Would you live in a commune?

[cosyleafcafe]

We are seriously considering starting a commune, or at least a shared property ownership, with some friends. We would buy some land rurally where we can produce our own food, have our own water supply, etc.

Would anyone, or has anyone, considered this?

What are the pros and cons?

The financial risk of going in on a property with other people is a big one for us, and the potential for disagreements and arguments between people who are currently very good friends.

But the benefits of it could be substantial, especially considering the uncertainty of the future. Combining skills and resources and creating our own community.

Posting on 'preppers' to hopefully get opinions from people who have seriously considered or have experience of this - but any thoughts are welcome!

My DS lives in what they call a community.

The people who live there mostly do not own, they rent. Prospective members join on a trial basis. He likes it, but it wouldn't be for everyone.

If the ownership is shared you need to to think hard about the rules and if and how they can be changed.

@Octavia64 That's interesting, and a model we've been thinking about.

My friends more keen on it being a shared thing from the start and potentially quite a few people sharing the cost of buying a property/ smallholding and being on the deeds.

I would rather just a couple of us own the property and rent space to others who want to join.

I'm interested in anyone's experiences of the challenges and also the upsides of these models.

Have you read Utopian Dreams by Tobias Jones? He goes on a tour of different 'intentional communities'

It's an exciting idea.

I think some owning and others renting from them might be a weird power dynamic though.

I would if it were just women

No. I can barely tolerate the company of my most beloved family.

Not any more no. I would have done when younger and with small children, now, no way. I could be a hermit though 😀

Or a wise witchy woman in the forest with lots of animals

The huge issue is obviously what happens when one family realises it’s not for them and wants out, wants their money back? Can the others afford to buy them
out? What happens if one family splits up? If one member or more becomes ill and unable to work? How will work be divided?
I can imagine it being hard work.
In my opinion think that this only work sustainably when there is no other, easier options. When you can simply walk away and go back to an easy life with supermarket foods and all the conveniences of modern life I doubt that many people would stick it out. In an apocalyptic scenario where there is no choice you make it work or die!

I have thought long and hard about getting a small holding, but I see too many potential problems with a community long term.

Oooh, I like the sound of witchy woman. There would have to be a Tesco Express within walking distance though. I'm practically a hermit now and love it.
My sister is looking for land with water at the moment in order to live comfortably off grid. She thinks everyone should be financially equal and is most concerned about the legal implications if people fall out, become financially dependant, need care, or refuse to move if things go tits up. Is not keen on hippy dippy types and wants ordinary people with good practical skills. Could be a wonderful way to live and is gaining in popularity. Good luck and keep researching.

I could do it if people respected each other's need for space. I love nature, growing my own stuff and doing little handy projects, but I couldn't abide other people in my pocket all day. I like time for reflection and contemplation and a slower pace of life.

I'm not adverse to a bit of socialising but they'd have to be pretty relaxed, self-sufficient people.
They could live very close by, but I would need them to have their own interests and skills and spend the majority of their time doing their own thing instead of depending on me for entertainment. I would much rather live alone.

I know a couple of very high-energy, intense people in real life, and there's no way I could live with them in a commune. I suppose that's the risk you would run, a personality clash.

Thanks all for the thoughtful replies.

@Smartiepants79 That is one of my worries for sure - that's why I worry about going in with lots of people rather than just one or two - because most of my friends are not very wealthy people so wouldn't be able to buy each other out.

I don't think it's necessarily incompatible with eating supermarket foods or having modern conveniences, though. Surely it's possible to have a balance of being self sufficient but enjoying a degree of modern life. I don't think any of us want to be completely off grid, we just want to be prepared for the future.

@ThreeFeetTall Thank you for the book recommendation. I haven't read it but it looks like it might be a religious perspective and none of us are religious, so I'm not sure if it will be all that relevant to us? We definitely won't be a faith-based community.
It's a good point that the dynamic could be weird with some owning and some renting though!

