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Tutor for four year old before Sept FT school?

63 replies

schooladviceplease2015 · 05/04/2015 08:16

The nursery DD attends is not doing well. I have had concerns about it for a while but having not had the nursery experience before had nothing to compare with.

Now Ofsted has been in and echoed my concerns, saying it needs dramatic improvement.

She had started phonics at the beginning of the year but this seems to have gone out the window and now I feel she's behind - and though she'll be four next week has no concept of name writing. I have obviously tried but I'm not a professional.

Is it worth getting a tutor before Sept? Is this ridiculous? I'm hoping despite putting the school as our first option that we can change in the late application process.

I don't want her to be behind come Sept. This is one of the main things that Ofsted picked up on - that children are behind when starting reception and not progressing nearly enough.

OP posts:
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JiltedJohnsJulie · 05/04/2015 09:05

Please don't get her a tutor. My DS is just about to leave primary but when he started he couldn't even hold a pencil, he just had no interest. After a few weeks at school he loved it and is now in the top set for everything.

If you are worried, there are so many other things you can do to give her a good start. Read to her often and try to give her a love of books. Go to the library weekly and let her chose.

Buy some outdoor chalks, let her draw, play noughts and crosses with her, draw patterns and get her to trace them with a paint brush and water. Bake with her, go for walks and talk about the numbers on the houses, the trees and birds you see. Put things like pom-poms in a bowl and ask her to put them in the other bowl with those tongs you use in the kitchen and draw with her. Play with Duplo, teach her to knit, make some play doh with her and play with it. All of these things will help with the skills she needs for writing.

I really can't see the school being appreciative of her been tutored at such a young age. The best thing you can do for her is to let her see learning is fun and do things with her Smile

momtothree · 05/04/2015 09:11

Would agree - dont put her off with a tutor so young - bag of buttins ate great for fine motor skills - being active for gross motor skills - get phonics cards - bingo games online printable to help with that - all games u can play which will help u help her

forago · 05/04/2015 09:12

there is no need to tutor a 4 year old. She will be starting school with some children who are younger and dime that haven't been to nursery or pre school.

WatchOutForGoblins · 05/04/2015 09:15
schooladviceplease2015 · 05/04/2015 09:21

Thank you very much for these suggestions and for reassurance. It's a hysterical reaction I think - but I'm none the less worried about it!

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schooladviceplease2015 · 05/04/2015 09:21

Love the outdoor chalk idea - she'll love that!

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susannahmoodie · 05/04/2015 09:24

When ofsted say kids are behind when staring school,don't they're mean things like being able to hold a book the right way round??

Starlightbright1 · 05/04/2015 09:25

Another please don't if you really want to do something...Get a jolly phonics, CD ,DVD.... For fine motor skills to help writting, Playdoh, painting, messy play.

Read her books to her.

Been school ready is about been able to sit ,listen, take turns. School is where they read and write. Reception is all about learning through play. My DS was too young when he started school to begin writing. He wasn't ready physically. He is now year 3 but he has periods where he has refused to write, his self belief in his writing is very low despite it having improved. He was still assessed as below average at the end of year 2. I strongly believe he would of done better if he started formal writing a year later

CaptainFabulous · 05/04/2015 09:27

Your child is three and can't write their name? That will be because they are THREE!!!

A tutor, FFS. Just relax, they go to school to learn these things, they're not expected to do it all before they get there.

momtothree · 05/04/2015 09:30

Being able to sit and listen is key - take her to story time at library - fun games talk about 1 more 1 less - use maths language add subtract take away - count in 2 and 5 and halves sing sings clapping games - take turns and share - follow instructions -

schooladviceplease2015 · 05/04/2015 09:32

She's four next week.

Just to clarify - I of course do messy okay, read, Play Doh, count etc etc with her.

We've got a Read Write Inc phonics cards.

I appreciate suggestions but was genuinely concerned she wouldn't be up to speed come Sept, given the report and refusal to write her name.

I obviously don't push her into it though.

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Seriouslyffs · 05/04/2015 09:35

Don't get a tutor. 'Ready for school' means recognising her name (spoken not written), turn take, sit quietly for short periods, use cutlery and turn the pages of a book etc.

schooladviceplease2015 · 05/04/2015 09:36

Momtothree - she wouldn't understand counting in twos or fives at mo...she sometimes gets numbers mixed up counting to twenty.

We do number practice together but she gets bored and frustrated and then I don't like to push the issue.

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Seriouslyffs · 05/04/2015 09:36

Put the flash cards away or let her have access to them in a toy box and only go through them if she brings them to you and asks.

