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Original poster

forced to buy end of term presents

37 replies

loubes28 · 04/07/2007 05:54

I am effectively being forced to contribute to a computer for the pre-school by a bossy mum using emotional blackmail against me.What do I do?

OP posts:
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PrettyCandles · 04/07/2007 06:32

Why don't you want to contribute?

hippmummy · 04/07/2007 06:42

Is that an end of term present? Sounds like something the pre-school needs.
Why are you unwilling?

pyjamaqueen · 04/07/2007 06:45

A computer sounds expensive! How much does she want you to give?

XcupcakemummyX · 04/07/2007 21:03

can t someone donate one

Hulababy · 04/07/2007 21:04

Sounds expensive!

coppertop · 04/07/2007 21:05

That sounds like a lot for an end-of-term gift.

Twiglett · 04/07/2007 21:08

fiver max and only if you really really like the teacher

laneydaye · 04/07/2007 21:13

If the child wants to get the teacher something then i think thats ok, but... Being forced? no way..
Does anyone elses lo's come out of school with sweets (Argh) and chocolate from some other child thats been on holiday? What the hell is that all about???

hippmummy · 04/07/2007 21:15

Is this a present for the teacher then? I thought from your OP you meant it was a computer for the pre-school.

I would just contribute the amount that you would normally spend on a teachers present. Maybe £5.

If you wouldn't normally give a gift then don't contribute.

XcupcakemummyX · 04/07/2007 21:18

is the computer for the staff or the children surely a painting set would be more appropriate

tissy · 04/07/2007 21:27

you don't elaborate on the emotional blackmail, but would smile (hard) and say " I already have our end of term fixed, sorry!"

Then give teacher a hand-made card and a mug/ box of chocs/ bottle of wine/ whatever you would usually buy

tissy · 04/07/2007 21:28

"end of term present fixed"

Original poster
loubes28 · 06/07/2007 20:28

The blackmailis this-your kid doesn't get included on the picture to be made into a mouse mat if you have not contributed.The photo is being taken on sports day.How do you exclude kids from a photo?
I don't want to contribute because a)I haven't been included in the decision making or asked verbally and b)I object to the use of emotional blackmail.
I shall be making a gift of my own.
The mother is also selling the mouse mats!!!

OP posts:
XcupcakemummyX · 06/07/2007 21:17

she seems a real hard case
have your camera at the ready on the day and simply take some pictures for your child to look at and remember her friends by

Original poster
loubes28 · 06/07/2007 23:07

Thanks for a good idea,Cupcakemum:a camera will be very useful.
By the way how many pre-schools have computers for the kids to use?My view is they are better off with sand and water.

OP posts:
elasticbandstand · 06/07/2007 23:12

cant you just forget to give..?

elasticbandstand · 06/07/2007 23:13

excluded from photo sounds really realy crappy

Original poster
loubes28 · 06/07/2007 23:31

anyone know about the legality of non-voluntary contributions?

OP posts:
Original poster
loubes28 · 06/07/2007 23:34

I have completely ignored the woman as if I hadn't received a letter.If asked I'll say I've already got booktokens.It's Sportsday that worries me-really sportsday for 2 to 3 year old?It's ridiculous

OP posts:
TheDuchessOfNorks · 06/07/2007 23:35

Ofsted likes to see computers in pre-schools so the children can learn very basic skills like how to click the mouse and move the cursor about. They don't expect ALL pre-schools to buy them though - we were donated a 2nd hand iMac which is perfect because of the one button mouse.

Your fundraising woman sounds appalling. Pre-schools are a community service and shouldn't 'exclude' anyone on a financial basis.

Is she hoping that the very public taking-of-the-photograph will shame those that didn't contribute? If so I'd be very tempted to cuddle my child whilst the photo is being taken, and saying loudly 'I'm sorry I can't afford for you to be in the school photograph Little Loubes28'.

maisym · 06/07/2007 23:37

wouldn't want to contribute to this!! - wonder how many people are going to stare at the mouse mat and actually know it's photos of those who were bullied into contributing!

cat64 · 07/07/2007 00:06

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

hatwoman · 07/07/2007 00:11

the woman organising this sounds hideous. tactless, thoughtless, bossy, domineering. not very helpful of me, I know - but just wanted to empathise.

XcupcakemummyX · 07/07/2007 07:25

giving is giving demanding is something different
why dont you offer to help the teachers on the sports day

XcupcakemummyX · 07/07/2007 07:25

opps is she a teacher too