Pre-school teacher says my DD is 'racist'

[L1Z]

I am so angry! My dd is just turning 3, and is mixed race - I'm white, DH is asian.
Lately she has been making comments about me having white skin, and Daddy having brown skin. I really didn't think anything of it - she compares eye and hair colour also as toddlers do.
Anyway, she said something in pre-school and the teacher took me to one side and told me that she'd told dd off for saying a baby in a book had brown skin and told dd it wasn't nice. She also said "children of this age don't notice skin colour", making out like I'd taught her to notice people have different skin colour or something.
I told her that it's probably more noticable to dd, with her having parents of different colour and that I disagree that at this age that she should be reprimanded for it, after all she wouldn't be told off for saying "X has blonde hair". To me it's no different.
I'm sure she'll have her own racism issues to deal with one day, being mixed-race in an almost exclusively white area, but am I wrong in thinking that she's too young at the moment to start making a big deal out of it (or even to try to explain the concept of racism)? I just don't know???

not so long ago my dd was telling me abouta girl in her class" oh shes my new best friend"..i dont know her what does she look like(trying to picture this tot she was palying with from when we all wait at school door)..well she has brown hair...right, what else.she wears a green cardigan..yes what else..erm...shes pretty and lets me be daphne(from scooby doo!)..no idea who she is.next day as school dd says look theres xxx........she is from pakistan and obviously has dark skin(cant stand 'black' description which is supposed to be the 'correct' word..she wasnt black, she WAS brown), but her name is very english, so from dd's description it hadnt crossed my mind about her culture.
dd hadnt 'noticed' that xxx was any different to her and never even crossed her mind about her colour!

Totally agree that teacher is doolally and needs educating.

I have a different problem in that there is a new boy at ds's nursery and ds tells me he doesn't like the boy because he is "too black" The new boy is very dark skinned, african type looks, and really stands out as there is very little ethnic diversity at this nursery.

We are having a 4th birthday party soon and I was going to issue a blanket invite to all the pre-school kids but I'm so afraid that ds will be mean to this little boy and say something awful about the colour of his skin.

Has anyone any advice ? I have mentioned his comments to the nursery staff but nothing has changed. They do have black skinned dollies to play with etc.

OMFG! How bloody ignorant of her.

So I presume that if your DD was to state that daddy has brown skin she would be pulled up for being racist towards her own Daddy.

Bloody madness

google for books on this kind of thing for children, even most ladybird books have various colours cultures in them, so he will get used to people being different..get a black ken/action man/barbie for him!

I'm [shocked] at the pre school teacher Liz.

I agree with whoever said write a letter to the manager of the pre school.

Sorry I was shocked!!!

knitting -- Go ahead and invite everyone, your DS may just be scared because it's something different and new. The more time he spends with the new boy the better.

heavens she'd have my ds (3) down as a racist sex pest as he and his very cosmopolitan crowd of schoolmates were checking to see if their bums were the same colour as their faces at school yesterday. Because they'd been learning about baboons and their red bottoms. Oh no, I'm being baboonist. I mean some of my best friends are baboons and they're really just like all the other primates... OH NO, now I'm being primatist..aaagh

Utter madness!!
If ethnic diversity questionnaires are allowed to ask if you are white, asian, mixed race or black how can it be racist to REFER to someone as white, asian, mixed race or black unless you do it in a derogatory manner?

how insane!

how very dare she tell your dd off for saying that! i'd have exploded if someone had said that to my dd

good on you for keeping your cool but definitely talk to the board and the other moms as that is simply unacceptable

im utterly lost for words..of course children, even pre school age children notice difference in hair colour, eye colour and skin colour, to make an observation is not racist for heavens sake. when i was chair of the pre school committe we had to make sure that we had a good mix of multi cultural toys and that we taught the children about different cultures for this very reason, because children do notice things. I would complain to whoever is above this woman and quite frankly i feel very alarmed that this is the attitude of a women who is supposedly the manager

Message withdrawn

This seems too rediculous (sp) for words! Surely by telling her off for mentioning brown skin is, if anything, giving the impression that there is a 'problem' with brown skin?!?
She is wrong.