trying not to show dd my panic about her starting nursery.

[familyfun]

dd is 3.1 and starts school nursery sept.
she has never been left at any childcare, she happily goes with her grandparents for days out but apart from that she is always with me and dp.
she hates large groups and lots of noise makes her cover her ears.
she lets other children take everything off her.
she wont answer questions like whats your name despite being a good talker at home.
she has told me she is a bit worried about going to nursery.

i have bought her uniform and told her what a big girl she is and how she will make lots of friends and all big 3 year olds go to nursery but secretly i feel like wrapping her in cotton wool and keeping her home with me (forever )

dont know who is more nervous, me or her.

am i the only softy who feels like this?

Do you know I just went through this today with my 3.4 yr old girl and I am still slightly in shock as to how upset I feel, real gut wrenching, blubering upset, like I have lost her. You have to put a brave face on it and it seems like she had an OK time. My concerns were the same, big noisy boys, no one to look out for her etc. My mum was a pre-school teacher for 30 years and said that 99% of children are fine and just play up when the parents leave them and pick them up. She was so tired when she came home and a bit over whelmed but then 4 hours on it excited and proud about going back again! So just try and get through the day and be prepared for a few tears. A couple of paracetamal may help! I feel better from reading your message....

my dd went to pre school when she was 2.5 - i can honestly say i was a total wreck for weeks beforehand, i seriously considered not sending her. on the first day she toddled in and didn't even bother to say good bye - i sat in the car outside crying for 2 hours!
dd was just how you describe your dd, never been left with anyone other than gps, quite shy, didn't like noise - within a week at pre school she was so much more confident - it was really the best thing for her.
Hopefully your dd will enjoy pre school as much as mine did - just try to hold off the tears until you get outside

i will try to be positive and i really hope she loves it, but i keep thinking what if she hates it and cries and clings to me every day

OP,your dd sounds just like mine. She still even sticks to me like glue at toddler groups we've been going to forever. I've decided to put off starting her in nursery until she's 3.5, to give us a bit more time for her (hopefully) to develop her confidence. Would love it if you could post to say how you both get on. I too wish I could keep my dd wrapped up at home with me forever

bump

I am exactly the same my ds starts this Thursday and i'm so nervous for him, I know deep down that he will really enjoy it and gain confidence. But its all gone so quick cant believe my little boy is going to nursery :)

aaagh, wed is our settling session for dd and she asked today if i could go this week and then she can go alone next week and seemed happy when i said yes.
i havetold her she will meet new friends this week then play with them next week, just hope it works out.

Hi familyfun

My DD sounds just like yours- only looked after by us/grandparents, and we had our first nursery session today and she seemed to be ok (touch wood). The only thing was that she wouldn't sit in her seat very long when they called the register. The parents have to stay for the first few sessions so I'm sure when we have to leave things might change, but all the children seemed more interested in the toys and paint than looking for their parents!

I did feel a bit nervous this morning, but it soon went once you get there and see your little one looking happy and interested (if a bit fidgety). Good luck for your session, I'm sure it'll take some time for our little ones to get fully used to it, but they will soon enough. The staff at your nursery should also be used to helping new children settle in.

let us know how you get on.

will do melfish
hope your lo settles well.

good luck to your DD (and all the others on this thread!) let us know how they get on.

I've been lucky personally, as DD has been fine at nursery. But I just thought I'd say, there's no real reason to make a child go if they really hate it. It's not a legal requirement or anything.

dd had her settling in session today where i had to stay but i told her i was there to make mommy friends and she was there to play with the other children.
she absolutely loved it
she went in and sat down joining in at playdough and i stood nearby, then she was off playing with all the toys and chatting away to the teacher and assistants and i was sitting talking with the other moms.
she ran over a few times and i told her how well she was playing nicely and she was beaming and ran off again
at the end she asked to stay longer and asked if she could have a story next week and then she was so buzzing all the way home.
as a treat i took her to the park after and dp met us there after work and we went out for dinner and she was so happy.
next wed she has to go for 3 hours by herself so i really hope she loves it again and doesnt get upset.
there was a little girl there crying and crying and wanting her mommy (who was in the room but keeping away a bit) and dd looked at her and i was worried she would join in but she didnt so shopefully the other dc wont upset her next week.
the only thing is it was all girls today and dd prefers girls at the moment so it was quite a quiet atmosphere so maybe next week will be noisier which she wouldnt like.
fingers crossed she will be ok.
hope everyone else gets on well.

