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Preschool education

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Original poster

Pre-school teacher says my DD is 'racist'

39 replies

L1Z · 06/02/2007 10:26

I am so angry! My dd is just turning 3, and is mixed race - I'm white, DH is asian.
Lately she has been making comments about me having white skin, and Daddy having brown skin. I really didn't think anything of it - she compares eye and hair colour also as toddlers do.
Anyway, she said something in pre-school and the teacher took me to one side and told me that she'd told dd off for saying a baby in a book had brown skin and told dd it wasn't nice. She also said "children of this age don't notice skin colour", making out like I'd taught her to notice people have different skin colour or something.
I told her that it's probably more noticable to dd, with her having parents of different colour and that I disagree that at this age that she should be reprimanded for it, after all she wouldn't be told off for saying "X has blonde hair". To me it's no different.
I'm sure she'll have her own racism issues to deal with one day, being mixed-race in an almost exclusively white area, but am I wrong in thinking that she's too young at the moment to start making a big deal out of it (or even to try to explain the concept of racism)? I just don't know???

OP posts:
Lizzylou · 06/02/2007 10:29

YOu're right to be angry, the pre-school teacher's behavious is very strange imo

My DS1 is almost 3 and he notices eye colour/hair colour etc

Aloha · 06/02/2007 10:30

oooooh! I'm so

This is AWFUL. Of COURSE it isn't racist. Of COURSE they notice. They aren't bloody blind. I would be FURIOUS What a stupid, horrible woman. I'd complain like anything. How DARE she accuse your daughter - your mixed race daughter of racism.
Actually SHE is clearly racist if she thinks saying someone has brown skin is a bad thing to say. I am gibbering here!

Bloody hell, I remember my ds at a similar age pointing out the father of a little mixed race girl at his nursery because he was 'all pink!'.

mrsvern · 06/02/2007 10:31

How on earth is that racist? She was stating a fact - that baby in the book had brown skin.

I worry about people teaching our children I really do

McDreamy · 06/02/2007 10:31

That is outrageous - your DD pointed out a fact nothing else. My DD is nearly 4 and for a while has commented on the colour of peoples skin but again in a factual way. I would be very cross to hear that from her Pre School teacher.

Aloha · 06/02/2007 10:31

Talk to the nursery manager ASAP and in strong terms. Point out that Ofsted insist on having appropriate toys and books for children of different races, like black dolls and books with black/Asian children in them. Why on earth does she think that is done if children 'don't notice' Aaargh!

oliveoil · 06/02/2007 10:33

dd1 had a girl who was mixed race at her playgroup and she had frizzy wiry hair

so of course when we got a brown skinned Barbie/Bratz thing with frizzy hair, she was named XXXX after her friend

the woman is barking, doolally

StrawberrySnowflakes · 06/02/2007 10:35

!!!..what is the world coming to when a mixed race LO..at not even 3 years old, says someone else skin is BROWN FGS!!!!!!!
its an obsevation, like when dd said to me, mummy you have a fat belly!...yes i do!, same as to your dd noticed that this child had brown skin!, maybe comparing hers to herself.Awful, truely awful and teacher dealt with it all wrong!

i had a child come to us about being minded in summer, she is african, very dark skinned(im prob not allowed to say that these days!), when they left i asked dd(3yr) if she liked her and if she wanted her to come to us, then i asked her what she liked about her, seing what she woud say..she said i liked her yellow top and i liked her hair, it was black and mine is brown, i said yes thats right, then dd said ooh and she had a lovely pretty brown face!...now would that ber racist too???

TheEmeraldCityTourGuide · 06/02/2007 10:35

I would make a formal complaint to the pre-school.
This pre-school worker needs to be set straight , as her behaviour and comments are ridiculous.

funnypeculiar · 06/02/2007 10:36

ridiculous - ds is nearly 3 and notices - in the same way that he notices people with 'orange' hair ... why is it racist to notice??? I'd defn complain/talk about the need to celebrate diversity.

NotQuiteCockney · 06/02/2007 10:38

The pre-school teacher is mad.

That being said, kids are often oblivious, my DS1 is 5 and still (afaik) doesn't really know or care about skin colour or race.

maisym · 06/02/2007 10:39

what's wrong with saying the baby has brown skin???

this teacher needs educating on what racism actually is.

Skribble · 06/02/2007 10:40

, woman is a fool and not got the correct information as to what racism actually is.

To a 3 yr old it is the same as saying oh look at the brown dog! Once they are a bit older fair enough we might discourage them from pointing and commenting in a loud voice, same as you would if they said "Oh look at they fat lady".

racism
?noun 1. a belief or doctrine that inherent differences among the various human races determine cultural or individual achievement, usually involving the idea that one's own race is superior and has the right to rule others.

  1. a policy, system of government, etc., based upon or fostering such a doctrine; discrimination.
  2. hatred or intolerance of another race or other races.

Take in a dictionary and show her what the word racism actually means. She needs educated that Racism is not a toddler noticing the differences in skin colour.

