10yo daughter helps out voluntarily at stables and is being accused of not working hard enough

[Shellybash]

My daughter took up horse riding 7 months ago and absolutely loves it. Her and her trainer get on so well together and really share a special bond.

Since the summer, she and I have been helping out in the yard, mucking out, tacking up, all the usual stuff. She's a very petite age 10 (still wears 6 - 7 yrs clothes) so she's not exactly strong but really does her best.

In the last few weeks she has been going to the stables on her own to help out, however, in the last 3 weeks, I have had messages from the trainer advising that my daughter is causing issues.

A new yard manager appears to be advising the trainer that my daughter is not listening, is deliberately ignoring instructions, and is being lazy and is taking breaks when there's work to be done. My daughter typically spends between 4 and 8hrs there at any given time.

This seems so unlike the little girl who helped me at the summer. I didn't expect too much from her, and I know she loves to cuddle the ponies, but I was surprised and really pleased to see her tack up, un-tack, groom and carry saddles to and from the tack room! She struggles with the weight from even the tiniest saddle but she pushes through it! :)

This work is completely voluntary and my daughter gets no treat for doing it either from us, her parents, or the riding school. She simply just loves being there.

My first reaction is one of pure and utter RAGE as I know the stables are desperate for any help they can get, so to single out my daughter in this way seems very harsh in my opinion. If she sweeps up even a little, then she has done more than anyone who didn't show up to help that day..

If anyone has any advice or tips to help me calm down before I chat with the trainer I would very much appreciate it.

Thanks all x

Sorry sunny never worked at one, just visited a few times. I wouldn't expect it in Germany though, those yards are quite different- well tbd I've only been to dressage yards over there.
Maybe i sound harsh OP, but i guess it's my background. I grew up with a lot of eventing where we just don't have time for faffing. Maybe they are just trying to get her used to proper yard pace?

Rather sour posts here. Curdle milk some of them.

I think the owner hasn't planned what the kids should do. The manager has no direction and different expectations. There should be a list of jobs helpers are given for the day per person.

So say 4 kids then each child gets a list of a handful of specific boxes mucked, sweep the yard, groom 3 ponies, tack 3 ponies, clean tack of 3 ponies, feed 3 ponies, water, tidy school.

It's lack of organisation that's causing the issues. Get it organised and everyone's happy.

Be very wary of thinking a free ride might be given. In my experience no one ever remembers whose owed what. Do it to groom only. Pay for riding. Less trouble/upset

Good luck

Stables are potentially dangerous places so I can understand that children have to do what they are told and work sensibly. DS2 would love with work at an animal shelter or wildlife rescue but none of them will even consider him until he is 14. I guess the new broom finds a horde of enthusuatic girls a bit frustrating but those are what she has to work with. Most stables only get by due to volunteers. I am guessing she will mellow but no reason why your DD has to hang around to wait.

DD left her second stables for a similar problem. She rode once a fortnight but helped out every saturday. We cant afford more than once a fortnight but DD loved being with the horses. Unfortunately there were many instance of the owner losing her temper with the children helping out for not doing things properly or quick enough, getting them to weed her garden and generally using them as free labour. We upped and left and told her why. She did have the good grace to apologise but said that she relied on the helpers and needed them to do a good job and there were always plenty of others to take her place.

She started going to the local agricultural college for lessons and has learned to ride properly now rather than just being plonked on a horse and taken out for a hack. The new instructor used to be in the Horse Guards and he takes no SHIT! They don't need help as they have students to do it all but she also found a local stud where they appreciate her help and she goes there every saturday.

Awww - super cute Tazzle22!! Thanks for sharing...

Hi NeedABumChange - feel like I'm having to justify myself to you. Not going there. She DOES work hard.

Thanks all for the comments.

boomtown the 'sour' posts have come from people with years of bitter experience

I think there are two thing you should consider. Is she safe? and is she and the yard getting something valuable out of it?

I worked on yards for years as a teenager - eventually paid as head girl at the weekends, and it is really hard work. We had masses of kids around (1970's), but our safety standards were a lot lower than they are today.

Yards are dangerous places though. The owner of ours was hospitalised a few weeks ago by an exuberant kick from a horse she was turning out - completely random action by a old horse - it bucked and just caught her has she turned to walk away.