My DS started today and he loved it, Really pleased got a bit teary in the morning after trying not to but he was absolutley fine it couldnt have gone any better :)

great

tomorrow is dds first day alone at nursery, wobble.
she has been a bit quiet about it and i just hope she doesnt cry and cling to me as i may just join her
fingers crossed.

dd was talking excitledly all morning about nursery, walked there fine at 12, happily hung her coat up and went to the welcome rug, then cried as soon as i went to leave, asked for cuddles which i gave her but wouldnt stop crying, had to be peeled off me crying and shouting for me and i scurried off promising to return in 3 hours with her teddy.
i cried all the walk home, tears rolling down my face, then sobbed at home and phoned dp sobbing, felt like the worst thing ive ever done to her.
i lasted 1 hour before i rang to check on her and they said she only cried for a couple of minutes and hasnt cried since and is happily playing outside. feel a bit better but also think are they lying to make me feel better?
hope when i collect her at 3.15 she is happy playing and has some nice things to tell me. i can cope if i know she cries for a ferw minutes but then enjoys herself but i cant cope if i think she is miserable and crying for 3 hours. i know she needs friends her own age and to socialise but its so hard seeing your dd crying and have to walk away, ive never done that in 3 years and its so horrible, im crying now just thinking about it.
cant wait to get ehr back.

you ok ff?

how was she when you picked up.

my dd was the same this am, cried for 10mins then was fine and quite happy, apperently

Can you stay somewhere out of sight for 10 minutes then peep in ..I am sure you will see her all happy and enjoying herself!

Hope everything is okay now familyfun. :)

Im sure she did settle down they usually stop as soon as you are gone and just get on with playing. I really hope she does settle soon it must be horrible for you I would be the same.

I really cant believe how my ds has settled I really thought he would have cried as i've hardly ever left him I was so suprised. :)

Also, DD has been at nursery for nearly a year..and have seen a lot of the children start over that year, and lots of them cried to begin with and they all now run in eagerly and obviously have a great time!

when i fetched her she was walking out, not exactly happy looking but ok iykwim, then she saw me and ran out and jumped into my arms
she said she enjoyed it and did painting and the teacher read her s story.
the teacher said dd stopped crying after about 5 mins and played fine all afternoon, she ad her drink and snack and had no problems.
on the way home she was skipping and said she had so much fun and wants to go again.
she wanted to do playdoh and painting when we got home and smothered herself in paint (which she never normally does as she is a clean freak) and said she doesnt like clean anymore she likes muddy, oh oh.
she has been shouting a bit tonight, over excited and tired i guess but also she has shouted things like, no thats mine so i think she is practising standing up for herself.
she said a girl snatched her scooter and said it was hers, i asked what she did and she said ignored her cos she is rude, fair enough.
i changed her out of her uniform at home, she was saying look i wear knickers for school (we never say knickers at home), then she said i will make you laugh by showing you my knickers. i told her its rude to show her pants and she mustnt show her pants to people at school but she said a girl was showing her knickers. so i can see she has been learning some lovely new tricks already.
me and dptook her out to dinner tonight as promised and she told dp she likes school.
i still think she will probably get upset again tomorrow (and me ) but i feel a bit better knowing she wasnt crying all afternoon. hope the crying stops soon though as its heartbreaking.
i suppose considering she has always been with me dp or my mom, she has done quite well.

carrie, was it your dds first day today? is she doing every day now, has she talked about it at home? hope she is ok

how was she today ff?
are you ok?

my dd had a few tears again, but stopped under 5 mins
after i'd gone.
she says she wants to go. and seems to enjoy it, they've told me she seems happy and plays well.
shes not had an accidents either and considering shes only just potty trained pretty good really.

what days is your dd doing?

dd is doing every afternoon, 12.15 till 3.15. today she said she was a bit nervous but not as bad as yesterday cos she knows people now, she asked me to take her over to the welcome rug and kissed me goodbye and she didnt cry, when i picked her up she ran out happily and said she has missed me but the teacher said she had been happy all day with no tears . i feel 100 times better than yesterday. i felt like the worst mother in the world leaving her crying so im glad she was ok today, hope it continues.
i want her to be really happy and settled before the baby comes along, only 10 weeks to go.
what days does your dd do carrie? is it a preschool or private. dds is a preschool so hopefully she will stay at this school.

ff i have had the exact same thing today. It was horrendous. It goes against all my instincts to leave me ds crying for me. I sobbed all the way home, then called them and his teacher said he was fine. But, like you i worry that he's sat there thinking i'll be quiet and good and then mummy will be back soon. (I overthink!)

When i picked him up they said he's be fine and he seemed happy.. he did say a little girl called him a baby though. He's only just 3 and most are a bit older.

It's just heartbreaking though, and the teachers just kept saying "it's okay, you go, he'll be fine" BUT he's never been like that before so it just doesn't seen right to leave him that way. We had a nice afternoon when we got home and a cuddle watching a dvd. I'm feeling very emotional and wondering if i should take him out of pre school. But i know i need to give it longer. Not sure how much i'll be able to take though!

Glad to see today went better. Hope tomorrow is for me!

omg, now i'm cring at the mcain bloody oven chips ad.