Kids party gifts for a 4 way joint party?

[cantthinkofaname2021]

Hello,
so my daughter has been invited to a party at preschool & it’s a joint party between 4 children (all turning 4) I usually spend about £10-15 on a present for a party, but what would be expected here, what gifts would you buy/spend abit less? It’s for 3 boys and 1 girl x

I would spend the same as I usually do for each child, it’s still their birthday regardless of joint party status.

I’d definitely spend a lot less per child! The parents are getting away with only spending 1/4 the amount on hosting so can’t be expecting huge presents from everyone!! Otherwise you’ll be spending £40-60 to attend which is madness. Even when it’s joint between 2 kids I tend to spend less per child (and it still ends up costing more than 1 present normally does). In your case I’d probably spend no more than £5-6 per child.

Yeah either you’re invited by one child so you buy a normal size present just for that child, or you’re invited by all 4 in which case you buy each a present for roughly a quarter of your usual present budget.

Yeah I agree. A joint birthday I may spend roughly what I would have for one but 4 ways is taking the mic. If I am getting a gift at £10/£15 for a child I expect my child to be getting an afternoon of fun and entertainment out of it I’m not forking out £40/£60 on gifts for one party. Token gifts each

I didn’t realise children’s birthday parties were so transactional! If you know all four, get a gift for all four. I’d happily buy four gifts if it meant I only had to go to one party instead of four, sounds like a win-win to me!

When my child was invited to a similar party, the hosts asked guests to bring one gender neutral gift and I’m guessing they were shared out at the end between the five hosts. It’s a shame they didn’t do this. Nobody wants 30 cheap token gifts. Or maybe they do?

I'd spend about ten on each.
Too much?
Consider pooling money with another guest and buying four presents between you - each from both guests.
Also consider cash as a perfect gift in this situation.

If my child had been invited by all four birthday children I would spend the bottom end of my budget, or slightly less, on each child - so in your case I’d probably spend £8-£10 each.
I would have bought all four children a present if they’d had separate parties, and it is still their birthday after all. I don’t see the gift as ‘payment’ for the party.

If they were invited by one child only I would give a normal £10-£15 gift to that child and a token gift like a bag of sweets (up to £5 each) to the others.

£5 in a card for each kid.
The parents won’t actually want 15+ gifts for each child.

We've done class parties for my kids because they enjoy celebrating with their friends and we can afford to do it, I’m genuinely not fussed if people don’t bring a gift. Just RSVP to the invite, turn up and bring a card is all I’d like.

I’d spend the same amount I would normally on each child. If they were all having separate parties spread out over the month then I’m guessing you wouldn’t think twice about it but the added bonus here is that you get 3 weekends back - yay! Go closer to the bottom end of your range so ~£10 not £15 if things are a bit tight but it would be really odd IMO to think of the gift as a ‘payment’ for the party and 1 party only deserves the amount you’d typically spend on 1 gift. The only exception I think would be is if you’ve clearly only been invited by 1 DC and don’t really know the others but doesn’t sound like that’s the case here.

Quite honestly I have declined a triple shared party for my DD as I didn’t want to spend £30-£40 to attend and couldn’t find a reasonable gift in the <£10 range. 😬

I’d go to The Works and buy a nice note pad and some matching pens or one of those popper things were you push the things down. You can easily go in there and get a nice looking present for £6 or £7.

I wouldn’t spend what you normally do. These parents are splitting the cost of the party by 4.

This is what I would do.

I would spend less per child. I aim for around £6 per child at that age.

For girls, I will go to a Home Bargains type shop and buy bath bomb, colourful bath foam, fluffy sleep mask and/or a little bracelet or necklace from there. I can normally get all of that for £6.

I haven’t got a clue what boys like, so I normally panic and buy them Lego, which costs me around £9. Or I get them a Pokémon/Sonic style stationery set which comes with a pencil case, rubbers, pens etc which you can get for around £4/5.

But I definitely wouldn’t spent 10-15 unless they’re close friends.

I see it differently. Four parties would be 4 days where I didn’t need to plan or pay for any entertainment for my kid as she would have a fun activity with her friends. One party is only one day of her having fun, and I don’t have a spare £60 to spend on kids I don’t know when my daughter only has 1 day of entertainment.

let’s be honest, the parents have done a 4 way split to split the cost, so it’s fine that guests reduce their spend accordingly.

transactional? I guess so. Realistic? Yes.

I think I agree here! So I don’t see it entirely as transactional, I also don’t really see it as a chore to to attend the parties & quite enjoy attending and of course it’s also fun for my daughter to go & play with her friends! So I’m not saying I’ll spend 1/4 of what I usually do per child I was thinking maybe a £8-10ish Lego set, choc Lollie & card each so a slightly smaller gift each and usual choc lolly/card that I give each :)
she was invited by all 4 from preschool not just by 1 child
and myself for her party we are doing a joint one with another girl in June

idea of a joint party is so strange, assuming they’re not quadruplets?
id be tempted to do a joint gift in response,

When we organised a joint party, each invitation suggested the child to buy a present for, so DD got 10 nice gifts rather than 20 cheap ones. It doesn't help you now, but might if you ever want to organise something similar!

Don't do this they don't live together but I think a fiver in a card each is fine.

This

I guess maybe the parents aren't like me (or maybe just haven't thought it through) but I'd have tried to do something to limit the number of presents if my child was one of the birthday children. We had a big party last year and there were just way too many presents, DS would have been overwhelmed, and we ended up massively spacing them out and not even giving him some of them. This year we invited fewer children and it was so much better. If I was having a big joint party I'd be delighted if he just got a sticker book or similar - what you want is something that the kids will like but which will get used up and not hang around your house forever.

We've been to a few joint parties and I always just spend the usual budget, about £10, mainly as it's hard to find decent stuff for less (though I've sometimes done quite well on Amazon deals for items with RRP £25+). It does add up to a lot but I just accept it as the cost of the early primary years, the parties get much smaller after a few years.

I don't see parties as a chore at all, my dcs love going to them and the activity/entertainment is usually very good, and I'm always happy to see them having fun.

I do whole class parties for my dds and they get a ton of gifts but they always get excited opening them, though they don't always get around to playing with them. But it's the accepted norm to give a gift (nobody has ever given cash in a card) and I'd be seen as odd if we requested no gifts. I'd never keep any presents back from them really, it's been gifted to them so it's theirs.

Just go to BM and spend £5 on each child.

This, I have no idea why anyone would do any different. Just spend what you would normally do. Also as far as combining it, that seems like a great idea, 3 less parties to go to and probably all the same kids going anyway. Wish more parents were smart like this

Why is it strange? Seems like a brilliant idea to me