10yo daughter helps out voluntarily at stables and is being accused of not working hard enough

[Shellybash]

My daughter took up horse riding 7 months ago and absolutely loves it. Her and her trainer get on so well together and really share a special bond.

Since the summer, she and I have been helping out in the yard, mucking out, tacking up, all the usual stuff. She's a very petite age 10 (still wears 6 - 7 yrs clothes) so she's not exactly strong but really does her best.

In the last few weeks she has been going to the stables on her own to help out, however, in the last 3 weeks, I have had messages from the trainer advising that my daughter is causing issues.

A new yard manager appears to be advising the trainer that my daughter is not listening, is deliberately ignoring instructions, and is being lazy and is taking breaks when there's work to be done. My daughter typically spends between 4 and 8hrs there at any given time.

This seems so unlike the little girl who helped me at the summer. I didn't expect too much from her, and I know she loves to cuddle the ponies, but I was surprised and really pleased to see her tack up, un-tack, groom and carry saddles to and from the tack room! She struggles with the weight from even the tiniest saddle but she pushes through it! :)

This work is completely voluntary and my daughter gets no treat for doing it either from us, her parents, or the riding school. She simply just loves being there.

My first reaction is one of pure and utter RAGE as I know the stables are desperate for any help they can get, so to single out my daughter in this way seems very harsh in my opinion. If she sweeps up even a little, then she has done more than anyone who didn't show up to help that day..

If anyone has any advice or tips to help me calm down before I chat with the trainer I would very much appreciate it.

Thanks all x

x posted with loads lol

Hi SunnyBaudelaire. I understand even if I don't agree.

If my daughter wasn't there yesterday, the yard manager would have had to tack and untack several ponies, rug and de-rug them then skip out multiple stables and paddocks plus poo pick in the school during the lessons.

I think that's plenty enough for a 10 year old who's working within the timelines of the lessons.

Why on earth should she then be challenged as to why she's eating a sandwich after 3 hours there when apparently "there was work to be done"!????

x

Read between the lines OP. It would seem that maybe your DD is more of a hindrance than a help.

yes I am afraid you do get some real....er.....how can I say....'characters' working with horses...and she is only 10!

hang on , did you say 'poo pick the school during the lessons'?
sounds like H and S is really not a priority at this place!
Is there nowhere else she could help out?
Horsey people are just ....silly sometimes.
My own daughter was helping out a woman with her horses who was completely bonkers.......less said about that the better.

Got a meeting with the owner tomorrow. Will advise how it goes.

But, I'm feeling calmer now, thanks to much of the contribution on here.

Appreciate it, thank you
x

Some horsy role are much better with horses than people!!
Having said that I have a 10 year old and I .think that 4-8 hours at the stables is far too much for everyone concerned.

Are you in the UK because most decent riding schools ( registered ones) would not have helpers under 12 on the yard . I agree with other posters who have said that your dd is probably more of a liability than a help .

Poo pick during lessons??? That's dangerous.

Give them permission to dock her pay but say of course you will be expecting the rest of her paycheck intact by x date.
The reason you are expecting a paycheck is because of the standards he is imposing on a volunteer meaning that her work deserves to be reimbursed.

He would have to back off after that.

Childish and silly I know but it gets my back up- we don't appreciate volunteers enough!

thank you sunny for your comment .... different situations call for different requirements. eg I never wear a hat around mine unless riding but I w.ould do in other settings / situations.

Its hard Shelley to be calm when someone criticises ones DC's ... been there got the tshirt lol... especially when DD being so helpful, I would be glad to have such a hard working young lady around.

I think poo pick during lessons just means running in with the shovel and picking up any poo done before it gets kicked all over the place, we do that.

Hi Hoppinggreen - think I agree about the amount
Hi Floralnomad - yes I'm in the UK and now starting looking at permittable hours and am pretty sure the wee one not covered by insurance - thank you for pointing me in this direction - this is obviously a MAJOR concern.
Vlourvoyageur and tazzle22 - thanks so much for your support - it's helped a lot.

x

Hi NeedABumChangeNotANameChange - it's exactly that...

:D
x

asking a ten year old to run into the school with a shovel and pick up poo while horses are moving around the sschool is dangerous and no proper riding school with standards would expect it

Sorry OP but I've spent my life on yards and completely understand the yard managers point of view. Helped out since i was 7 and started getting paid at 11.

They don't really need someone spending 6 hours doing a half hours work and cuddling ponies all day. Your daughter is 10 not 6 so i don't really understand half the points on this thread. Anyone on a yard should be pulling their weight, most children don't get paid but gain a lifetime of knowledge. She may well just be getting in the way.

Some parents seem to see the yard as free childcare for the day- not saying you do but this may have happened in new managers last yard a lot.

Also just because she is volunteering it doesn't mean she shouldn't work just as hard. Those volunteering in charity shops can't just do the bits they fancy and take breaks whenever.

Hi NeedABumChange - hopefully if you read through the posts you'll see the evidence of her doing more than I think she should be...

Thx for your comment.

Stables tend to be hard old places but the payoff is to be part of a horsey family. I remember sleeping over curled up with a load of alsations at age 11 and being booted out at 6am to feed. All unpaid, in fact i was paying livery. Terribly against H&S now though i suppose!

Thing is it's seen as a privilege to be working for free to get to hang round the stables with the faint possibility of getting to the stage you are chosen to help back ponies or lead a ride never happened. It defies all logic and tbh if you aren't up for that then you are seen as in the way.

Well sunny have to say I've been on Olympic yards that do that. Over in Ireland and all.
I expect they are ponies plodding along rather than semi-broken youngsters. besides going into a stable alone would be far more dangerous.

well guess what I have worked on 'Olympic' yards too, over in Germany and all.
I still think that it would be dangerous, plods or not.

besides the same standards should be upheld regardless of the calibre of the horses

I've had horses and ponies for 35 years and there is no way I would want a 10 year old that didn't belong to me 'helping' , and TBH I would be very unhappy if a yard I was using was letting children help ,but I've never kept mine at a riding school .

She's tacked/ rugged up, skipped and poo picked. Thats pretty basic stuff id expect everyone on the yard to get on with. Unless you are telling me she's tacking 10 ponies every hour.

I think if she wants to be part of the horsey world she has to work hard or you have to pay for her to go to exclusive yards where she doesn't have to do anything.

you are welcome.... looking forward to update tomorrow.

just noticed there are new adding pic options so here is a gratuitious pic of one of my DGC when tots on my welshie ... just to see if it works lol

awwwwww cute alert!
and the baby is quite lovely too!