Tutor for four year old before Sept FT school?

[schooladviceplease2015]

The nursery DD attends is not doing well. I have had concerns about it for a while but having not had the nursery experience before had nothing to compare with.

Now Ofsted has been in and echoed my concerns, saying it needs dramatic improvement.

She had started phonics at the beginning of the year but this seems to have gone out the window and now I feel she's behind - and though she'll be four next week has no concept of name writing. I have obviously tried but I'm not a professional.

Is it worth getting a tutor before Sept? Is this ridiculous? I'm hoping despite putting the school as our first option that we can change in the late application process.

I don't want her to be behind come Sept. This is one of the main things that Ofsted picked up on - that children are behind when starting reception and not progressing nearly enough.

I am definitely the type to have a heart attack due to stress.

I am neurotic and hysterical but I do want the best for her, like all parents want for their kids.

Wanting the best for her is only natural, as you say. However, getting a tutor is not the best for her. Having a lovely summer playing games, chatting and reading is.

The time with her before she starts school is so precious, please don't waste it

I won't, thank you.

Important things for starting Reception

• can take off and put on own coat and shoes
• can change for PE with minimal help
• can sit quietly and listen
• can take turns
• can hold a pencil
• can wipe own bottom

It's also helpful if she can recognise her own name written down (as it makes it easier to identify the correct peg, book, drawer etc.) but it's not a huge deal if she can't.

There will be a huge range of "what they can already do" among Reception starters. By and large (allowing for special needs etc.) that evens out pretty quickly. And anecdotally some children who start Reception with "advanced" writing skills go on to struggle with handwriting because they started writing before they had a good pencil grip and were shaky with their letter formation.

OP- I will just add this, and I hope you can take in the spirit in which it is intended. Anxiety and the way we manage stress is a learnt behaviour. One of the best things that you could do for your child is to learn to manage your own stress better. Start some yoga and meditation classes, if that is your thing, go for regular walks, see your GP for a referral to someone. Whatever it takes. You love your daughter, and you want the best for her, that much is obvious & admirable. But your reaction to this situation, comes across as a bit much.

You have admitted this is an issue for you, and it's not healthy for you or your daughter long term. I grew up with two very anxious parents- stress ended up killing my Mum at a young age. As an adult and soon to be mother myself, I have to be very conscious of how I manage my stress. I found CBT helpful, it might work for you, but if you are in UK you can get sessions for free. Your GP will be able to tell you if it suits you or whether there is a better option. Be a role model for your daughter, teach her mastery over her feelings and behaviour. Give her the gift of calm rational thought :) Learn to manage your anxiety- so she doesn't inherit it.

I do have major anxiety issues but sometimes it's hard to see what's anxiety and what reaction is normal.

Thank you.

Are you getting any help with your anxiety school?

I agree with teacher that the best way to teach literacy at this age is to slip it into the fabric of everyday life, spontaneously as the opportunity arises, 30 seconds at a time, exactly as you taught her language, colours, numbers. And always leave her wanting more. That of course is the precise opposite of what a tutor would involve.

I would agree with the PPs that you should relax. However, did your post mean that the nursery had poor phonics teaching or the primary school? If OFSTED says that the primary school has poor phonics teaching then you may need to keep an eye on her progress a bit more carefully during reception and encourage good "pure" phonics habits rather than guessing/memorising. But most children learn to read well even with halfarsed multi-method teaching so there's no need to panic or assume that your highly verbal, well-supported, book-loving DD will be in the minority who can only learn when taught brilliantly.

at no point should you get a (nearly) 4 year old a tutor!

she is a child, and she should not be pressured like this, let her play, bring in some learning PLAY if you really want to, but she doesnt need it - seriously

I work in a nursery attached to a scho and the only things we have to ensure is that they can hold a pencil and know how to safely use scissors.

As a mum to children in reception and nursery I say just leave her to develop her own way. As long as nursery is safe then don't worry about anything else. Even if you taught her to write / phonics etc they start them all off again in Sept. Lots don't do any nursery. It's not needed

Reading this thread has really reassured me. I've just had a parents evening thing at my DD nursery - she's 3 and a half - and they said she doesn't hold a pencil properly and I should be helping her by tracing letters and numbers. They didn't put pressure on me at all or suggest that she was in any way behind, but I've started panicking! So all these posts are really helpful, I'll close my Amazon phonics flash cards website window now

But I will make sure I do more drawing with her and try to encourage a good pencil hold, I think it's important, but I don't want to pressure her.

She only goes to nursery 2 days a week and most at her nursery are full time so I think are at least socially more advanced than her, she is very shy and I think the staff sometimes forget she is one of the younger ones and has a full year left of preschool room before school.

Good luck OP and enjoy your daughter, I'm sure having an interested and motivated mum will mean she progresses really well once she's at school