2yr old excluded from nativity play

[scoobysnac]

My ds1 will be 3 in January. He's currently at a nursery which he started in September. I have just been informed by his head teacher that he is not allowed to take part in the nativity play as he has a short concentration span!! She did however say he could come and watch. Apparently there are about 5 children who won't be in it as they are 'not ready'.

I think this is absolutely disgraceful and had I known this I would not have sent him there. I just think it's so cruel to exclude children at such a young age and not think that there will be any psychological ramifications. Maybe I am reading too much into it but surely the whole fun of a nativity is the young children staring around and waving at their parent and not singing when they are supposed to. He's only 2 for goodness sake.

I am thinking if making a compliant be would greatly appreciate others views.

I wouldn't bother complaining. The HT is probably right in saying he wouldn't be able to handle it, she will have seen him in similar situations with the other children.

Children mature at different levels and she feels (in her professional judgement) that he isn't ready. There will be other chances.

I take it your a teacher?

Professional judgement aside surely a nativity play is about all the children feeling including and having fun not being singled out. All 2 year olds have attention issues.

It's a nursery nativity not a performance at the Albert hall,

DD1 was only put in the non singing "crowd" for the xmas carol singing at nursery when she was 2.

They were right, she freaked out in Jingle Bells and hurled herself through the audience to get to me sobbing.

I'm not sure she would have noticed if she hadn't been included, DD2 wouldn't and she's 2 and a half. Bit of a shame they couldn't have him stood in a corner holding a tree or something I agree, but at his age it'll be very easy for you to pass it over with him.

Just don't let him know you think it's a big deal or he will be bothered.

Complete overreaction IMO. As you say, it's only a nursery and there are several other children not taking part so why get so hot and bothered ? your language is ridiculously hyperbolic - 'absolutely disgraceful' etc...calm down dear.
Oh and it's " I take it YOU'RE a teacher" - not 'your a teacher' .

Seriously, just be relieved you don't have to sit through the tediousness of a preschool nativity play!

You're going to have a lot of disappointments through your DS's school carer if you're going to overreact every time something happens that you don't like.

Claiming 'psychological ramifications' is nothing but drama and totally unsubstantiated.

And there's no need to be so snippy when people are trying to give you advice.

Seriously, calm down!

I really don't see what the issue is. He won;t even remember it when he's older, he's hardly going to be scarred for life by not joining in.

There's plenty of years ahead for that kind of thing, when he's old enough to learn something from it and enjoy it.

Schools really are getting precious about the Nativity, it's not meant to be a Broadway production.

So while they are all practicing these 5 kids just sit and watch?

Honestly, he'll be happier on your knee.

I have a picture of DD2 (who was the youngest at preschool, her first nativity) as a donkey.

She looks utterly, lost and bewildered.

Believe me, DD2 isn't shy and has had been narrator and two types of very bossy fairy since.

It's simply 2 and 10 months was very young when everyone one else is bigger than you.

What psychological ramifications could there be? He is too young/ not ready but will enjoy watching and by next year will be in it.

Nothing to complain about don't make yourself look pub by kicking up a fuss.

Pub not pub

Total hyperbole.

The only physiological ramifications your little boy is likely to have are those placed into his head by you. He's 2. He will get over it - most especially if he doesn't even realise there's something to get over.

Calm down and listen to the professional opinion. It's your pride that's a bit bruised here, not your son's.

Does it matter? Will your not quite 3 year old actually care/even realise? doubtful. He'll be included next year though when he is ready as well as the school plays and things so no need to get all upset by this.

Thank you for all your comments. However I feel some of them were quite unwarranted. Donnie you must be a man!!! I'm typing quickly so no need to be rude about a typo!!!

IMO there is a big difference between:

1. we don't want to include your DC because they will fuck up and ruin our wonderful show

and

2. we don't want to include your DC because we think they will get upset at not being with you and being stared at by lots of strange adults.

you need to find out which it is.

Kemmo thanks for your reply. It's the first point. My son is extremely outgoing and confident and would never get upset being on a stage. He just has a very short attention span

It's only the 3+ part of the pre school here that does the nativity, although there is a separate singing celebration that all children take part in.

When my middle son was 4 & at a Montessori pre school I was told he wouldn't be included in the nativity as it may worry the other parents. DS2 is moderately deaf & had / has a severe speech impairment & at that time dribbled quite a lot. I still can't drive past the place without being all .

Psychological ramifications from not taking part in the nativity play?
Ooohhhhhh kaaaaaay. He'll only have lasting damage from it if you don't build a bridge and get over it.
Seriously, as nice as it would be to see him in the play - the chances are it wouldn't be as you imagine and he may get upset or inadvertently de-rail the performance.
If he was at school I would understand - but he's not even 3!

I leave all threads where the OP says things like "must be a man".

BYE :)

DD is 2.10 and deaf and mostly non-verbal; she's being an angel in her nursery nativity. She tends to "sing" [noises rather than words] loudly without noticing that everyone else has stopped but they are managing that; the idea of excluding her from the performance was never even floated (and it's on a day when she isn't normally at nursery, so they easily could).

I think most of you are missing the point here. Nursery is about learning to work with others. My son is clearly being excluded and for those of you that think children can't be psychologically scarred by these sort of events dream on !!!

I think you should repost on AIBU