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Preteens

Parenting a preteen can be a minefield. Find support here.

My dd's 10 yr old friend has deliberately pissed on her laptop in her bedroom

64 replies

anothernamechange111 · 12/02/2014 21:35

Out of jealousy or something..god knows.Its a boy.He has pee'd in it on monday while she was downstairs.It was on her beanbag and that got pee'd over too.Am bloody furious but dont know what i could/should do about it!!!

OP posts:
VoyageDeVerity · 12/02/2014 23:09

Don't let this it in the house again and discourage the friendship pronto.

LynetteScavo · 12/02/2014 23:09

Anyone can register on FB if they lie about their age.

Facebook does take into consternation some of their users are minors. If people have lied about their age, when FB thinks they are 18, they will actually still be 15, but FB won't know that....

5OBalesofHay · 12/02/2014 23:10

No, absolutely don't allow him to be alone with dd if she's so young, it is worrying behavior and whilst you would be right to be concerned about his circumstances, your dd is your main concern

Martorana · 12/02/2014 23:11

Too late now, but i think I would have let your dd believe it was the cat.

Could you somehow suddenly discover that it did smell like cat pee after all? I think dealing with another child doing something like this is a bit much for a 10 year old.

Then, next time he comes round I would ask him, out of your dd's earshot, if he knows anything about the laptop being broken and see what he says..

perplexedpirate · 12/02/2014 23:50

I think Martorana has it.
Judge your next move from his reaction, but I definitely wouldn't rule out notifying social services.
And don't leave him alone with your DD again.
Bad sitch for all concerned. Sad

ThingsThatGoBumpInTheNight · 13/02/2014 00:07

If you'd have said 12 year old I'd have known exactly who you were on about and exactly same background story..
phew this lad I know .. Peed on a doll and in shoes belonging to his sister when he was ten, like a bloody tomcat FFs.

I don't know if I'd raise it with them (parents) but I'd definitely keep dd away from him as SS when he did the same thing at the same age said he hadn't tried to wee, he'd tried to - and I quote - wank off and come all over the doll to teach SD a 'lesson' for being mean to him earlier that day.

Very worrying behaviour from a boy of that age, and fwiw he ended up later on abusing my DS and grooming him for far worse than when I caught it.

I'd cut all contact but you might choose to try to help him. Get a meeting arranged with the child protection officer at school, see what they think and if it's worth escalating.
You might find its a piece of a puzzle the school are building up, and it might make them contact social services.

frugalfuzzpig · 13/02/2014 07:50

I definitely agree about telling the school. Not in a 'you need to bring this up with him' way, but partly so they can understand any tension/arguments between them, and partly (mostly) so they can build up a picture of the inappropriate/worrying behaviour happening outside school :( let them know you are worried about him. Though it may help to tell the school you don't want it getting back to the family that you've told them.

I'd also have a frank discussion with DD. Does she actually want to keep seeing him outside school? It may be that she feels obliged to.

(As an afterthought, if she is still happy for him to visit - and I totally agree it must ONLY be in family rooms from now on - he could maybe bring his iPad so he can actually use it on your wifi? That might help the jealousy issue)

frugalfuzzpig · 13/02/2014 07:51

Thingsthat - god that's horrific :( how awful for you all.

Seeline · 13/02/2014 08:04

I'm a bit confused. You say this happened Monday afternoon. And then say the laptop wasn't used again until Wednesday afternoon, when it and the beanbag were soaking wet. Surely things would have dried out by then? And your DDs room would have smelt of wee on Monday evening (thinking of when DCs have wet the bed) but you didn't notice this?

Morgause · 13/02/2014 08:07

I know you feel sorry for him but I really think it's time to discourage this friendship, particularly if your daughter has gone off him anyway.

She has to be your priority and who knows what he'll do next?

Journeytolight · 15/02/2014 08:38

You could say that your DD saw him. I would definitely talk to the boy's parents. They need to pay up for the repairs!!!

CharlesRyder · 15/02/2014 08:54

The OP can't lie to get the repairs paid for Journey!!!

Martorana · 15/02/2014 09:54

I think it was the cat.

ForTheLoveOfSocks · 15/02/2014 09:58

I personally wouldn't want to encourage my Dd to have a friendship with someone who could treat her like that, troubled or not. What sort of message does it give her? I would not want her thinking it's acceptable to allow yourself to be treated in such a disgusting way.

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