LIZS · 05/04/2015 09:37

I think you are reading way too much in to a few Ofsted comments. Having them start "behind" is often seen as a reflection of the culture and economic deprivation of the area and then what the school does is "value added", but in preschool that time can be limited. It may also depend on how many had attended a setting outside the family prior to starting, whether they start as a cohort in September or join during the year, any language and communication issues, how well activities are defined and differentiated , support for learning at home etc. It does not mean your particular child will be "behind" come September especially if you spend time doing age appropriate play and chatting.

schooladviceplease2015 · 05/04/2015 09:38

Thank you seriously.

I'd read something the other day about '50 things' DCs should be doing by the time they start school.

  • Writing name
  • Alphabet

Etc etc.

I will link when I get chance. That's worried me too.

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Mumoftwoyoungkids · 05/04/2015 09:40

My dd started school in September. The things that the school wanted to know whether she could do before she started were things like put her own shoes on, take herself to the toilet, put her own coat on, sit still and listen to a story, understand turn taking, hold and turn a book correctly, get changed after PE herself and hold a pencil correctly (there are some brilliant online guides for encouraging correct pencil grip - be warned though - I discovered I'd been doing it wrong since 1983!).

The only "academic" ones were counting to 10, recognise her own name, draw a picture of herself and have a go at writing her own name.

They were very very clear at the "intro day" that being able to do their own personal care and join in as part of the class was far more important for their success at school than being able to recognise a single phonic.

schooladviceplease2015 · 05/04/2015 09:42

Thank you mum to two young kids - that's exactly what I needed to hear!

Here is the piece that struck feat in my heart: www.mirror.co.uk/news/uk-news/22-things-your-child-should-354782

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meditrina · 05/04/2015 09:44

There is no need to be a particular level in anything lesson-y for Reception.

What does help is -

a) fully independen toileting including wiping/hand washing
b) fully independent nose-blowing, including disposing of used tissue
c) able to put on own sunscreen
d) able to carry loaded tray and use knife and fork
e) able to recognise own name/name tape
f) able to hang up coat, and put hat/gloves where they will be found again
g) able to change into and out of PE kit, leaving whichever clothes not being worn in one heap
h) able to follow two part instructions
i) able to sit and listen for several minutes (story time/joining in group activities)
j) able to wait for a turn

Namelesswonder · 05/04/2015 09:46

Seriously, Stop worrying! If your DD goes to school able to share, take turns, obey instructions, pay attention and sit still then she is ahead of many others! She will be taught phonics, reading and writing at school! My 7 year old has only just got the hand of counting in fives! You are way over thinking this, just relax!

insancerre · 05/04/2015 09:47

Early years teacher here
Please don't get her a tutor. She really doesn't need it
Find the Early Years Foundation Stage online and look at the statements for her age group in all seven areas. That's what she should be able to do.
Don't judge her against the early learning goals as thats what they will be learning at school
We are preparing our children for school. We are concentrating on putting on coats and shoes, getting changed for pe, being independent at going to the toilet, sitting and listening to stories and joining in with songs and rhymes. We also do phonics, jolly learning is a hood site to gwtvthe letter sounds correct.
The danger with pushing children too early is that they reach their peal too early and get bored and start to disengage with education
It should be fun and children should develop a love of learning because it satisfies their inner curiosity and makes them want to learn more

schooladviceplease2015 · 05/04/2015 09:47

Thank you - she does most of that.

Although we'll have to work on the 'big heap'.

I have re-read my OP and I do sound ludicrous - but I was/am genuinely worried and have made myself a big of a pain on these boards in the last week or so.

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WineCowboy · 05/04/2015 09:48

this is more what they were meaning I think OP.
As above, children are starting school with no idea how to communicate effectively which causes lots of social as well as learning problems.

It sounds like you are doing a grand job. As posters above have said, looking after their own hygiene, listening, being able to share etc are the more important things to focus on.

Starlightbright1 · 05/04/2015 09:50

She won't start behind. the children who start behind are the kids who have no access to books, don't get to play, have little social interaction.

I can completely understand your anxiety about not wanting to start school... Are you happy with pre school prior to Ofsted. if she doesn't want to write her name don't make her.

Seriouslyffs · 05/04/2015 09:50

At least the first 4 linked suggestions there are rubbish.
Some children are not ready for school; it means not being potty trained, not being able to sit comfortably up at table, not using a cup or drink anything but squashtake their shoes on and off and do up buttons and zips, share and follow simple instructions.
Many children start school and thrive with a few problems from the above list but if they struggled with several of the above that would be a concern.

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