. But hid it as mum had recently had another bereavement and she didn't want to worry her. Completely avoidable situation.

Op there's a million things we have to do as parents we'd really rather not, trust me as they get older into teens it gets worse! But you just have to get on with it.

My DD asked age 3, you just give an age appropriate answer. At 9 I would give full facts, supported by a book if necessary.?