If there are any other book recommendations on the topic of communal living I would be interested (particularly anything from within the past couple of years that might allude to the climate crisis)

I watched a documentary on the Kins settlements in Russia. Can’t find it now but there’s a few and this is one:

https://www.ringingcedarsofrussia.org/kins-settlements/kins-settlement-mauri-estonia.php

I would and have spoken to friends about this once retirement kicks in. As long as everyone can pull weight financially and with skills and there is a good rota system I think it could be amazing!

I listened to this segment (on a woman and friends who have done it) last year too, so it can be done. As others have said I think it's easier with singles than couples. www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/m001ptjh

I would be very wary about buying with other people, there's so much that can go wrong. Good friends can become worst enemies once you live with them and share financial interests. Arguments can easily develop over who's pulling their weight, who does what task, how the food is apportioned. It's human beings you're dealing with unfortunately.

I lived in a commune in my teens but there was no money, married couples, kids or other complications involved. It was good at that point in life but I wouldn't consider it as a "fully formed" adult.

No, I can foresee it being a cliquey kind of environment; the kind of place you'd be happily living your life and then five people would knock on your door and tell you that, unknowingly, you'd been doing something terrible and annoying everyone.

We have considered it in the past. Probably easier to join an existing set up than start from scratch. I would rather build strong links between several households but living separately (preferably nearby). You can share resources and labour without sharing a roof.

I had a friend who did this with her husband and another couple. They bought a farm that had two houses and several outbuildings. Had one house each, tended the land together and later portioned off some land for tiny houses and then had tenants making it more of a commune. Went tits up when it was revealed one of the husbands had accrued debt and had stopped contributing to their joint mortgage (one mortgage payment with two sources going into a bank account that the mortgage payment was automatically taken from) and the bank got in touch. Due to this they risked loosing the farm. Long story short it ended breakup of one marriage and destruction of four friendships and a few tiny house dwellers without houses/land for their tiny house. The farm was sold at a loss. It can work I’m sure but just be careful to get the legal side worked out and think about all eventualities.

No, I would love a smallholding, but wouldn't want to have my life so determined by others. I think communes inevitably stray from the good intentions they start with as people seek their way or the highway. The loudest voices or bullies win. Even my allotment committee is political, with the ones that never want to change anything vs the ones that want to bring in new ideas!

I loved the idea of the Lammas community when I saw it on grand designs, but that now seems to have broken up into freeholds due to disagreements.

NC for this as it's potentially outing but I already do live in a community (a housing cooperative to be more specific) and happy to try and answer questions.

Personally I agree with the comments about the power dynamic being off if there are "owners" and "renters".

My co-op is a member of Radical Routes so we are fully mutual (everyone who lives here holds a non-profit share of the cooperative, all tenants are members and all members are tenants). One of the central tenets of Radical Routes is "homes without landlords" so it might not be the model you are looking for, but it's a very very good source of info on setting up, running, and financing if you do decide to go down the cooperative route.

Check out the Diggers and Dreamers website. Also Global Ecovillage Network.

I grew up 'commune adjacent' and have since lived in a commune for many years.

You need equity in status, anything else is a recipe for disaster. Complete transparency and clarity of expectation. Every task and responsibility charted and allocated. Joint decision making ideally by consensus.

You need tructures in place before it happens for if or when things go wrong; conflict resolution, reparations, insurance against pretty much every eventuality, expectations for conduct in the event of disagreement. In fact, as counterintuitive as it sounds, don't go into an arrangement like this until you've seen what all intended parties are like under prolonged intense pressure and provocation: this can be eye-opening! And whatever you see, believe it, know it won't change, and factor in whether you can 'work with' x, y or z trait, behaviour, preference or tendency.

You need adequate personal space, including family unit bathrooms and space for older children even if your children are currently small. The care for and upkeep of shared spaces must be a top priority that everyone buys into, at a set standard.

Certain jobs, the less desirable, drudgery ones, should be shared or rotated ideally, and recognised as such, otherwise resentment can breed.

But don't bother with the Diggers & Dreamers FB groups - they're full of quantum healing ecstatic dance practitioners looking for somewhere to exchange their skills for somewhere to live with their 7 dogs, or rich people running glamping sites looking for slave free labour Weirdly neither type are what the other is looking for, so the search goes on and on.