FGS my DD reacted a bit strangely to a very dark skinned little girl at dancing for the first time, was she being racist, NO! she had just never been up close to a dark skinned child before, only on TV. We live in a area that does not have a lot of other ethnicities, (if that is the right word). Of course I discused different colours and how there are many colours of British people and that she was real! and just the same just more colour in her skin. he said OK and skipped off to dance with her.

Greensleeves · 06/02/2007 10:40

I'm almost speechless

This woman is as thick as pig shit and shouldn't be allowed anywhere near children.

I would be spitting bricks about this. You should definitely complain in the most forceful terms.

batters · 06/02/2007 10:41

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

oliveoil · 06/02/2007 10:41

dd1 told a man (very loudly) in M&S that he had a hairy face (man with long beard)

Have you spoken to any of the other parents at the nursery to see if she has said anything to anyone else?

damewashalot · 06/02/2007 10:50

I agree that she was wrong to tell her off (stupid woman)
TBH I think that so much fuss is made by ofsted and others about this sort of thing to try to avoid racism that people get over sensitive and see racism where there is none to see, a 3yr old will simply say what they see, it has no deeper meaning than that.
I also disagree that children of this age don't notice skin colour, they tend not to see it as something worth mentioning as it's not really a big deal to them, but that doesn't mean they don't notice it's only adults that seem unable to just accept people as they are and obviously your dd is more likely to comment.
Seems to me that the teacher may have some issues of her own.

Mumpbump · 06/02/2007 10:57

Amazing! Political correctness is a social concept which is learnt, but I wouldn't have thought at 3! My dsd is terribly anti-gays at the moment (courtesy of Little Britain, I think) and she is 9 so we will be having a chat about what is nice to say and what is not at a suitable moment, but I don't see how a 3 year old is going to understand all the nuances.

I think that this is pc gone overboard and that the teacher acted inappropriately given your dd's age.

Original poster
L1Z · 06/02/2007 10:57

Thanks for the replies! I'm glad to know it's not just me being prickly. I spoke to DH about it last night and he just laughed and said ignore the woman, she's an idiot, but he's so laid back about everything - nothing ever winds him up!

The teacher in question is actually the manager, but I think I'll make a complaint to the board of governors. The ironic thing is that the reason I chose this pre-school was because when I went to look around, a little boy fell over and hurt himself. One of the teachers went over and picked him up and gave him a big cuddle and kissed him better. When she came back over to me I said it was lovely to see her comforting him so warmly, and that I had been under the impression they weren't allowed to do that anymore. She told be that she'd been pulled by ofsted during an inspection for doing the same thing, and she'd told them that no ridiculous rules were going to stop her comforting a child in distress. I thought it was great to see a school that didn't conform to 'PC gone madness'.

Apart from this incident yesterday, I'd never had a bad word to say about the place, but I'll definitely have a word with the other mums and see if they've had similar things said to them.

Thanks again for the replies

OP posts:
uwila · 06/02/2007 11:27

I suggest the school send this teacher on a course to find out what racism actually is. Racism is not noticing that somoen's skin is green or purple. Racism is not liking someone because his skin is green or purple or orange.

This teacher needs to be educated.

SparklyGothKat · 06/02/2007 11:40

My dd2 came out of school yesterday and said that XXXXXX wasn't in school, you know mummy, he has a brown face' She is 5. Is she racist???

Dragonfairy · 06/02/2007 11:43

What an ignorant woman and how unfair for your little DD to be reprimanded for an observation, what a confusing message to give a young child who is still learning about the world. I would be mad (in fact I am!). !

Piffle · 06/02/2007 11:44

overly PC nursery madness

MarsLady · 06/02/2007 11:47

How bloody ridiculous! I remember all the times when my DC noticed colour and they noticed it early because I am black and their father is white. Ooooohhhhhh anyone remember the Krankies? I could crush a grape!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I think it's amazing that they don't realise that black/brown/yellow/red/white children don't mind colour (same with adults) it's the negative attitude and behaviour that is used because of the differences that is racist.

Would you like to put that teacher on to me cos I have a thing or two to teach her? Bloody idiot!

And breathe.......................

Kelly1978 · 06/02/2007 12:31

This makes me so and . It seems to be increasing though, that we aren't allowed to even notice the colour of someone's skin else you are being 'racist'.

Children do notice, and there is nothing wrong in that. My dp is indian, I am white, our dts are mixed race. On a mn meetup, a mnetter's very young little boy was delighted to observe that my baby had a brown face like him! There was absolutely nothing racist about it at all.
We had a really funny encounter before christmas, where there was a sikh guy on a till at a DIY store dressed up as Santa. dd was whispering that there was no way he could be the real santa, as he had a brown face. Santa then told her all about his holiday sunbathing on the beach and totally convinced her he was the real thing, while we were trying really hard not to giggle!

This definately needs addressing, complaining to the board of governers sounds like a good move.

Blandmum · 06/02/2007 12:48

Oh, for goodness sake. Of course children comment on skin tone. they comment on eye colour and hair colour too. It isn't racist to comment on differences. It is racist to have different behaviour to people depending on their skin tone!

That would make the half jamacan student I teach racist for asking why his skin colour is diferent to his sisters. That wasn't racism,but a damn good question to ask a biology teacher!