Why not suggest a compromise and just do a couple of hours a day until she is a bit older - with you around to help out also?

Sorry to be "sour" and I'm not "bitter" either just realistic.

If she enjoys it then let her carry on and if she doesn't tell her to stop. This is really a question of what she wants from riding. Does she want to compete professionally or be more of a happy hacker? Both are completely fine but maybe the new manager is simply from a different background to the last one.

I do like boomtowns idea of her getting a list of expected jobs to do. Much more efficient and then no one can say she isn't pulling her weight.

oh of you think that one was cute how about this lol.

These DGC now teenagers and moved far away but still lurve horses... so Taz is now helping other peoples DC and people with disabilities to learn about equines ( not just riding)

I have the "luxury" to be able to do this with a small amount of people at a time with very well trained and calm "bomproofed" horses with loads experience and very little time / expectation pressure.

A riding school is a different kettle of fish indeed with usually a high turnover of riders usually beginners within short periods of time ...and with multiple pupils in a session. I would find it hard enough to give good quality lessons to a novice rider with one or two pupils never mind a larger group .... so a good and ethical instructor might well get frustrated and tired not only not being able to do more than is possible but then be aware that they are relying on volunteers to do all the basic stuff and need it done "properly" ... eg it vital that when rugged / saddled its put on propely and checked as any little bit of mud/ crease in saddle pad is not only uncomfortable it could cause a horse to be uncomfortable and express it in the lesson putting rider at risk

Its hard to get helpers old enough and reponsible enough to adequately supervise younger / less experienced helpers at many of the basic level riding schools where insurance and other costs are sky high and wages for paid staff low.

Most helpers do it for the love of it and to learn not for any renumeration... just the hope they might ocasionally get a ride / experience ( even if it is the ponies no one else wants to ride :-) )

My friend gave up her riding school due to all the above issues and now just concentrates on giving small lessons to very highly motivated individuals who do all the work to get the horse ready etc... learning about horsemanship / management not just riding . Its a hard business to be in despite the "rosy" views some people have of it.

meant to add, yes agree, list of jobs great idea... thats what I do with work experience /volunteers here

boomtown , not being sour or bitter , when I'm paying upwards of £120 per week per horse for them to be looked after I expect them to be looked after by suitably qualified people not children . I really doubt that the yard in the OP s case has the proper insurance in place for these helpers and horses can be very dangerous - I had my skull fractured at 14 when my own horse decided to lay down whilst she was tied up for grooming and I didn't move quickly enough.

Just another thought - I wonder if they are hoping to get a grown-up woman volunteer back in there doing work for nothing - ie you! - because they're making a fuss about your dd. They do sound cheapskate. Sorry it's so unpleasant for you.

Does she get free lessons in exchange for the work? If so then I can see their point but if not then its pretty outrageous.

My DSs hang out all day at the stables during the holidays, in theory mucking out, grooming etc. They are 7 and 9. Most of the time when I go to collect them they are playing hide and seek or generally just messing about climbing on tractors and making dens with hay bales.

Hi Ralgex - good point! However I'm now unable to help as much as I was as I'm back studying plus working full time.

Hi Matrigals & atticusclaw - no, there's no free rides. It's completely voluntary and selfless on my daughter's part.

x

maybe OP could find a pony club branch as an alternative?

I would question what protocol is in place here.

Have they completed any risk assessments? Any guidance of what tasks she should and should not be doing? Set breaktimes? Voluntary work seems to get overlooked when it comes to these things but it's so important for both parties that these things are established prior to any work being undertaken.

www.volunteernow.co.uk/fs/doc/publications/children-and-volunteering-checklist-nl.pdf

This is interesting.

It would also seem like all members of staff would have to get training in Child Protection.

They need to be covered on insurance.. etc etc

Is it as simple as the fact that the stables thought that they were getting both of you (given you were both there in the early weeks), so you could supervise your dd, and now it's only your dd on her own, which perhaps they didn't bargain for?

Atticus: My DSs hang out all day at the stables during the holidays, in theory mucking out, grooming etc. They are 7 and 9. Most of the time when I go to collect them they are playing hide and seek or generally just messing about climbing on tractors and making dens with hay bales.

I know, I'm wondering whether to reassess. They're badged as "own a pony" days but the kids all run riot.

:)