Tutor for four year old before Sept FT school?

[schooladviceplease2015]

The nursery DD attends is not doing well. I have had concerns about it for a while but having not had the nursery experience before had nothing to compare with.

Now Ofsted has been in and echoed my concerns, saying it needs dramatic improvement.

She had started phonics at the beginning of the year but this seems to have gone out the window and now I feel she's behind - and though she'll be four next week has no concept of name writing. I have obviously tried but I'm not a professional.

Is it worth getting a tutor before Sept? Is this ridiculous? I'm hoping despite putting the school as our first option that we can change in the late application process.

I don't want her to be behind come Sept. This is one of the main things that Ofsted picked up on - that children are behind when starting reception and not progressing nearly enough.

You're obviously a caring and ambitious mother who wants the best for your child (quite rightly so) but sometimes throwing money at a perceived problem doesn't help.
Try putting that generosity and emotional commitment into doing things with her that you know have an educational foundation and will help her towards school, but which also build in her a sense of self worth and confidence in her abilities. Those are what will boost her on the road to success and which her teachers will pick up on straight away. You're the mother, so enjoy it while you can!

We have no money

Thank you.

Surely thats what school is for?

She is THREE YEARS OLD!! tutors, flashcards? what new dimension of pushy mother hell is this?

Thanks for that very helpful comment.

well its possibly one of the more useful one's. Let her be 3 ffs. There is plenty of time for that sort of "learning" when she goes to school.

Is your dd happy at nursery? that is really all that matters.

Yes, she loves it.

I feel I can't win - neglect name writing and I'm crap, be concerned about it and I'm crap/neurotic.

Kids ate sponges they learn what u teach at home - my DD had speech issues and the flash cards helped with sounds - she was reading at y2 level in reception - it wasnt the outcome i expected - i wanted the speech sorted as school only offered 3 sessions 15 mins over a year - they do and want to learn - sow the seeds and they benefit - school is much easier if they are ready and confident.

She's four next week.

With the name thing she obvs is resisting hence leave it ..., dont let it spoil an otherwise engaged child im sure it wont have any long term effect. See what the tutor said - name writing is such a small part of a long day at school.

I've now read your link to the daily mirror article and notice that it was written in 2008
Research has given us different insights into the meaning of school readiness now and a new early years curriculum
I attended a briefing for local early years professionals and the focus is now on making sure children are toilet trained, can actually speak in sentences and can follow instructions and do as they are told without havng emotional meltdowns
Search mumsnet for posts by mrz on pre writing skills, she has made some excellent posts

LEMs comment may not sound useful - but it is true! There's no 'can't win' about it. Take opportunities to learn through play when they arise, but that's it! Let your 3yo be a 3yo!

Mine started with a tutor in year 1. She did that for over a year, but I have stopped as feel the tutors standards went down. It works out expensive, but if I can find another decent one I will pay again

Thanks insancerre.

She does all that well - apart from the emotional meltdown bit...

She doesn't need to write her name or know the alphabet - it fact, it might hold her back a bit if she does as school will teach her letter sounds, not names, and might need to correct her letter formation.

Honestly, it's actually easier for Reception teachers if children arrive not reading or writing but ready to learn.

Plenty of children start Reception not even recognising their name written down and with no interest in drawing or painting and still do fine and are reading and writing 6 months later.

I would concentrate on self-care skills (dressing, toileting, feeding, asking for help), speaking and listening (being able to talk in sentences, being able to sit and look at an adult talking or reading a story), recognising their name - written and spoken - and recognise their own property. Any games you can play involving fine and gross motor skills are also a plus.

Understanding concepts like less and more, big and little etc are more important than being able to count. Being able to listen and distinguish different sounds (e.g. going on a walk and listening out for birds or cars, or playing I-spy "something beginning with sssss") is more important than recognising letters.

Thank you - that's very reassuring.

She's been praised a lot from nursery about her vocab - and that sounds as though it will stand her in good stead in Sept which I'm happy about.

Thank you!

I expect the meltdowns are just at home and not at nursery?
If she is having meltdowns at nursery then this is the area the nursery should be convent raying on with you, to prepare hwrvfor school
Thinking of the children we have at the moment, some still struggle with this aspect of their development, but they are all summer born boys. We do lots of activities talking about feelings and identifying them n stories.

Yes its not about doing it, but understanding - so knowing what half is ... knowing what double means .... the answer is irrelivent.

Yes! Was going to say - emotional meltdowns at home, not at nursery.

They have identified that concentration is an issue as well as general 'mischief'.

However at home concentration is not a problem - and will spend an hour or more playing very happily. Loves reading and will choose a book over say TV time without hesitation.

PLEASE don't get her a tutor! Children of your daughter's age learn through play. Follow her interests, listen and respond- look for teachable moments, that make academic learning relevant. e.g If your daughter loves baking, look at the recipe book together, talk about the pictures & words. "You want to make a chocolate cake? Let's see what page that is on? Oh p33, let's find that together. Let's see if this is the right one C-h-o-c (sound the word out, while pointing to it)" short bursts of relevant knowledge like this, makes learning meaningful. Write the shopping list for the ingredients that you need together, give her a pen and paper, let her watch you write, let her 'write' however she wants. Let her see that writing and counting has meaning & value.

Once at the shops- let her find the things on the list, matching the words on the labels up to your shopping list. Let her count out the items. Short bursts of learning & 'teaching' and only if she is interested.

Once at home, bake- observe, talk about what you are seeing, smelling and doing. A rich vocabulary is a key necessity of becoming literate. Sensory experiences & active learning build language.

There are so many opportunities for learning the skills she needs, every day. You don't need to sit her down with flashcards or a tutor.

A colleague showed me this great video from New Zealand, about what children need to know before they learn the more formal skills www.getreadyforschool.co.nz/ Take the time to watch it. It makes you realise that encouraging active play is the best thing you could be doing, not sitting her down to 'teach her' .

Thank you! Those are lovely tips.

Totally agree - school ready is more to do with social skills. Flash cards etc - maybe, but better to integrate counting and name into everyday life. Count as you go up and down the stairs. You count wrong, she corrects you - lots of play acting and laughs. Count Cheerios - whatever is to hand, make it fun, only when she is in the mood. Her name - when you go past a street sign, make a game of finding the letters in her name. We used to play a game when settling at bed time - I would 'draw' shapes on their backs, get them to guess what it was. Moved on to letters in their names (both my kids have short names!). Bath time - shaving foam on the tiles, draw your letter (first letter of name), shapes, move up to name. In reception they do shaving foam on a tray to trace letters in. Mark making leads to writing. We had wooden letters - recognised them as the first letter of people they loved, their letter. You probably do this already, just trying to help.

At nursery my dd didn't seem to pick up her alphabet or days of the week at all. Now she's been in primary for a bit, shes 2 years ahead on reading.

If you want to get her ready for school, let her dress herself. Make sure she can wipe her own bum and wash her hands properly. She can put on and take off her coat and follow simple instructions, like please sit down.

Honestly, if you are this stressed now you are going to be having a heart attack when it comes to sats.